Swear Words And Kids Friday Funnies #125

They say that middle children have it hard. Not me. If anything I learned a lot from being a middle child. Luckily for me I learned from my older brother what not to do. If my brother used a swear word or did something else that got him a belting I knew what not to do.  :thumbup_ee:

This next joke is about two brothers. The older one has decided that they’re old enough to use swear words and he convinces the younger one that today is the day that swearing should enter their vocabulary.

Children And Swearing

A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.

‘You know what?’ says the 7 year old, ‘I think it’s about time we started swearing.’

The 4 year old nods her head in approval, so the 7 year old says, ‘When we go downstairs for breakfast I’m gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?’

‘Ok’ the 4 year old, agrees with enthusiasm..

The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast….

‘Oh, shit mum, I don’t know, I suppose I’ll have some Coco Pops’

WHACK!! He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up,

and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.

She looked at the 4 year old and asked with a stern voice, ‘ And what do YOU want for breakfast, youngster?’

‘I don’t know,’ she blubbers, ‘but it won’t be fucking Coco Pops’

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If you would like to see some sporting jokes check out these Sports Jokes.

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Irish Artist Friday Funnies #124

I don’t believe it! The Irish have invaded Friday Funnies yet again. The joke that you are about it read takes place in and Irish art gallery in Dublin. Naturally it involves an Irish artist.

Have you every been to an art gallery and scratched your head about the actual meaning of one painting or another? Well, as this joke shows, you’re not the only one.

Irish Artist And His Painting

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. 

The painting depicted 3 black men totally naked, sitting on a bench.  Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis. 

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment.  He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African Americans in a predominately white, patriarchal society.  ‘In fact’, he pointed out, ‘some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society’. 

After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, ‘Would you like to know what the painting is really about?’ 

‘Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery’, asked the couple. Read the rest of this entry

Headache Cure For Friday Funnies #123

Headaches are anything but funny right? Well, I came across this joke that centres around this poor bloke who’s been suffering with a bad headache for ages. If this joke doesn’t make you laugh I reckon you’ve probably got a headache and need to take a pill.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

The Headache Cure

The doctor said, ‘Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.

You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.’

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men’s clothing store and thought, ‘That’s what I need… A new suit…’

He entered the shop and told the salesman, ‘I’d like a new suit..’

The elderly tailor eye d him briefly and said, ‘Let’s see… Size 44 long.’

Joe laughed, ‘That’s right, how did you know?’

‘Been in the business 60 years!’ the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, ‘How about a new shirt?’

Joe thought for a moment and then said, ‘Sure.’

The salesman eyed Joe and said, ‘Let’s see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.’

Joe was surprised, ‘That’s right, how did you know?’

‘Been in the business 60 years.’

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, ‘How about some new underwear?’

Joe thought for a moment and said, ‘Sure.’

The salesman said, ‘Let’s see… Size 36.

Joe laughed, ‘Ah ha! I got you! I’ve worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.’

The salesman shook his head, ‘You can’t wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.’

New suit – $400

New shirt – $36

New underwear – $6

Second Opinion – PRICELESS

I put this together with the aid of the Logo Creator. I hope you enjoy it.

her headache your quickie

To finish off this weeks Friday Funnies I reckon I’ll give you a little flash of a sexy girls panties. It’s another funny video from the Just For Gags crowd.

The Skirt And Panties Prank

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