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Famous Einstein Quote Friday Funnies #301

Apparently, there has been a famous Einstein quote that’s been floating around the net for some years now. I got it in the email today, and I found it quite amusing. Which is why it’s made it into this weeks Friday Funnies.

It all has to do with how the mobile phone is destroying society and has several images to support the fact. First, you’re presented with the photos and then finally you’re given the famous Einstein quote!

Preceding The Famous Einstein Quote

Famous Einstein Quote

Newlyweds planning their honeymoon.

Famous Einstein Quote

A day at the beach.

Famous Einstein Quote

Having dinner with your mates. What ripping conversation!

Famous Einstein Quote

Out on an intimate date.

Famous Einstein Quote

Having a conversation with your best mate.

Famous Einstein Quote

Visiting the museum.

Famous Einstein Quote

I know that Albert Einstein was one super smart bloke, but I had my doubts as to whether or not he came up with this quote. So, did Albert Einstein come up with the quote, “I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots?” Apparently not as can be attested by this website.

Now, I can’t just leave you without giving you what I believe to be a hilarious joke.

Woman Farts In BMW Dealership

Jenna walks into a BMW dealership. She browses around, spots the Top-of-the-line Beemer and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the beautiful leather upholstery, she mistakenly farts out loud.

Feeling very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a salesman doesn’t pop up right now.

As Jenna turns around, her worst nightmare comes to pass in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool like Johnny Depp and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, “Good day, Madame. How may I help you today?”

Feeling very uncomfortable, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her accident, Jenna asks, “Sir, what is the price of this lovely car?”

The salesman answers, “Madam if you farted just touching it, you are going to absolutely shit yourself when I tell you the price.”

If you’re looking for more laughs you should check out these really funny Little Johnny jokes.

 

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Magician Jokes

Today’s Friday Funnies is all to do with magician jokes. The first of the magician jokes takes place on a cruise ship and involves a smart arse parrot. I’ve featured parrot jokes on WassupBlog before like the parrot jokes one for example.

Magician Jokes Cruise Style

A magician was working on a Caribbean cruise ship. As every week he had a different, the magician thought it would be easier to do the same tricks over and over again. Unfortunately, he didn’t take into account the captain’s parrot.

You see, the captain’s parrot sat in on the weekly shows and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show:

“Look, it’s not the same hat.”

“Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table.”

“Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?”

The magician was pretty pissed but couldn’t do anything because he knew the parrot belonged to the captain.

One day there was this huge storm which caused the ship to sink. The magician found himself floating on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean. He wasn’t at all happy to find he shared it with the annoying parrot.

They stared at each other with hate but did not utter a word. The silence went on for day after day. After a week the parrot said: “OK, I give up. Where’s the boat?

During another magic show, one of the audience thought he would have a bit of interaction with the magician. It all came about after a particularly spectacular magic trick. A man from the back of the room yelled, “How’d you do that?”

“I could tell you, sir”, the magician answered, “But then I’d have to kill you.”

After a short pause, the man yelled back, “Ok, then… just tell my wife!”…

I found the next joke on jokeoverflow.com.

magician jokes

If you thought that was funny, you should check out my Top 10 Little Johnny Memes!

Also, I’m looking for YouTube subscribers. This post explains why I’m looking for YouTube subscribers. You can help me by subscribing to my YouTube Channel.

 

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It’s time for a naughty Little Johnny Joke. Do you know, the hardest thing about the Friday Funnies posts is thinking up new keywords for my SEO. Apparently, they have to be original. So, today’s Friday Funnies is about a naughty Little Johnny Jokes because I haven’t used ‘naughty Little Johnny jokes’ yet.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

I think you’re going to love these naughty Little Johnny jokes too.  :smoke_tb:

Naughty Little Johnny Jokes Little Johnny Gone Wild

Little Johnnie’s neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie’s family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnnie’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, “What a beautiful baby.”

The mother said, “Why, thank you, Little Johnnie.”

Johnnie said, “He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?”

“Yes”, the mother replied “we are so thankful, the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision.”

“That’s great”, said Little Johnnie, “coz he’d be absolutely stuffed if he needed glasses.”

Yep, that’s naughty Little Johnny for you!

I think now is a great time to show you my latest YouTube video which just happens to be about a naughty Little Johnny jokes. Actually, it has ten of them.  :party:

Top 10 Little Johnny Memes

I created all of those Little Johnny memes using the Creator. One of them is actually an original that I put together from something that happened at work. Can you pick out which one it was? Check out this post to see if you’re right.

Also, this post will explain why I’m looking for more YouTube subscribers. You can help me by subscribing to my YouTube Channel.

This is one of my favourite memes that you’ll see in the video.

Naughty Little Johnny jokes

Which was your favourite meme?

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Proofreading is important. Ask any good blogger and they’ll tell you that proofreading is important. Well, this Friday Funnies shows how important it is to proofread when complaining to your landlord, whoever that may be.

Proofreading Is Important When Writing Letters

What you’d about to read is a whole pile of extracts of letters written by council tenants.
1. It’s the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
3.. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
6.. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen..
10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.
11. The next door neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can’t take it anymore.
12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it’s now getting too much for me.
16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.
18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife…
20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can’t get BBC2.
22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it. (Yes, that’s very serious I think !)
My favourite, thanks to The Creator….
Proofreading Is Important
Check out my Heaps Of Jokes and my crazy sports jokes for more side splitting laughter. Oh yeah, there’s also heaps of jokes right here in my Friday Funnies.
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