Childbirth Jokes Friday Funnies #283


I got this email today which I’m sure is the first ever childbirth joke that’s ever hit my inbox. I thought it was a cracker of a childbirth joke. I sure hope you agree.

A Childbirth Joke Childbirth at 65

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.

“May I see the new baby?” I asked.

“Not yet,” she said…. “I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while, first.”

Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, “May I see the new baby now?”

“No, not yet,” she said.

After another few minutes had elapsed,

I asked again, “May I see the baby now?”

“No, not yet,” replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, “Well, when can I see the baby?”

“WHEN HE CRIES!” she told me.

“WHEN HE CRIES?” I demanded. “Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?”

“BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!”

I thought that was pretty cool so I decided if I could find another childbirth joke. I found this childbirth joke on Pinterest. Clicking on the image will take you to the Pinterest page.

childbirth joke

What makes this funny is I can almost see it happening in a delivery room out there. :wink_ee:

I reckon this next childbirth joke took place somewhere in Australia :wink:

Sheila, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her obstetrician. After her scan and consequent examination, she shyly began, “My husband wants me to ask you if its still okay…”
“I know, I know.” the doctor interrupts, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, “I get asked that all the time. Don’t you worry at all, sex is fine until late in the pregnancy.”
“No, that’s not it at all,” Sheila confessed. “He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn.”

OK guys, hope you liked that Friday Funnies.If you like some more laughs check out my Friday Funnies category or you can read some of my really funny sports jokes.

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Haircut Jokes Friday Funnies #282


Haircut jokes you ask? There are really haircut jokes around? I wouldn’t have believed it either until I got these in the email. The fact that haircut jokes actually exists just goes to show that you can make a joke out of almost anything.

Haircut Jokes #1 The Deal

bad Haircut JokesA teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father says, “Tell what son, first you bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut. Then we’ll talk about the car.”

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he’d settle for the offer and so they shook on it.

After about six weeks his father said, “Son, you’ve brought your grades up and I’ve observed that you actually have been studying your Bible, but I’m disappointed you haven’t had your hair cut.”

The boy said, “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed from studying the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there’s even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.”

You just have to love the Dad’s reply!

“Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?”

Good one day :wink_ee:

Haircut Jokes #2 Kids View

Mary says to her brother Joe, “Say Joe, have you noticed that dad’s getting taller?”

Joe says, “Nope, why do you say that Mary?”

Mary replies, “Look at him Joe, can’t you see that his head is starting to stick through his hair?”

Haircut Jokes #3 The Rip Off

A bloke walks into the local barber’s shop with a young boy.  He tells the barber that he needs a haircut and that the boy only need a trim. After getting his haircut he says to the young boy, “I just have to pop into the supermarket whilst you get your hair cut”.

Half an hour later, the haircut is finished but the man has yet to return.  The barber says “I think your dad’s forgotten about you”.

The boy says “Oh, that’s not my dad.  He just stopped me on the street and asked if I wanted a free haircut, then brought me here”.

That’s it for this weeks Friday Funnies. If you’re looking for more great jokes I have hundreds in my Friday Funnies category or you can read some of my really funny sports jokes.

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Funny Things People Do Friday Funnies #281


I love Friday Funnies. So does everybody else which is why it’s been going for years. Friday Funnies is all about making people laugh. Some times it’s not about jokes, it’s about funny things people do. Like the following joke for example, for all we know it could actually have happened and so actually fits in the funny things people do category.

Funny Things People Do Trucker’s Breakfast

A trucker came into a Truck Stop Cafe’ and placed his order. He said I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.’ The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, ‘This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards….. What does he think this place is an auto parts store?’

‘No,’ the cook said. ‘Three flat tires mean three pancakes; a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up; and a pair of running boards… Are 2 slices of crisp bacon!

‘Oh….. OK!’ said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

The trucker asked, ‘What are the beans for, Blondie?’

‘She replied, ‘I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!’

And they say that blondes are dumb :wink_ee:

Funny Things People Do Scottish Drinking Song

This next one came on an email with the heading “Scottish Karaoke Drinking Song”. I liked it so much I had to find it on YouTube so could post it here. You really need to hear / watch the video all the way to the end. Two girls appear in it who do a funny thing and then it’s topped off by the Scotsman himself.

This video has 81,ooo likes and over 16 million views. Just goes to show how popular it is.

Speaking of funny things people do, Dennis the Menace did a lot of funny things. Take this image for example.

Funny things people do

Speaking of videos, I’ve just posted my latest video about sexy moments in womens sport. It would be great if you could head on over and give it a thumbs up. Remember, if you’re looking for more joke, my Friday Funnies category has hundreds of them.

 

 

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