Irish Sausage Friday Funnies #289


I got this email today that stemmed around an Irish sausage that I found to be absolutely hilarious! Now you may wonder what is so funny about an Irish sausage? Well it’s not the Irish sausage as much as the consequences that occurred around finding where they keep the Irish sausages? Here is the email in its entirety.

Irish Sausage & Racism

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream ‘racism’ these days. A customer asked, “In what aisle could I find the Irish sausages?”

The assistant asks, “Are you Irish?”

The guy, clearly offended, says, “Yes I am, but let me ask you something, If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?”

The assistant says, “No, I probably wouldn’t.”

The guy says, “Well then, just because I asked for Irish sausage, why did you ask me if I’m Irish?”

The assistant replied, “Because you’re in Bunnings.”

Yeah, some people are just way to sensitive. :wink:

Of course I know you guys expect more than just one funny joke for Friday Funnies which is why I used the Creator to put the following joke together for you.

Irish Sausage JokeI’m sure that for most of you these jokes are more than enough for a Friday Funnies post. Even so, there may be some of you who want more. For those of you who are new to Friday funnies you should check out the Friday Funnies category. If you like sports related jokes then check out my really funny sports jokes.

 

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Best Pub Friday Funnies #270


For this weeks Friday Funnies we’re going to some unknown pub somewhere in the world. At this unknown pub 3 blokes, as blokes do,  are discussing which country has the best pub.

And The Best Pub In The World Is…..

“As good as this bar is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs backbest pub joke
home.
In Glasgow , there’s a wee place called McTavish’s….
The landlord goes out of his way for the locals.
When you buy four drinks, he’ll buy the fifth drink. That is definitely the best pub”

“Well, Angus,” said the Englishman, “At my local in London ,
the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first
two. Clearly, that is the best pub”

“Ahhh, dat’s nothin’,” said Paddy Sheehan, the Irishman. “Back home in me
favourite pub in Galway , the moment you set foot in the place, they’ll buy you a
drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you’ve had enough drinks, they’ll take you upstairs and see dat you get laid, all on the house! Dat’s what being da best pub is about!”
The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims.
“Did this actually happen to you?”

“Not meself, personally, no,” admitted the Irishman, “but it did happen to me sister quite a few times.”

Yeah, you just have to love the Irish :wink_ee:

Something else I would like to share with you this week is more remarkable than funny. It’s about thus guy flying 3 kites at once. He’s is in his 80s and he’s from Canada.

He comes to Washington State International Kite Festival every year.

His skin is like leather as he normally flies with his shirt off. He is deaf, so when he flies, we hold our hands up and wave them for applause. He flies 2 with his hands and the 3rd one is attached to his waist. You must watch to the end to see the amazing landing of that last kite.

And make sure your volume is turned up because the music is wonderful and totally reflects the soaring of the kites. (The Flower

Duet from Lakme)


Remember, you can always get more laughs by heading over to my funny sports jokes or just browse the rest of my Friday Funnies jokes.

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Irish Jokes Day Friday Funnies #251


 

Today is Irish Jokes Day. Not for any special reason except I know how much you guys would love an Irish jokes day. I know it would be better on St. Patrick’s Day but I honestly can’t wait that long :wink_ee:

Friday Funnies Irish Jokes Day

Our first Irish Jokes day joke involves the ever popular Murphy the Irishman.
Murphy goes to his friend Pat and says, “I’m sleeping with the Pastors wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after services for me?”

Pat doesn’t like it, but being Murphy’s longtime friend, he agrees.

After the service, he starts talking to the Pastor, asking him all sorts of  stupid questions, just to keep him occupied.

Finally the Pastor gets annoyed and asks Pat what he’s really up to.

Pat, feeling guilty, finally confesses to the Pastor. “My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied.”

The Pastor smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Pat’s shoulder and says, “My Son you’d better hurry home. My wife died two years ago.”

Irish Jokes Day

Did you ever hear the one about the Irish priest that got pulled over by the police? It goes something like this…..

An Irish priest driving along a country road gets pulled over by the police. He immediately smells alcohol on the priest’s breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the car.

He says: “Have you been drinking?”

“Just water,” says the priest.

The cop replies: “Then why do I smell wine?”

The priest looks at the bottle and says: “Good Lord! He’s done it again!”

Irish Jokes Day 2

Irishman, like the rest of us, have all types of jobs. There are even Irish doctors! Man, I’m not sure I could live with having an Irish doctor :tongue_laugh_ee:

Dr O’Mahony tells his patient: “I have bad news and worse news, John.”

“Oh dear,” John replies. “What’s the bad news?” asks the patient.

The doctor replies: “You only have 24 hours to live.”

“That’s terrible,” says the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”

Dr O’Mahony replies: “I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday.”

And so ends another Friday Funnies. Sure hope you enjoyed it enough to share it with your friends :smoke_tb:

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