French Joke Friday Funnies #376

Today’s Friday Funnies is a French joke. I’m calling it a french joke because it has a French woman in it and it’s funny.

French Joke A Woman And Her Dog

There was this American soldier who was looking for a place to sit on the train. The only seat available was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle-aged French woman, and her dog was using the seat. The weary soldier asked, “Ma’am, please move your dog so I can have that seat.”

french joke

The French woman looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said, You Americans are so rude. Can’t you see my little FiFi is using that seat?”

The American walked away, determined to find somewhere to rest. Unfortunately, no empty seats were to be seen, and he found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, “Please, lady. May I sit there?”. I’m very tired.”

The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted “You Americans! Not only are you rude, but you are also arrogant. Imagine!”

The American didn’t say another word. Instead, he leaned over, picked up the dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat.

The woman shrieked at the American and demanded that someone defend her honour and chastise the American.

An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly “You know, Sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you’ve thrown the wrong bitch out the window.”

You May Find The Following Of Interest

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funniest Golf Joke video. My latest Laughaholics video is an Adults Only Joke video.

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If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

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Funny Irish Logic Friday Funnies #375

You’ve got to love the funny Irish logic, especially, because funny Irish logic tends to make you laugh out loud.

Funny Irish Logic Regarding Mad Cow Disease

They never aired this particular TV interview. You know there are so many TV channels, each starved of new programs.

In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the leading cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who may have some theories on the matter…

The interview was as follows…

The lady reporter: “I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease… Can you offer any reason for this disease? “

The farmer stared at the reporter and said: “Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year? “

Reporter (obviously embarrassed): “Well, sir, that’s a new piece of information…but what’s the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?”

Farmer: “And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day? “

Reporter: “Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point? “

Farmer: “I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day. And only screwing you once a year, wouldn’t you get mad? “

Funny Irish The program was never aired!

More Funny Irish Logic

funny Irish logic

On the bus, Paddy got chatting to Murphy who was carrying a bag on his back

‘What’s in the bag?’ asked Paddy

‘I’m not going to tell’, replied Murphy

‘Go on, do.’ pleaded Paddy. 

‘Ah, all right then, it’s ducks.’ announced Murphy

‘If I guess how many ducks you have in the bag, will you give me one of them?’ enquired Paddy.

‘Look’, said Murphy, ‘If you guess the correct number, I’ll give you both of them.’

‘Five!’ said Paddy triumphantly.

You May Find The Following Of Interest

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funny Blonde jokes video. While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest video Luminar 4 Review which show just how easy it is to replace a boring sky for a truly dramatic one in your photos.

Doctor Jokes Friday Funnies #374

Hey guys, welcome to today’s Friday Funnies post about doctor jokes. Today’s doctor jokes post, as all my Fridays Funnies are, is thanks to the many jokes emails I receive daily.

The Cardiologist Doctor Jokes

A Lexus mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of an LS460 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was waiting for the service manager to have a look at his car. The mechanic shouted to the waiting, cardiologist, “Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?”

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a dirty rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new.

So how is it that I make $48,000 a year and you make $1.7M when you and I are doing the same work?”

The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic, “Try doing it while the engine is running”.

doctor jokes

Doctor Jokes And The Elderly

There are times when, as a patient, for whatever reason, you misinterpret what the doctor has been saying to you. Patients misinterpreting their doctors happens a lot when the patients are elderly. Take the next joke as a prime example.

Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said: “You’re doing great, aren’t you?”

Morris replied: “Just doing what you said, Doc. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.”

The doctor said: “I didn’t say that. I said, You’ve got a heart murmur – be careful.”

You May Find The Following Of Interest

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funny Blonde jokes video. While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest in a series of videos called Adelaide Oval RoofClimb review.