Retirement Humour Learning Chinese

For today’s Friday funnies I’m going to visit a little bit of retirement humour. After I read the joke, not only did I have a good laugh, I also came to realise that retirees are pretty smart. It’s not surprising then that this couple came up with the following bit of retirement humour.

Retirement Humour

Working people frequently ask us retired folk what we do to pass our days. Well, for example, just the other day, Angie and I went into Solihull to do some shopping. When we came out, there was a parking meter attendant writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and I said, ‘Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?’ He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I told him he was a big ugly waste of space.

He just glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tyres. Angie then joined in and called him an a–hole.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield then started writing another ticket.This one for no tax disc on display.

This went on for about 10 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Just then our bus arrived, so we got on it and went home.  We try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired.

Retirement Humour

Learning Chinese

Have you ever wanted to learn how to speak Chinese? You have? But you’ve never done it because learning Chinese looks really hard? Well, it’s you’re lucky day because I’ve discovered a really easy way to learn Chinese. Just study the image below. It has English on the left with the Chinese translation on the right. Just make sure you sound out the Chinese translation in order to absorb the lesson properly.

learning chinese

To finish off I’ve found a really funny video. Have you ever been in a situation where the person next to you fall asleep and leans on you? Perhaps in a plane, train or bus? Well this sexy blondes does an excellent job of falling asleep on a range of victims.  :lol_tb:

Did you like this weeks Friday Funnies? Don’t forget to share it with your friends.

Want some more jokes? Head on over for some really funny sports humour.

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Yep, it’s Friday Funnies time again and I have a real treat for you guys. We’ll start with the ever favourite Irish Joke. This one is about a bunch of Irish Daredevils!

The Irish Daredevils

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, ‘Dat’s dem.’

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

‘Yeah, we’ll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,’ says Gerry..

The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.

Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry’s truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass..

At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, ‘Dis looks like a grand place..’

He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.

Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, ‘Feck dat.
Dis budgie jumping is too feck’n dangerous for me!’.

Irish daredevils

Moment’s later; Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass.

He’s been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other..

‘Hi, Paddy, watch dis,’ Seamus says.

He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.

He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.

Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.

Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.

Paddy shakes his head and says, ‘And I’m never trying dat parrotshooting either!’

Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.

He’s also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.

Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.

Once more Paddy shakes his head. ‘Feck dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting…. And now Sean and his feck’n hengliding!’

Come on guys, you have to admit that was bloody funny!  :lol_tb:

So much for the Irish daredevils. As for the next joke I have to admit that the reason I included it is because it came with this sexy looking woman. What can I say, I have a thing for sexy women  :devil_tb:

well endowed young lady

WISDOM OF AN OLDER MAN!

An older man approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall.
”Excuse me; I can’t seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”

The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said, ”Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?”

”I have no idea, but every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, she seems to appear out of nowhere.”

Yeah, I know that feeling  :tongue_laugh_ee: Speaking of babes you should read my latest hot sports babes post.

Finally, my funniest video of the week.

The Accomplice

That’s it guys. Have a great weekend and don’t forget to share it with your social media friends.

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Seniors Jokes Friday Funnies #128

As I’m getting older I have to wonder what it’s going to be like in my twilight years. I sort of hope that things are going to be great and that I can actually enjoy the fruits of my hard labor. Sometimes I have to wonder though, especially after posting some of those seniors jokes in my Friday Funnies posts. Like Friday Funnies #111. Or even Friday Funnies #80 about elderly sex.

Even so a lot of those seniors jokes show the world just how smart seniors really are. Like that one seniors jokes about the old bloke who did some quick thinking during a court trial. Or like the seniors joke about the old bloke who knew just what to say when he came across some naked women swimming in his dam. Quite honestly though seniors of today are really very smart. They’re so eager to grasp modern technology and the new language that sometimes entails. Like the latest texting code that the seniors have come with.

Some Funny Seniors Jokes

Seniors humor

Young people have theirs, now seniors have their own texting codes: 

ATD- At the Doctor’s

* BFF - Best Friends Funeral

* BTW- Bring the Wheelchair

* BYOT – Bring Your Own Teeth

* CBM- Covered by Medicare

* CUATSC- See You at the Senior Center

* DWI- Driving While Incontinent

* FWIW – Forgot Where I Was

* GGPBL- Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

* GHA - Got Heartburn Again

* HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement

* LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

* LOL- Living on Lipitor

* OMSG – Oh My! Sorry, Gas

* TOT- Texting on Toilet

* WAITT – Who Am I Talking To?

* GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!)……

Have you ever heard that the sex kind of dries up once you get married. Or at least once you’ve been married for a few years. I think this image of a grumpy old senior explains it best.

funny senior sex

Just to finish off the seniors jokes I’ve just gone and produced another Laughaholics video just for this post.

A Laughaholics Seniors Jokes Moment

I hope you enjoyed todays Friday Funnies. I especially hope you liked my video. If you did please consider sharing it with your friends. The social media buttons are right there beneath the post.  :drunk_tb:

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