Jokes With God In It


Funny Jokes With God In It

It’s Friday and you know what that means don’t you? Yep, its Friday Funnies time. Today’s Friday Funnies has several jokes with God in it. The first of the jokes with God in is is about a near death experience.

A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God She asked “Is my time up”?
God said, “No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.”

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a
face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.

She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While
crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had
another 33 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance”?

God replied: ! I didn’t recognise you!!!!!”

I made the next couple of funny jokes with God in it using The Creator.

Jokes With God In It

more Jokes with God in it

The next of our jokes with God in it is an oldie but a goodie. :wink:

There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn’t swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, “Do you need help, sir?”

The preacher calmly said “No, God will save me.”

A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, “Hey, do you need help?”

The preacher replied again, “No God will save me.”

Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, “Why didn’t you save me?”

God replied, “Fool, I sent you two boats!”

Just goes to show that God is always around to help us, sometimes we’re just too stupid to see when he’s holding out his hand.

Hope you liked this weeks Friday Funnies. Don’t forget where you can find some really funny sports jokes.

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2016
Share the joy
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

Video Online Marketing Tool


This post is going to cover two topics, both of which have a lot to do with the importance of video in todays online marketing. I have quite a few videos on YouTube but only a very few have actually been used as a marketing tool.

My latest YouTube video is about my brand new smartwatch. It shows people how good this watch really is.

WTC L38 Smartwatch

I was going to write a review on this blog but I didn’t see the point now that I’ve written an extensive review on my Sports Betting blog. I called it WTC L38 Smartwatch Review :wink_ee:

Click HERE if you want to skip the review and just want to check out this remarkable smartwatch.

Now we get to the second, and most important, part of this post, marketing and the importance of this Video Online Marketing Tool.

Video Online Marketing Tool Facts

Just about everyone is talking about video marketing these days. The only problem its so hard to find out what you need to do to get RESULTS…

I’ve just come across this awesome YouTube SEO Cheat Sheet that’s jam packed with a ton of simple and actionable tricks you can implement immediately to boost your rankings with video…

And the best part is it’s TOTALLY FREE….

If you want to drive traffic with video, this YouTube SEO Cheat Sheet can really help you out…

You can get it here

Specifically it reveals:

  • A Proven formula for writing video titles that get clicks.
  • The 3 tags your video must have to maximize video traffic potential.
  • The single biggest factor that impacts video rankings, and how to nail it by “opening a loop” at the start of each video.
  • 7 simple tricks for generating natural inbound links.
  • 3 “psychological video triggers” that put people in a trance-like state glued to your video till the very end – and why this is essential for earning stable rankings…
  • And Heaps More…

DOWNLOAD your Video SEO Cheat Sheet Here (For FREE)

Just so you know this free video cheat sheet has been put together by the guys at Market Samurai and you know how knowledgeable they are.

In case you’re thinking to yourself that you have no idea how to put a great marketing video together. They’ve thought about that too. It’s called Content Samurai!

Video Online Marketing Tool Create Awesome Videos in Minutes!

With Content Samurai you don’t need expensive video creating software.

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2016
Share the joy
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

Friday Funnies #214 Funny Photos/Images

I thought for todays Friday Funnies I’d just post a heap of funny photos.

Funny Photos To Make You Laugh

The first of our funny photos series is actually banned on Facebook. It took place after Kylie accepted a stuffed bear at one of her concerts.

funny photos kylie

I reckon you’ll get a kick out of the next funny photo.
Friday Funny funny photos

The next in our funny photos series displays a bit of ‘naughty’ Aussie humour  :devil_tb:

friday funnies funny photos

Friday Funny funny photos1

funny photos ebay

funny photos mouse

Images aside I need to keep the word count up to keep Google happy. They tell me Google likes at least 300 words and so for SEO reasons I’m including a joke to keep that word count up :wink:

There is a medical distinction between “Guts” and “Balls”. We’ve heard colleagues referring to people with “Guts”, or with “Balls”. Do they, however, know the difference between them?

Here’s the official distinction; straight from the British Medical Journal: Volume 323; page 295.

GUTS – Is arriving home late, after a night out with the lads, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the “Guts” to ask: “Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?”

BALLS – Is coming home late after a night out with the lads, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the bum and having the “Balls” to say: ‘You’re next, Chubby.’

I trust this clears up any confusion. Medically speaking, there is no difference in outcome; both are fatal.

To finish off I have a little Irish joke that I know you will love.

The judge says to a double-homicide defendant…

“You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.”

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “You bastard!”

The judge says, “You’re also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer.”

The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, “You rotten bastard!”

The judge stops and says to Paddy in the back of the courtroom. “Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no more outbursts from you, or I’ll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?”

Paddy stands up and says, “I’m sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years I’ve lived next door to that arsehole, and every time I’ve asked to borrow a hammer, he’s said he didn’t have one.”  :lol_tb:  

Don’t forget there are lots of great sports jokes at my funny sports jokes category

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2016
Share the joy
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

About Peter Pelliccia"