Retirement Humour Learning Chinese

For today’s Friday funnies I’m going to visit a little bit of retirement humour. After I read the joke, not only did I have a good laugh, I also came to realise that retirees are pretty smart. It’s not surprising then that this couple came up with the following bit of retirement humour.

Retirement Humour

Working people frequently ask us retired folk what we do to pass our days. Well, for example, just the other day, Angie and I went into Solihull to do some shopping. When we came out, there was a parking meter attendant writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and I said, ‘Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?’ He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I told him he was a big ugly waste of space.

He just glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tyres. Angie then joined in and called him an a–hole.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield then started writing another ticket.This one for no tax disc on display.

This went on for about 10 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Just then our bus arrived, so we got on it and went home.  We try to have a little fun each day now that we’re retired.

Retirement Humour

Learning Chinese

Have you ever wanted to learn how to speak Chinese? You have? But you’ve never done it because learning Chinese looks really hard? Well, it’s you’re lucky day because I’ve discovered a really easy way to learn Chinese. Just study the image below. It has English on the left with the Chinese translation on the right. Just make sure you sound out the Chinese translation in order to absorb the lesson properly.

learning chinese

To finish off I’ve found a really funny video. Have you ever been in a situation where the person next to you fall asleep and leans on you? Perhaps in a plane, train or bus? Well this sexy blondes does an excellent job of falling asleep on a range of victims.  :lol_tb:

Did you like this weeks Friday Funnies? Don’t forget to share it with your friends.

Want some more jokes? Head on over for some really funny sports humour.

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Update on One Click Video Ranker

A while back I wrote a post about a new plugin I’m trialling on my Online Sports Betting site. That post was called How To Get Google To Send You More Traffic. That plugin is the One Click Video Ranker plugin. The reason I bought the plugin was because it was supposed to generate all this extra traffic. Apparently I didn’t even have to write any extra posts either. I just had to have videos existing within my posts and the One Click Video Ranker would do the rest.

Make 10 times your investment back within 60 days, or get a full refund. No questions asked.

Why am I making this offer? Because I know you will LOVE it, and come back for more. You can be downloading the plugin and bonuses in less than 30 seconds from now.

I wrote that post on July 9th so it’s only been about 6 weeks. So far there hasn’t been much of a traffic increase. The One Click Video Ranker has brought a few visits but it certainly hasn’t created any revenue. I didn’t think it would though. Bring any revenue I mean. I always thought that was a silly promise to make because even if it increased the traffic tenfold there’s absolutely no way that would increase your revenue by that amount.

I’m not at all fussed about the revenue side of it though. Like I said I never believed that the statement would prove to be true. I believe I mentioned in that post that even if I didn’t “Make 10 times your investment back within 60 days” I wasn’t going to ask for my money back because I liked what the One Click Video Ranker provided for me. A greater SEO ability to improve my sites ranking. I also discovered something else about the One Click Video Ranker.

We all know how Google dislikes broken links. I think its safe to say that your visitors detest broken links even more because they don’t like being directed to sites that no longer exist. I believe the same to be true when it comes to videos. How many videos do you have on your blog that no longer exist or work? How would you know without physically checking every post that had a video in it?

One Click Video Ranker Finds Broken Video

Yep, and I don’t even think that the developer knows the One Click Video Ranker has that added feature. If he does I don’t think he’s promoting it. I only discovered it today when I was checking the Sports Betting Video Sitemap.

One Click Video Ranker

The above screen capture shows there seems to be a problem with two of my videos. After checking the first video got this error message.

Screen Shot 2014-08-25 at 3.57.31 pm

The second video simply said This video does not exist! Because of the 1-click Video ranker plugin I was able to easily find those nasty ‘broken video’ so I could resolve what could have been an annoying problem for my readers.

 

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Yep, it’s Friday Funnies time again and I have a real treat for you guys. We’ll start with the ever favourite Irish Joke. This one is about a bunch of Irish Daredevils!

The Irish Daredevils

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, ‘Dat’s dem.’

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

‘Yeah, we’ll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,’ says Gerry..

The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.

Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry’s truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass..

At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, ‘Dis looks like a grand place..’

He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.

Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, ‘Feck dat.
Dis budgie jumping is too feck’n dangerous for me!’.

Irish daredevils

Moment’s later; Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass.

He’s been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other..

‘Hi, Paddy, watch dis,’ Seamus says.

He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.

He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.

Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.

Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.

Paddy shakes his head and says, ‘And I’m never trying dat parrotshooting either!’

Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.

He’s also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.

Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.

Once more Paddy shakes his head. ‘Feck dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting…. And now Sean and his feck’n hengliding!’

Come on guys, you have to admit that was bloody funny!  :lol_tb:

So much for the Irish daredevils. As for the next joke I have to admit that the reason I included it is because it came with this sexy looking woman. What can I say, I have a thing for sexy women  :devil_tb:

well endowed young lady

WISDOM OF AN OLDER MAN!

An older man approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall.
”Excuse me; I can’t seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”

The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said, ”Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?”

”I have no idea, but every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, she seems to appear out of nowhere.”

Yeah, I know that feeling  :tongue_laugh_ee: Speaking of babes you should read my latest hot sports babes post.

Finally, my funniest video of the week.

The Accomplice

That’s it guys. Have a great weekend and don’t forget to share it with your social media friends.

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