Husband Store vs Wife Store Friday Funny #292


Ever heard of a husband store? Could a husband store ever eventuate, a store where women can buy a husband? If someone was going to open a husband store, what sore of criteria would women be looking for? The following story is a sample of just what you might find in a husband store.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in NewYork City, where a woman may go to choose a husband storehusband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘But I want more.’ So she continues upward.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay but, she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor #31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives Store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex, have their own money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

I don’t think anyone would ever argue that there is a vast difference between men and women. That’s probably why the book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus book was so popular. That’s probably also why there are a lot of humorous stories about men and women. Just like the one above.  :cool:

Why not check out some of my other Friday Funnies?

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Funny Nun Jokes Friday Funnies #278


I don’t know why but people love nun jokes. Perhaps the reason for nun jokes being so popular is because they love making fun of women wearing a habit. I’ve featured nun jokes in the past, the first one being back in 2012 and it was about a nun in the airport.

Friday Funnies #58 shows us just what an angry nun is capable of.

Devoted Funny Nun Jokes

Todays funny nun jokes just goes to show exactly how far a devoted nun is willing to go.

Have you ever wondered what sort of life some of the more devoted Nuns lived? Well, I’m not sure if this will answer those questions, but it sure is funny.

Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest said, “Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so.”

Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her, “Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You can speak two words.”

Sister Mary Katherine said, “Hard bed.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” the Priest said, “We will get you a better bed.”

After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Priest.
“You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine.”

“Cold food,” said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future.

On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine into his office. “You may say two words today.”

“I quit,” said Sister Mary Katherine.

“It’s probably best”, said the Priest, “You’ve done nothing but bitch since you got here.”‘

Lastly I have a funny nun jokes image that I put together with the aid of The Creator.

funny nun jokes Friday Funnies

I hope you’ve enjoyed this weeks Friday Funnies and that you share it with all your friends.

Remember, where to find some really funny sports jokes.

 

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Fireman Sex Joke Friday Funnies #275


Today’s Friday Funnies begins with an email I got today entitled Fireman Sex. I’ve written the Fireman Sex joke as close as possible complete with images because I thought the fireman sex images made the joke.

If you’re wondering why I’m using the words ‘fireman sex so often it’s all to do with SEO. The images also have a ‘fireman sex tag and to top it all off I need to include it in th
Fireman sex joke

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, “You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we’re on the fire truck ready to go.

Fireman sex truck

“From now on when I say BELL 1

I want you to strip naked.

When I say BELL 2

I want you to jump in bed.

And when I say BELL 3

We are going to make love all night.
“The next night he came home from work and yelled

” BELL 1!” The wife promptly took all her clothes off.

naked woman

When he yelled “BELL 2!”, the wife jumped into bed.

When he yelled ” BELL 3!”, they began making love.

After a few minutes the wife yelled “BELL 4!”

“What the hell is BELL 4?” asked the husband?

naked fireman

“ROLL OUT MORE HOSE,” she replied “YOU’RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE.”
lauging mouse

To all you teetotalers out there did you know that drinking tea is more dangerous than drinking beer? This guy has proof! Here is what he has to say.

I got this other email that was full of saying that are found on signs all over the world. I don’t know how accurate they are but some of them are pretty funny. Here’s a sign that was found inside a Bangkok dry cleaner.

This of course is the perfect lead up to the following really funny video about a couple taking their clothes off in a laundromat.


That’s it for this weeks Friday Funnies #272. That’s a hell of a lot of Friday Funnies :wink_ee:

If you’re new to Friday Funnies why not tickle your funny bone with more Friday Funnies. Other than that check out these hilarious sports jokes.

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