Parrot Jokes That Make You Laugh

For today’s Friday Funnies, I have two parrot jokes. The first of the parrot jokes is the clean version which I got in an email today.

Parrot Jokes – Curing parrot Of Filthy Language

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary. 

parrot jokes
Created with The Creator

Finally fed up, John yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot, and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes, the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. There wasn’t a peep from the parrot for over a minute. 

Fearing that he’d killed the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions, and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

He was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird spoke-up, very softly,

“May I ask what the turkey did?”

The second of the parrot jokes was from back in my high school days, and it went something like this.

Parrot Jokes – The Spying Parrot

A man was sure that his wife was cheating on him and because this was before the days of hidden wireless cameras, he went to a pet shop and asked the owner if he had any brilliant parrots. After explaining why he wanted such a parrot, the pet shop owner showed him this parrot with no legs.

The man said, “Come off it, man. That parrot is next to useless. How is he going to see what is going on if he can’t sit on the perch?

The pet shop owner explains the parrot would hang on by his penis. Reluctantly the bloke buys the parrot, explains what the parrot has to do and places him in a spot where he could see both the front door and the bedroom.

The next day after his wife goes shopping he goes up to the parrot and asks him what went on.

Parrot: “Well, the doorbell rang, and when your wife answered the door, she let this man in. She then threw herself into his arms.”

Man: “Yeah, then what happened?’

Parrot: “Well, there was all this passionate kissing, and your wife put her hand down his pants.”

Bloke: “Yeah, yeah, then what happened?”

Parrot: “First she rips off his shirt, and then he pulls off her t-shirt and her perfectly formed firm breasts popped out!”

Man: “Shit, don’t stop now, then what happened?”

Parrot: “I don’t know, man, that’s when I cracked a stack and fell off the perch!

Finally, my last of the parrot jokes is one I put together using the Creator.

You May Find The Following Of Interest

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funny Indian Joke video. I’m especially proud of that joke. There are also two more funny parrot jokes, the Horny Parrot Joke and more hilarious parrot humour.

While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest video Luminar 4 Review which show just how easy it is to replace a dreary sky for a dramatic one in your photos.

Continue Reading Parrot Jokes That Make You Laugh

Irish Daredevils & Older Man Wisdom

Yep, it’s Friday Funnies time again, and I have a real treat for you guys. We’ll start with the ever favourite Irish joke. This one is about a bunch of Irish Daredevils!

The Irish Daredevils

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section, and Gerry says to Paddy, ‘Dat’s dem.’

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

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Donald Trump Jokes

Hopefully, today’s Donald Trump jokes won’t offend my American friends. It’s not like I’ve made these jokes up myself you know, I get them in emails which I store for just such an occasion. Besides, Trump only has himself to blame. I reckon he should spend less time on Twitter and more time looking after the States.

Donald Trump Jokes To Make You LOL

During a dull White House Dinner, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with Governor of New York Andrew Cuomo,

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Busybody Joke

I reckon just about everybody would disapprove of your everyday busybody. The thing is, what do you do with an annoying busybody. The following busybody joke is a pretty good example of how to take care of your neighbourhood busybody.

Mildred A Busybody Joke

Mildred, the church busybody, self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose in everybody else’s business. Although members of the congregation disapproved of her extra-curricular affairs, they didn’t know what to do about it. They were also afraid to say anything to her or to interfere.

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DEA Friday Funnies

Hey Guys, welcome to this week’s Friday Funnies. When I first started this series, I never thought that it would last this long. For today’s Friday Funnies post I’m going to introduce you to what some may consider the arrogance of authority. The following excerpt refers to an arrogant DEA (Drug Enforcement Administration) agent.

The Arrogant DEA Official

DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas to talk with an old rancher. He walks up to the rancher and says “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.”

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Scottish Jokes Friday Funnies Special

Friday Funnies has featured a lot of Irish jokes but only three Scottish ones. The first Scottish joke appeared in Friday Funnies #8 and was about a pretty lodger who was not able to grow any pubic hair.   :devil_tb:  

Friday Funnies #11 featured the second Scottish joke. This one was about a Scottish woman who learned a little trick which stopped her getting beaten up by her husband.

Then the third and final Scottish joke raised its kilt in  :wink:  Friday Funnies #21. This time the Scot featured in a video was having problems with Siri. That one was really funny. 

Best Ever Scottish Jokes

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Stuff That Makes You Laugh

Friday Funnies is all about stuff that makes you laugh. Hopefully, this weeks stuff that makes you laugh is so funny you will want to share it with all your friends. Simply, click on one of the social icons over there on your left.

Stuff That Makes You Laugh Images

OK, now for a hilarious joke about group therapy.

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with five young mothers & their small children.

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How Not To Get Hit By A Drunk Husband

As Friday rolls around once again it means so many things to so many people but to those of you who come to this blog every week on a Friday, it means one thing. That’s right, it’s Fridays Funnies time and today is the eleventh in the series. I’m happy to say that even though it started off a little slow it seems to be picking up momentum and that is confirmed by a lot of the emails I’ve been getting. Having said that I’m left wondering why some people say they loved the joke so much that they’re going to share it with their friends but then they forget to Tweet it or even to FaceBook Like it.  :dont_know:

But you’re not here to listen to me winge and complain. Nope! You’re here to be entertained, especially because it’s Fridays Funnies Time.

The Smartest Man At The Wedding

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