For today’s Friday Funnies, I have two parrot jokes. The first of the parrot jokes is the clean version which I got in an email today.
Parrot Jokes – Curing parrot Of Filthy Language
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.
Finally fed up, John yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot, and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes, the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. There wasn’t a peep from the parrot for over a minute.
Fearing that he’d killed the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions, and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour.”
John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.
He was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird spoke-up, very softly,
“May I ask what the turkey did?”
The second of the parrot jokes was from back in my high school days, and it went something like this.
Parrot Jokes – The Spying Parrot
A man was sure that his wife was cheating on him and because this was before the days of hidden wireless cameras, he went to a pet shop and asked the owner if he had any brilliant parrots. After explaining why he wanted such a parrot, the pet shop owner showed him this parrot with no legs.
The man said, “Come off it, man. That parrot is next to useless. How is he going to see what is going on if he can’t sit on the perch?
The pet shop owner explains the parrot would hang on by his penis. Reluctantly the bloke buys the parrot, explains what the parrot has to do and places him in a spot where he could see both the front door and the bedroom.
The next day after his wife goes shopping he goes up to the parrot and asks him what went on.
Parrot: “Well, the doorbell rang, and when your wife answered the door, she let this man in. She then threw herself into his arms.”
Man: “Yeah, then what happened?’
Parrot: “Well, there was all this passionate kissing, and your wife put her hand down his pants.”
Bloke: “Yeah, yeah, then what happened?”
Parrot: “First she rips off his shirt, and then he pulls off her t-shirt and her perfectly formed firm breasts popped out!”
Man: “Shit, don’t stop now, then what happened?”
Parrot: “I don’t know, man, that’s when I cracked a stack and fell off the perch!
Finally, my last of the parrot jokes is one I put together using the Creator.
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