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Funny Irish Friday Funnies #340

Oh, the Funny Irish.  :tongue_laugh_ee: I don’t know what it is about the Irish that folk continually make fun of them. I’m sure the Irish themselves don’t always appreciate all the so-called funny Irish jokes?  :hairout_tb:  

Nevertheless, there’s a sleuth of funny Irish jokes out there with more appearing all the time. Take the following funny Irish joke I got in an email today.

Mick & Paddy Funny Irish Altercation

Mick: I’ve been going to Night Classes every night for 5 months now.
Paddy: Oh!
Mick:  For example, do you know who Alexander Graham Bell is?
Paddy:  No
Mick:  He’s the inventor of the phone in 1876;
If you took night classes you’d know this.

The  next day:

Mick:  Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
Paddy:  No
Mick:  He’s the author of “The 3 Musketeers”.
If you took night classes, you’d know this.

The next day….once  again:

Mick:  And do you know who Jean-Jacques Rousseau is?
Paddy:  No
Mick:  He’s the author of “The Confessions”
If you took night classes, you’d know this.

This  time, Paddy got irritated and said:
And you Mick … Do you know who Sean Reilly is?
Mick:  No.
Paddy:  He’s the fellow who’s bonking your wife?
If you stopped going to night classes, you’d know this!

Funny Irish

Before I go, I’m going to show you my latest YouTube video, about the Funniest Top 10 babies and toddlers video.

This is my first attempt at producing a funny babies video so I really hope you’ll get a kick out of it. If you haven’t already, I’d be stoked if you would do me the honour of subscribing to my Bonzer Channel.

If you’re looking for some laughs, then you check out some of my hilarious jokes.

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Testicle Jokes Friday Funnnies #326

Testicle jokes? Really, I’m doing a Friday Funnies about testicle jokes? I figure why not, as long as my testicle jokes make you laugh, right? Right!

A Hospital Testicle Jokes

Strangely enough, this first joke about testicles takes place in a hospital.

Hank is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

“Nurse,” he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”

He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. I’m very concerned – are my testicles black?”

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, gently holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles tenderly in the other. She looks very carefully and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, sir. They look fine.”

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen to me very, very closely: “Are – my – test – results – back?”

testicle jokes

Created with the Creator!

This isn’t the first joke I’ve included in Friday Funnies either. I did one way back in 2015, and you can read it here.

Strangely enough, there’s also a Little Johnny joke about testicles.

One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.

Not entirely sure what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.

Little Johnny’s eyes opened wide in amazement. “You know,” he said, “I’m not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!”

Don’t forget to check out my funny Laughaholics videos for a lot more laughs.

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Senior Citizen Jokes Friday Funnies #313

Friday Funnies has a lot of senior citizen jokes because they either do funny stuff or they use their wit to belittle the young whippersnappers of the day. One such senior citizen joke was called Senior Jokes over a year ago. I thought it was about time I came up with some more senior citizen jokes.

Senior Citizen Jokes And Technology

This young bloke attending a recent football game took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. ‘You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one, ‘the young bloke said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. ‘The young people of today are much more advanced than people your age. We grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, a man walking on the moon and the internet. We have cell phones, nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers, automated manufacturing, amazing. Technologies, …and,’ paused to take another drink of beer.

The senior took advantage of the break in his litany and said, ‘You’re right, son. We didn’t have those things when we were young Which is why we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shit, what are YOU doing for the next generation?’

The applause was resounding… I love senior citizens.

Senior citizen jokes

Now, you all know that I get all my Friday Funnies jokes from emails people send me. Not this next one though. I found the following of my senior citizen jokes here.

The Perfect Marriage

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other, except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day, the little old woman got very sick, and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside.

She agreed that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totalling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. “When we were to be married,” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.”

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back the tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had just been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

“Honey,” he said, “that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?”

“Oh,” she said. “That’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”

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Friday Funnies #310

Ok, this week’s Friday Funnies will be in two parts. The first part will be a bit of nostalgic humour. This shows us how things have changed over time.

Friday Funnies Nostalgia

EATING IN THE FIFTIES

Pasta was not eaten in Australia.

Curry was a surname.

A takeaway was a mathematical problem.   

A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.

All potato chips were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the salt on or not.

Rice was only eaten as a milk pudding.

Calamari was called squid and we used it as fish bait.

A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.

Brown bread was something only poor people ate.

Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking.

Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.

Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold.  Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.

Fish didn't have fingers in those days.

Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi.

None of us had ever heard of yoghurt.

Healthy food consisted of anything edible.

People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.

Indian restaurants were only found in India.

Cooking outside was called camping.

Seaweed was not a recognised food.

"Kebab" was not even a word, never mind a food.

Prunes were medicinal.

Surprisingly, muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.

Water came out of the tap.

If someone had suggested bottling it and charging more than petrol for it, they would have become a laughing stock!!

But the one thing that we never ever had on our table in the sixties.....

Elbows or Phones.


Now for the next part of this weeks Friday Funnies. You could say that this one follows on from the previous one.  :wink_ee:  I have something that I know will make you really Laugh Out Loud!

WHY SENIORS STILL NEED NEWSPAPERS

Friday Funnies

I was visiting my daughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

“Come on dad! This is the 21st century,” she said. “We don’t waste money on newspapers. here, use my iPad.”

Friday Funnies

I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him.

Just for a change of pace I reckon this short story will interest you!

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About Peter Pelliccia"