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The Mystery Box That Stumped Hillary Clinton

When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, “I put a box under the bed. Promise me you will never look in it.”

All their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In it were 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash.

She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why there was such a box and with those contents.

That evening, they were out for a special anniversary dinner. After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, “I’m so sorry, Bill. For all these years, I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, why do you keep the 3 beer cans in the box?”

Bill thought for a while and said, “I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again.”

Hillary was shocked, but thought, “Hmmm, Jennifer, Paula and Monica. And since I know he’s addicted to sex, three times is not too bad.” She said, “OK Bill, I guess I can forgive you.

Bill thanked her for being so understanding. They hugged and made their peace.”

A little while later Hillary asked Bill, “So why do you have all that money in the box?”

He answered, “Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling centre.”

All jokes aside I’m rooting for Hillary to win the Presidency because I think it would be a real joke if Trump won not to mention an utter catastrophe.

On a brighter note, what one little girl said when asked what her father did.  :lol_tb:

Wassup Friday Funnies

 

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Old Geezer Joke


I’ve done a few old geezer jokes, although I didn’t refer to them as old geezer jokes. Nope, I was more respectful and referred to them as elderly or something. For the purpose of this post they’re old geezer joke just in case someone searches for ‘Old Geezer joke’. :wink_ee:

Medical Old Geezer Joke

old geezer jokeA local G.P., now an old geezer, became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said:

“Dr. Geezer’s clinic.
Get your treatment for £500, if not cured, get back £1,000.”

Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get £1,000. So he went to Dr.Geezer’s clinic.

Dr. Young: “Dr.Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?”

Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young’s mouth.”

Dr. Young: Aaagh! — “This is Gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be £500.”

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”

Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”

Dr. Young: “Oh, no you don’t, – that is Gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be £500.”

Dr. Young (after having lost £1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak – I can hardly see anything!

Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that so here’s your £1000 back..” (giving him a £10 note)”

Dr. Young: “But this is only £10!

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be £500.”

Moral of story – Just because you’re “Young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an “old Geezer”!

Don’t try it on with old people!

We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off.

That’s something that is common in all my old geezer jokes, these geezers have lived a long time and learned a lot of shit, so don’t piss them off  :peace_bro:

Want more jokes, visit my funny sports jokes.

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Funny Technology Moments

Funny Technology Moments That Make You Smile

Don’t you just love people with a sense of humour? I sure do. Like those guys that have nothing better to do than to create these funny technology moments images. I got these funny technology moments images in an email titled “Life In 2016” What makes these images so funny is that most of us can actually relate to them. Then again maybe that should make us a little sad?  :ponder:

ATT0001212 Funny Technology 2 Funny Technology 3 Funny Technology 4 Funny Technology 5 Funny Technology 6 Funny Technology 7 Funny Technology 8 Funny Technology 9 Funny Technology 10I love these images and I wanted to add one of my own, something I put together using The Creator, my favourite bit of software.

Funny Technology Social Media

Yep, we live in a marvellous world, a world where technology has taken us to places that would never have been dreamed of years ago. Stuff like cheap smart watches for example. A lot of the remarkable stuff we have is because of programmers. They must really be pretty smart as the following story proves…

A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.

After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.

The grandmother is thinking to herself, “It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I’m glad she slapped him.”

The Project manager is sitting there thinking, “I didn’t know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn’t missed him when she slapped me!”

The young woman was sitting and thinking, “I’m glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!”

The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, “Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!”

And so ends another Friday Funnies. Sure hope you got a kick out of it. Perhaps you enjoyed it so much you’d like to share it on FaceBook or something? Heck, you might even want to tell some passerby.  :drunk_tb:

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About Peter Pelliccia"