Friday Funnies Archives

Elderly Jokes sure can tickle your funny bones. I know that to be true because there are so many elderly jokes out there. Heck, you’ll find more than one of them on this blog alone. It was only last week when I posted the one called Defence Attorney Sexy Sals Friday Funnies #110. The week before that I posted the one called Old Age Friday Funnies #109.

So, it looks like I’m going for a hat trick. So, sitg yourself down, grab a cup of java and relax while reading this weeks Elderly Jokes Bonanza.

Elderly Joke #1

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they’re physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. ‘Want anything while I’m in the kitchen?’ he asks.

‘Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?’

‘Sure..’

‘Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?’ she asks.

‘No, I can remember it.’

‘Well, I’d like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?’

He says, ‘I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.’

‘I’d also like whipped cream. I’m certain you’ll forget that, write it down?’ she asks. Read the rest of this entry

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Defence Attorney Sexy Sals Friday Funnies #110

Man, have I had a busy week, what with work and the busy life of a blogger and all. Not to mention having to keep the wife happy  :devil_tb: I’ve written several post on my other blogs, most of which was to promote my latest best online sports betting sites.

Phew. :phew!!: Sure makes me glad that the weekend is finally! Hang on a sec. Damn! I have to work this weekend.  :doh_tb:  Oh well, at least I have this weeks Friday Funnies to cheer me up. And believe you me, you’re going to love this weeks Friday Funnies.

This next jokes takes place in a court and involves our one of a very amusing elderly woman.

Defence Attorney & The Old Woman

defence attorney

Defence Attorney:
Will you please state your age?

Old Lady:
I am 94 years old.

Defence Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening,
When a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defence Attorney:
Did you know him?

Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Defence Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?

Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

Defence Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Old Lady:
No, I didn’t stop him.

Defence Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my David died some 30 years ago.

Defence Attorney:
What happened next?

Old Lady:
He began to rub all over my body.

Defence Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defence Attorney:
Why not?

Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven’t felt that good in years!

Defence Attorney:
What happened next?

Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so spicy’ that I just laid down and told him
‘Take me, young man. Take me now!’

Defence Attorney:
Did he take you? Read the rest of this entry

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Old Age Friday Funnies #109

I’ve posted a few posts about the elderly, mainly because they can be quite funny. Like Friday Funnies #45 which was about the elderly citizen who just bought a BMW Z4. Then there was also Friday Funnies #102 which had a elderly couple having wild sex. There was also Friday Funnies #49 which was about having Sunday sex.

I wonder why a lot of these jokes about growing old revolve around sex? Do you think perhaps it because we’re so worried about not getting any when we get older? Whatever the reason, these elderly jokes can be quite funny. Which is exactly why I’m posting a couple more. Only one of which is sex orientated.  :smoke_tb:

Old Age And Why You Shouldn’t Bring Your Husband To Court

A very cranky old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store.

She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard to the arresting officer who took her away,complaining and criticizing throughout the process.

When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked what she had stolen from the store.

The lady defiantly replied, “Just a stupid can of peaches.”

The judge then asked why she had done it.

She replied, “I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store.”

The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.

She replied, “Nine, but what do you care about that?”

The judge patiently said, “Well, ma’am, because I’m going to give you nine days in jail –
one day for each peach.”

As the judge was about to drop gavel, the lady’s long suffering husband raised his hand and asked if he might speak. Read the rest of this entry

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