Funny Weight Loss Jokes

Today’s Friday Funnies is about funny weight loss jokes. My latest laughaholics video, the Funny Side Of Losing Weight was the inspiration for today’s post. Please head on over to watch the video, and I appreciate any support you give.

The first of today’s funny weight loss jokes is about a report which is circulating that being overweight is good for you.

News Report Being Overweight Benefits

A new report suggests that being overweight is not as harmful as is commonly believed, and confers some surprising benefits.

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French Joke Funny As

Today’s Friday Funnies is a French joke. I’m calling it a french joke because it has a French woman in it and it’s funny.

French Joke A Woman And Her Dog

There was this American soldier who was looking for a place to sit on the train. The only seat available was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle-aged French woman, and her dog was using the chair. The weary soldier asked, “Ma’am, please move your dog so I can have that seat.” 

The French woman looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said, You Americans are so rude. Can’t you see my little FiFi is using that seat?” 

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Driving Test Joke Funniest Driving Test Jokes

For the first time, Friday Funnies is featuring a driving test joke. Thanks to Hugh for sending me today’s driving test joke. 

Blonde Driving Test Joke

A blonde has failed the written driving test four times.

At the fifth attempt, she was determined to pass:

But the test had the same question. “You are driving at 100 mph. On your right is a wall, on your left, is a cliff. On the road, you see an older man and a young man. What will you hit?

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Parrot Jokes That Make You Laugh

For today’s Friday Funnies, I have two parrot jokes. The first of the parrot jokes is the clean version which I got in an email today.

Parrot Jokes – Curing parrot Of Filthy Language

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary. 

parrot jokes
Created with The Creator

Finally fed up, John yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot, and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes, the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. There wasn’t a peep from the parrot for over a minute. 

Fearing that he’d killed the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions, and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

He was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird spoke-up, very softly,

“May I ask what the turkey did?”

The second of the parrot jokes was from back in my high school days, and it went something like this.

Parrot Jokes – The Spying Parrot

A man was sure that his wife was cheating on him and because this was before the days of hidden wireless cameras, he went to a pet shop and asked the owner if he had any brilliant parrots. After explaining why he wanted such a parrot, the pet shop owner showed him this parrot with no legs.

The man said, “Come off it, man. That parrot is next to useless. How is he going to see what is going on if he can’t sit on the perch?

The pet shop owner explains the parrot would hang on by his penis. Reluctantly the bloke buys the parrot, explains what the parrot has to do and places him in a spot where he could see both the front door and the bedroom.

The next day after his wife goes shopping he goes up to the parrot and asks him what went on.

Parrot: “Well, the doorbell rang, and when your wife answered the door, she let this man in. She then threw herself into his arms.”

Man: “Yeah, then what happened?’

Parrot: “Well, there was all this passionate kissing, and your wife put her hand down his pants.”

Bloke: “Yeah, yeah, then what happened?”

Parrot: “First she rips off his shirt, and then he pulls off her t-shirt and her perfectly formed firm breasts popped out!”

Man: “Shit, don’t stop now, then what happened?”

Parrot: “I don’t know, man, that’s when I cracked a stack and fell off the perch!

Finally, my last of the parrot jokes is one I put together using the Creator.

You May Find The Following Of Interest

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funny Indian Joke video. I’m especially proud of that joke. There are also two more funny parrot jokes, the Horny Parrot Joke and more hilarious parrot humour.

While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest video Luminar 4 Review which show just how easy it is to replace a dreary sky for a dramatic one in your photos.

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Safe For Work Sex Jokes

I’m a red-blooded Aussie, and I have to admit that I love sex jokes. The thing is that sex jokes don’t have to be vulgar and be full of swear words. To prove my point, I’ve come up with this Safe For Work Sex Jokes post. Now and again, I will be linking to one of my YouTube videos that I believe are also safe for work sex jokes.

Funny Safe For Work Sex Jokes

A typical macho bloke married a regular good looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules. “I’ll be home when I want if I want, what time I want, and I don’t expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner. I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my buddies, and I don’t want you to give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?” 

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Walks In Bar Joke

Because my last Bar jokes post went so well I thought I would do another Walks In Bar Joke post. However, before I get into today’s funny walks in bar joke, I would love you to head over and watch my latest Laughaholics video, Funny Guitar Playing Joke. A thumbs up and share on that post would be really appreciated. 👌

Funniest Walks In Bar Joke

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Best Harley Joke Ever

I do believe that this is the first Harley Davidson joke I’ve featured on this site and that would definitely make it the best ever Harley joke ever seen online. In fact, I loved this joke so much that I put it on YouTube. If you would like to watch me tell that joke online, rather than having to read it here, head over to my Funny Harley Davidson Joke.

My Best Harley Joke

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Best Blonde Jokes

Before getting into my best blonde jokes post, I would like to link to my three YouTube videos about blonde humour. The first one went live way back in 2013 and was my 3rd Laughaholics video. I called that video Funny Blonde Jokes.

Then came my second video about blonde humour. I called that video, Top 10 Funniest Blonde Jokes. That video went live in July 2019. It’s by far the most popular of my joke videos almost reaching 5k views!

Because of the ever-growing popularity of that video, I decided to do another blonde joke video. I called that video, Top Three Funny Blonde Jokes. I think my delivery of what I believe are the best blonde jokes has improved over time. What do you think? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

My Best Blonde Jokes

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Funny Condom Jokes

I hope you love funny condom jokes because today’s post is all about funny condom jokes. In case you’re wondering what inspired this post is was my latest funny condom video. What was really weird is that this wasn’t my first funny condom jokes video. I did one so long ago, I completely forgot about it. That video was called the condom – franger joke. Man, I looked so young in that video. 😎

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Irish Daredevils & Older Man Wisdom

Yep, it’s Friday Funnies time again, and I have a real treat for you guys. We’ll start with the ever favourite Irish joke. This one is about a bunch of Irish Daredevils!

The Irish Daredevils

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section, and Gerry says to Paddy, ‘Dat’s dem.’

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

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