The Dumb Irish Theory Friday Funnies #134

The reason I’ve written a lot of Friday Funnies posts about the Irish is because they’re bloody funny. The reason they’re so funny is because they usually depict the Irish as being dumb? The question is, is there anything to this dumb Irish theory? I don’t believe that anybody really believes in the dumb Irish theory. But that doesn’t make these jokes any less funny.

Today I got an Irish joke that probably dispels this dumb Irish theory.

Financial planning by not so dumb Irishman

Paddy bought a camel from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the camel the next day.

In the morning he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The camel died.’

Paddy replied, ‘Well just give me my money back then.’

The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I’ve already spent it.’

Paddy said, ‘OK then, just bring me the dead camel.’

The farmer asked, ‘What are you going to do with him?’

Paddy said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’

The farmer said, ‘You can’t raffle a dead camel!’

Paddy said, ‘Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’

A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, ‘What happened with that dead camel?’

Paddy said, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2 each and made a profit of $898′

The farmer said, ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’

Paddy said, ‘Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $2 back.’

Paddy now works for the Commonwealth Bank.

dumb Irish

And that wraps up another Friday Funnies. Have a great weekend and I’ll see you next week.

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Funny Jewish Jokes Friday Funnies #133

I’ve decided that this weeks Friday Funnies will be about funny Jewish jokes. Before I get to those funny Jewish jokes though I want to mention a new addition to my EZ Sports Betting site. Because of the success of the Sexy Sals jokes I decided to introduce something similar to the sports site. She’s Victoria the Sexy Sports Goddess

Now for our first funny Jewish joke…

Funny Jewish Joke From The Western Wall

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.

So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.

“Pardon me, sir, I’m Rebecca Smith from CNN. What’s your name?”

“Morris Feinberg,” he replied.

“Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?”

“For about 60 years.”

“60 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?”

“I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews, and the Muslims.”

“I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop.”

“I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults and to love their fellow man.”

“I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interests of the people ahead of their own interests.”

And finally “I pray that everyone will be happy”.

“How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?”

“Like I’m talking to a fucking brick wall!”

Funny Jewish Jokes

This next funny Jewish joke is about three religious guys who are trying to work out who has the best conversion technique.

A priest, a preacher and a rabbi meet regularly. All agree that preaching isn’t that hard. A challenge would be to preach to a bear. So they go into the woods, find a bear, preach, and attempt to convert it. Afterwards, they compare notes.

Father Flannery, arm in a sling says, “I read to my bear from the Catechism. Well, that bear was tough. I sprinkled him with holy water, and Sunday he’s taking his first communion.”

Reverend Jones, in a wheelchair says, “I read to the bear from God’s Holy Word! But he wrestled me near a creek. I baptized him. We spent the day praising Jesus.”

They both look at the rabbi in a full body cast. “Oy. Looking back, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.”

That’s it for this week guys. If you haven’t voted in my latest poll about the sexiest sports babe you can do so here.

Continue here…

Male Logic Friday Funnies #132

For this weeks Friday Funnies I thought I would tackle something new. It’s called male logic. I found the following joke about this bloke’s male logic bloody funny.

Woman:
Do you drink beer?

Man:

Yes

Woman:
How many beers a day?

Man:
Usually about 3

Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?

Man:

$5.00 which includes a tip

(This is where it gets scary !)

Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?

Man:
About 20 years, I suppose

Woman:
So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past
20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

Man:
Do you drink beer?

Woman:
No

Man:
Where’s your fucking Ferrari then?

So, what did you think of that bit of male logic? You have to admit he had a very valid point. For our next bit of male logic I give you the most famous bloke to ever spew forth male logic, Al Bundy of Married With Children Fame.

More Male Logic

Male Logic

The following commercial doesn’t really have anything to do with male logic, except for the fact that this is usually something a bloke does, not a woman.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

Before you go and leave a comment, it would be great if you headed over to my latest blog to vote on my poll on Who Is The Hottest Sports Babe. Oh yeah, don’t forget to share this post too :wink_ee:

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