Funny Funeral Moment Friday Funnies #180

I’ve been to a few funerals and I can tell you quite honestly that funerals are not funny. They’re a most solemn moment. Even so, when I got this funeral joke in the email yesterday I couldn’t help but laugh. I hope that you also get a kick out of the following funny funeral moment.

An Italian Funny Funeral Moment

funny funeral momentA Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash.

Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file.

The Jewish man couldn’t stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking  the dog and said: “I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen an Italian funeral like this Whose funeral is it?”

“My wife’s.”

”What happened to her?”

“She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her.”

He inquired further, “But who is in the second hearse?”

My mother-in-law. She came to help my wife and the dog turned on her and killed her also.

A very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood and silence passed between the two men..

The Jewish man then asked “Can I borrow the dog?”

The Italian man replied, “Get in the line.”

Talking about funerals, hears an interesting way to promote cremation!

funny Funeral moment2

When all else fails huh?  :tongue_laugh_ee:

The next funny funeral moment is about planning a funeral  :smoke_tb:

funny funeral moment 3

Created with the Logo Creator

Naturally if you’re looking for more laughs you should check out my funny sports jokes.

Naturally, if you got a kick out of this weeks Friday Funnies it would be great if you could share it on your favourite social media!

As always, have a great and safe weekend!

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Funniest Blonde Jokes Friday Funnies #179

It’s been quite some time since I’ve featured some blonde jokes for Friday Funnies. That’s why this weeks Friday Funnies has some of the funniest blonde jokes that I could find.

The first of the funniest blonde jokes is about a blonde driver who drives, like a blonde ;)

Collection Of Funniest Blonde Jokes

A blonde has just picked up her new Ferrari. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does.

The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up the Ferrari’s leather seats. He turns around and sees her smiling. This infuriates him so he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and giving the Ferrari a new panel beating job. He looks back only to see that the blonde laughing.

He’s really pissed now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she’s laughing so hard, she’s about to fall down. He demands, “What’s so funny?” She says, “Every time you weren’t looking, I I was jumping in and out of the circle!”  :lol_ee:

We haven’t seen Sexy Sal for awhile so I figured it was time for her to earn her keep. So, for your pleasure she’s come up with some of her funniest blonde jokes.

sexy sals funniest blonde jokes

The next in the funniest blonde jokes is about a blonde and her boyfriend.

A blonde and her boyfriend are out on a date, where they go to see a movie. Her boyfriend gets up to go to the snack bar and asks her what she wants. She asks him to please get her a bag of M&Ms. He brings her the bag and she proceeds to throw all the brown colored candies onto the floor. Wondering why, her boyfriend asks her, “honey, why are you throwing away all the brown ones?”

Without skipping a beat the blonde places a hand on his shoulder and says, “oh, honey. You know I don’t like chocolate!”

Now for Sexy Sals second funniest blonde jokes.

sexy sals funniest blonde jokes2

Our final funniest blonde jokes once again takes place at the cinema.

A biggish bloke was sitting in an aisle because it felt roomier than the other ones. The feature was just about to start when a blonde from the centre of the row gets up and starts working her way out.

“Excuse me, pardon me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.” By the time she got to the biggish bloke at the end of the row, while blocking his view and obvilously frustrated he said, “Couldn’t you have done this before?”

“No!” says the blonde in a loud whisper. “They just flashed the ‘TURN OFF YOUR MOBILE PHONE PLEASE’ message on the screen and mine is in the car.”  :lol_tb:

And so ends another Friday Funnies. I hope you liked my collection of funniest blonde jokes enough to share it with your friends.  :drunk_tb:

Want more jokes? Check out some of my really funny sports jokes.

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Funny Irish Joke Friday Funnies #178

As Friday Funnies approaches once again I’ve decided to give you guys another funny Irish joke. Some may ask why another funny Irish joke and the answer is obvious. People love funny Irish jokes. In fact, some of the funny Irish jokes already posted on this blog are the most visited jokes in the Friday Funnies series.

A word of warning though, the following funny Irish joke is of a sexual nature.  :devil_tb:

Another Funny Irish Joke

A little Irishman gets into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him. He looks down and says: 

“7 ft tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown”

The little Irishman faints dead away and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him……The big guy says, “What’s wrong with you?”
In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you just say to me?”

The big dude says, “Well, I saw your curious look and I figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I’m 7 ft tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown”
The Irishman says,“Turner Brown?!….Sweet Jesus….I thought you said, “Turn around!”You see, that’s why people love funny Irish jokes although I have to admit that this one doesn’t really make fun of the Irish  :innocent1_tb:

I’ve put together a couple of funny Irish joke images for you.

Funny Irish Joke

Before I show you the next image here is another funny Irish joke.

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?”

The man said, “I do Father.”

The priest said, “Then stand over there against the wall.” Then the priest asked the second man, “Do you want to go to heaven?”

“Certainly, Father,” was the man’s reply.

“Then stand over there against the wall,” said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O’Toole and said, “Do you want to go to heaven?”

O’Toole said, “No, I don’t Father.

The priest said, “I don’t believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don’t want to go to heaven?”

O’Toole said, “Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go on a trip right now.”

Another funny Irish Joke

And so ends another Friday Funnies. Sure hope you enjoyed my funny Irish jokes enough to share it with your favourite social media site  :drunk_tb:

Of course, if you’re looking for more jokes you can always head on over and read my funny sports jokes.

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