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Testicle Jokes Friday Funnnies #326

Testicle jokes? Really, I’m doing a Friday Funnies about testicle jokes? I figure why not, as long as my testicle jokes make you laugh, right? Right!

A Hospital Testicle Jokes

Strangely enough, this first joke about testicles takes place in a hospital.

Hank is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

“Nurse,” he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”

He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. I’m very concerned – are my testicles black?”

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, gently holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles tenderly in the other. She looks very carefully and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, sir. They look fine.”

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen to me very, very closely: “Are – my – test – results – back?”

testicle jokes

Created with the Creator!

This isn’t the first joke I’ve included in Friday Funnies either. I did one way back in 2015, and you can read it here.

Strangely enough, there’s also a Little Johnny joke about testicles.

One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.

Not entirely sure what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.

Little Johnny’s eyes opened wide in amazement. “You know,” he said, “I’m not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!”

Don’t forget to check out my funny Laughaholics videos for a lot more laughs.

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Suicide Jokes Friday Funnies #325

While suicide itself is an awful subject, one that is usually depressing, it doesn’t stop people from trying to write suicide jokes. I’ve come across two suicide jokes that I find pretty funny.

Suicide Jokes #1 Sailing To Italy

A young Sydney woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the harbour. Just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.

“You have so much to live for,” said the man. “I’m a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I’ll take care of you, bring you food every day and keep you happy.”

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy, the woman accepted.

That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine and make love to her until dawn.

Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.

“What are you doing here?” asked the captain.

“I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,” she replied. “He brings me food, and I get a free trip to Italy .”

“I see,” the captain said.

Her conscience got the best of her, and she added, “Plus, he’s screwing me.”

“He certainly is,” replied the captain.  “This is the Manly Ferry.”

Suicide Jokes #2 Aussie Suicide Counselling

suicide jokesThere is a desperate-looking woman who stood poised on the edge of a high cliff about to jump off.

Along comes this filthy tramp who just happens to be wandering by. He stops and says, “Look since you’ll be dead in a few minutes, and it won’t matter to you, how about a little sex before you go?”

She screamed, “NO! Bug off you filthy old bastard!”

He shrugs and turns away saying,”Okay, I’ll just go and wait at the bottom.”

The woman decides not to jump after all.

Don’t forget, you’ll get heaps more laughs reading the rest of my Friday Funnies. Or you could watch my funny Laughaholics videos.

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Funny Toons Friday Funnies #324

Todays Friday funnies is different from the norm in that it features a whole lot of funny toons. The creator of this funny toons is Sunil Agarwal and Ajit Ninan. If you guys are out there and would like me to link to your website just drop me a line and I’ll be more than happy to link to you guys. Love your funny toons to bits.

Sunil Agarwal and Ajit Ninan Funny Toons

Funny Toons Funny ToonsFunny Toons Funny Toons Funny Toons Funny Toons Funny Toons Funny Toons Funny Toons

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Bar Jokes Friday Funnies #323

For today’s Friday Funnies, I have a couple of bar Jokes. The first if my bar jokes is one of Sexy Sal’s blonde jokes but because it takes place in a bar I reckon it passes as one of my bar jokes.

Sexy Sal’s Blonde Bar Jokes

bar jokes Sexy Sal bar jokes

4 Men In A Bar Joke

Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, “Old Timers Bar – ALL drinks 10 cents.” They look at each
other, and then go in, thinking, ‘This is too good to be true.’

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, “Come on in and let me pour one for you! What will It be, gentlemen?”

There’s a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini. In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis – shaken, not stirred – and says, “That’ll be 10
cents each, please.”

The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can’t believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.
Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying, “That’s 40 cents, please.” They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them.
They’ve each had two martinis and haven’t even spent a dollar yet.

Finally one of them says, “How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?”

“I’m a retired tailor from Phoenix,” the bartender says, “and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the lottery jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this
place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer – it’s all the same”

“Wow! That’s some story!” one of the men says. As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can’t help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don’t have any drinks in front of them and haven’t ordered anything the whole time they’ve been there. Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the bartender, “What’s with them?”

The bartender says, “They’re retirees from Australia. They’re waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price.”

That’s it, guys. Hope you enjoyed this week’s Friday Funnies! Don’t forget to check out some of my other hilarious Friday Funnies. You’ll also get heaps of laughs watching some of my really funny videos.

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