Smart Parrot Jokes

For today's Friday Funnies, I've put together a small collection of funny parrot jokes. As I've already used the 'parrot jokes' keyword phrase in a previous post I thought I'd get around that by using smart parrot jokes for this post. Smart Parrot Jokes #1 A burglar was busily stealing jewellery and valuables from a house, when a parrot on a perch behind him says, "Jesus is watching you."  The thief takes no notice and continues his stealing. The parrot repeats, " Jesus  is watching you."      The thief becomes annoyed and snaps at the parrot, "Who do you think you are ?"     The parrot says " Moses!"      "That's a funny name for a parrot !"      The parrot replies, "Not half as funny as a Rottweiler dog named "Jesus !" Smart Parrot Jokes #2 A man goes into a pet shop with the intention of buying a parrot. After a brief conversation the shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, "The parrot on the left costs $500."  "Bullshit," says the man! "Why does that parrot cost so much?" To which the owner replies, "Well, that parrot knows how to do legal research." The customer, astounded, then asks about the next parrot. To his surprise, he learned that the second parrot would set him back $1,000! The reason he was given was that it could do everything the other parrot could do as well as being able to write a brief that could win any case. When he…

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Parrot Jokes Friday Funnies #290

For todays Friday Funnies I have two parrot jokes. The first of the parrot jokes is the clean version which I got in an email today. Parrot Jokes - Curing parrot Of Filth Language A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.  Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.  John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.  Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.  Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.  Fearing that he'd killed the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made…

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