An Irish Miracle Friday Funnies #139

Yep, it’s time for this weeks Friday Funnies. Once again it’s going to be a really funny Irish joke. It wasn’t quite what I expected in a joke, but it’s funny all the same. This one is all about an Irish miracle.

Murphy’s Irish Miracle

Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up. He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it’s a law of nature of the universe that buttered toast always falls butter-down. So he rushes round to the presbytery to fetch Father Flanagan.

He tells the priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen. But he won’t say what it is, so he asks Fr. Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes.

He leads Fr. Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor.

“Well,” says the priest, “it’s pretty obvious. Someone has dropped some buttered toast on the  floor and then, for some reason, they flipped it over so that the butter was on top.”

“No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!” exclaimed Murphy

“Oh my Lord,” says Fr. Flanagan, “dropped toast never falls with the butter side up. It’s a miracle. But wait… it’s not for me to say it’s a miracle. I’ll have to report  this matter to the Bishop and he’ll have to deal with it. He’ll send some people round to interview you, take photos, etc.”

A thorough investigation is conducted, not only by the archdiocese but by scientists sent over from the Curia in Rome. No expense is spared.

There is great excitement in the town as  Everyone knows that a miracle will bring in much need tourism revenue.

Then, after 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling.

“It is certain that some kind of an extraordinary event took place  in Murphy’s kitchen, quite outside the natural laws of the universe. Yet  the Holy See must be very cautious before ruling a miracle.  All other explanations must be ruled out. Unfortunately, in this case, it has been declared ‘No Miracle’ because they think that Murphy may have buttered the toast on the wrong side!”

Irish Miracle

Don’t forget to share…… :drunk_tb:

 

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Old Age Humour Friday Funnies #138

I think its time for some more Old Age Humour for this weeks Friday Funnies.

Old Age Humour #1

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.”
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: “Then you used to kiss me.”

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: “Then you used to bite my Neck.”

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

“To get my teeth!”

Old Age humour

Old Age Humour #2

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds
Her clenched fist in the air and announces, “Anyone who can guess what’s in
My hand can have sex with me tonight!”

An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, “An elephant?”

Bessie thinks a minute and says, “Close enough.”

Old age humour1

Old Age Humour #3

As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him, “Vernon, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on M25. Please be careful!”

“Hell,” said Vernon, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”

Old age humour2

While the following video has nothing to do with old age humour it does have other stuff in it that screamed at me to include it in this weeks Friday Funnies. That’s sexy women and the fact that it’s bloody funny. I especially loved the second prank.

Which part of the video did you like the best?

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About Peter Pelliccia"