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Funny Irish Friday Funnies #340

Oh, the Funny Irish.  :tongue_laugh_ee: I don’t know what it is about the Irish that folk continually make fun of them. I’m sure the Irish themselves don’t always appreciate all the so-called funny Irish jokes?  :hairout_tb:  

Nevertheless, there’s a sleuth of funny Irish jokes out there with more appearing all the time. Take the following funny Irish joke I got in an email today.

Mick & Paddy Funny Irish Altercation

Mick: I’ve been going to Night Classes every night for 5 months now.
Paddy: Oh!
Mick:  For example, do you know who Alexander Graham Bell is?
Paddy:  No
Mick:  He’s the inventor of the phone in 1876;
If you took night classes you’d know this.

The  next day:

Mick:  Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
Paddy:  No
Mick:  He’s the author of “The 3 Musketeers”.
If you took night classes, you’d know this.

The next day….once  again:

Mick:  And do you know who Jean-Jacques Rousseau is?
Paddy:  No
Mick:  He’s the author of “The Confessions”
If you took night classes, you’d know this.

This  time, Paddy got irritated and said:
And you Mick … Do you know who Sean Reilly is?
Mick:  No.
Paddy:  He’s the fellow who’s bonking your wife?
If you stopped going to night classes, you’d know this!

Funny Irish

Before I go, I’m going to show you my latest YouTube video, about the Funniest Top 10 babies and toddlers video.

This is my first attempt at producing a funny babies video so I really hope you’ll get a kick out of it. If you haven’t already, I’d be stoked if you would do me the honour of subscribing to my Bonzer Channel.

If you’re looking for some laughs, then you check out some of my hilarious jokes.

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Hilarious Jokes Friday Funnies #319

Folk love hilarious jokes because they like to laugh. Usually, hilarious jokes are supposed to be funnier than your every day joke. I’m hoping that you find this week’s hilarious jokes funny.

Hilarious Jokes For Your Entertainment

The first of my hilarious jokes takes place at a dentist’s office.

A man and his wife walked into a dentist’s office. The man said to the dentist, “Doc, I’m in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to play golf, so forget about the anaesthetic, I don’t have time for the gums to get numb. I want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! We have a 10:00 am tee time at the best golf course in town, and it’s 9:30 already. I don’t have time to wait for the anaesthetic to work!”

The dentist thought to himself, “Well, well, at last, a golfer with real balls!” So the dentist asks him, “Which tooth is it, sir?”

The man turned to his wife and said, “Open your mouth, honey, and show the dentist.”

The next one takes place on a cattle ranch.

I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd, but he just ate grass and wouldn’t even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.

The bull started to service the cows within two days, all my cows! He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbour’s cows! He’s like a machine! I don’t know what was in the pills the Vet gave him… but they kind of taste like peppermint.

Finally, I put something together with the Creator that I think you’ll love.

I Love The Creator

hilarious jokes

Looking for more hilarious jokes? Check out my FRIDAY FUNNIES category. Or you can watch my Laughaholics videos.Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2018

Pissing Joke Friday Funnies #303

Most of you know that I get my Friday Funnies jokes in my emails. Today I got one that was completely different from anything I’ve received before. My first ever pissing joke! I mean, who would ever come up with a pissing joke anyway. Probably what makes it even funny is that it involves two Irishmen and their love for beer.

A Mermaid’s Pissing Joke

After their cruise ship sank, Two Irishman were stranded at sea in a lifeboat. Things were getting pretty desperate. They’d just run out of water when a mermaid appeared out of the blue and offered them one wish to save their lives.

The Irishmen thought long and hard about it, and then Paddy shouted out,”I wish the ocean was a sea of beer.” To their amazement, the ocean was turned into beer.

The Irishmen got stuck into the beer thinking life was rosy again when Shamus suddenly said in dismay, “Great, now we have to piss in the boat!”

Then there was this other pissing joke involving an elderly couple’s visit to the doctor’s office.

Funny Pissing Joke

Doctor’s Funny Pissing Joke

An elderly couple went to their doctor for a checkup. The man goes in first. “How’re you doing?” asks the doctor.

“Pretty good,” answers the old man. “I’m eating well, and I’m still in control of my bowels and bladder. In fact, when I get up at night to pee, the good Lord even turns the light on for me.”

The doctor decides to let that last statement slide and goes to check on the man’s wife. “How’re you feeling?” he asks.

“Pretty good, no complaints at all” answers the old woman. “I’ve got heaps of energy, and I’m not feeling any pain.”

The doctor says, “That’s nice. It’s good to see you and your husband doing so well. Something is bothering me though!  Your husband mentioned that when he gets up to pee at night,’ the good Lord turns the light on for him’. Do you have any idea what he means?”

“Oh shit,” she says, “He’s pissing in the refrigerator again.”

Talking about pissing jokes you’re going to love this video.

And they say men can’t multi-task!

You may want to check out my post on my YouTube intro video.

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Funny Irish Jokes Friday Funnies #302

You all know I love funny Irish jokes, right? I also know I’m not the only one who likes funny Irish jokes. That’s why funny Irish jokes occur so often on this blog, to appease my avid readers. Two of my more favourite funny Irish jokes include Sexy Sal’s Blonde Joke & Irish Humor FF #62, way back in 2013 and more recently Irish Jokes That Make You Laugh Friday Funnies #279!

Today’s funny Irish jokes takes place in a Dublin surgery. (Just so you know, Grammarly tells me that I should drop the ‘s’ in takes but you guys all know that’s for SEO purposes right?)

Funny Irish Jokes That Makes You Laugh

A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant

“Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients”.

“Yes, sir!” answers Murphy.

The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: “So, Murphy, how was your day?”

Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. “The first one had a headache, so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol.”

“Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?” asks the doctor.

“The second one had indigestion, and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir,” says Murphy.

“Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this and what about the third one?” asks the doctor.

“Sir, I was sitting here, and suddenly the door flies open, and a gorgeous young woman bursts in, so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everything including her bra and her knickers and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts:

‘HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen a man!’

“Tunderin’ lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?” asks the doctor.

“I put drops in her eyes.”

Naturally, I can’t complete a Funny Fridays post without my customary The Creator creation.  :smoke_tb:

funny Irish jokes

Finally, I have a Funny Irish jokes video for you as well.

For those of you who don’t know YouTube have changed the rules for small YouTubers such as myself. You can read about that here. I need more subscribers to help me meet their new target. You can help by subscribing to my channel. let me know in the comments that you’ve done so and I will subscribe to your channel.

I know it’s a Friday Funnies post, but I’m posting it today, Thursday, because I have some stuff to do tomorrow. Unfortunately, I have to work for a living.  :tongue_laugh_ee: Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2018

About Peter Pelliccia"