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You know how I get the majority of my Friday Funnies from emails my friends send me. Well today is no different. Actually, it is a little different in that I wasn’t sure if the statement made about the contents of this email was actually true.

Here’s the email I got today.

To commemorate her birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan’s Radio  City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was ‘My Favorite Things’  from the legendary movie ‘Sound Of Music’.   Here are the lyrics she used: 

(Sing It!) – If you sing it, its especially hysterical!!!

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and  handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,

And then I don’t feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring, 

These are a few of my favourite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin’,
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’,
And we won’t mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favourite things.

When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I’ve had,
And then I don’t feel so bad.
(Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores. Please share Ms. Andrews’ clever wit and humour with others who would appreciate it.)

Unfortunately I did some research and as it works out Julie Andrews never sang this song. What a shame because I’m sure it would have rocked the house if she did.

Finally, something I put together with the aid of The Creator.

Julie Andrews Senior Citizen Aids

OK, remember to share this post with your friends and most of all to have a great weekend.

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Mule Trading Friday Funnies #228


Mule Trading Joke

mule trading

Like all my Friday Funnies I got this one in a email. I thought it was pretty funny. I hope you like it.

Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Starkville, MS Daily and bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.

The next morning the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night.”

Curtis & Leroy replied, Well, then just give us our money back.”

The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”

They said, “OK then, just bring us the dead mule.”

The farmer asked, “What in the world ya’ll gonna do with a dead mule?”

Curtis said, “We gonna raffle him off.”

The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead mule!”

Leroy said, “We sure can! Heck, we don’t hafta tell nobody he’s dead!”

A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked.  “What’d you fellers ever do with that dead mule?”

 They said, “We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do.”

Leroy said, “Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.”

The farmer said, “My Lord, didn’t anyone complain?”

Curtis said, “Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back.”

Curtis and Leroy now work for the government. They’re overseeing the Medicare and Social Security Programs.

I hope you liked the mule trading joke. Don’t forget to share it with your mates.

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In case you’re wondering why I’ve called this post funny shit is because it’s just another keyword that I’m targeting. Some of you may think I’m crazy because it may piss Google off! Well, as this Too Sexy For Google post will tell you, I now longer care about the Google moral police.

So, in the hope that there are people out there searching for funny shit I’ve decided to call Friday Funnies #227 Funny Shit To Make You Laugh!

Some Funny Shit To Make You Laugh

Have you ever wondered why it’s just not smart to give women shit? I think William Golding said it best when he said….

funny shit to make you laugh

Do you remember the old saying, If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Well, I found a completely different way to look at it.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

more funny shit to make you laugh

Then there’s this image of some funny shit at the Rio Olympics because of the Russian Olympic team.

funny shit Rio Olympics

Here’s something I put together with help from The Creator.

more really funny shit

To continue with some more really funny shit I’ve included something that may well have taken place in a mortuary.

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.  The coroner calls the police to tell them his results after the examination.  “First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the Coroner.

“Second body: “Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”

The Inspector asked, “What of the third body?”

“Ah,” says the coroner, “This is the most unusual one. Paddy from Belfast, 30, struck by lightning.”

“Why is he smiling then?” inquires the Inspector.

“Thought he was having his picture taken.”

Yeah, it just happened to be an Irishman didn’t it.  :smoke_tb:

 

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