Many people love to poke fun and religion which has lead to quite a few religious jokes. I figured why not have a couple of religious jokes as part of our Friday Funnies.
Religious Jokes #1 A Rabbi in the Confessional Booth
A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn’t know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he’d stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do.
The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional. After a few minutes a woman comes in and says “Father forgive me for I have sinned.” The priest asks “What did you do?”. The woman says “I committed adultery.” Priest: “How many times?” Woman: “Three times.” Priest: “Say two Hail Mary’s, put $5 in the box and go and sin no more.”
A few minutes later a man enters the confessional. He says “Father forgive me for I have sinned.” Priest: “What did you do?” Man: “I committed adultery.” Priest:”How many times?” Man: “Three times.” Priest: “Say two Hail Mary’s put $5 in the box and go and sin no more.”
The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he’s got it so the priest leaves. A few minutes later another woman enters and says “Father forgive me for I have sinned.” Rabbi: “What did you do?” Woman: “I committed adultery.” Rabbi: “How many times?” Woman: “Once.”
Rabbi: “Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three for $5.”
Religious Jokes #2 The Retiring Priest
A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish…
A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.
However he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:
“I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents; embezzled from his employer; had an affair with his boss’s wife and had sex with his boss’s 17 year old daughter on numerous occasions.
He had taken illegal drugs; had several homosexual affairs; was arrested several times for public nudity and gave VD to his sister-in-law. I was appalled that one person could do so many awful things… But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.”
Just as the Priest finished his talk the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:
“I’ll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived” said the politician. “In fact I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.”
Moral: Never, Never, Never Be Late
Religious Jokes #3 Once an Asshole……
A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, “I want to be gorgeous.” God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This want on and on throughout the group.
God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground. When the man’s turn came, he laughed and said, “I wish they were all ugly again.”
Just goes to prove that some folk will always be assholes
Religious Jokes #4 Being Quiet In Church
And so ends another Friday Funnies. Sure hope you got a kick out of it. Why not share it with your friends so you can brighten up their day as well. Just use one of the Social Share buttons at the end of this post.
Do you know what is funnier that religious jokes? Sports jokes and I have some ripper sports jokes for you.
Most people today are pretty web savvy, but there are still some things that, although we see the words every day, we still aren’t quite sure what they are, how they work and what we need them for. One of those everyday mystery terms is domain names. Back in the early days of the Internet, there were big stories in the news about insightful go-getters who foresaw the potential of certain major brands and the names of well-known persons in history or celebrities, and snapped them up, registered them, and then made a fortune selling them.Those heady days of get-rich-quick on the Internet are over fo the most part, but anyone who plans a website needs to have a domain registered.
What is A Domain?
Your domain name is your handle, so to speak, and it’s used to tell the Internet your location in cyberspace. It’s similar to a physical address on your home or business in the real world, and each domain must be unique.
How Do I Create and Register My Domain?
Your domain name should relate to your purpose. Someone should be able to look at the domain name and have a rough idea if your are a business, an informational website, or a person. This make take some doing, as even variations of common names or business types may already be taken. You may be able to use a domain name that’s taken by choosing a different suffix; for example, mywebsite.net, as opposed to mywebsite.com. Suffixes can differentiate your location (mywebsite.eu), state that you’re a non-profit (my website.org) and let users know if you’re an institute of higher learning or government agency (mywebsite.edu or mywebsite.gov).
You can learn if a domain name is already owned by performing a web search. There are companies where you can type your potential domain name into a search bar, and it will let you know if that name is already taken. If not, then great; you can claim it and register it for a small fee. If it’s already in use, or owned, the search will provide that information, along with the price of purchasing that domain name from the current owner. That can run you anywhere from a few dollars to thousands of dollars, depending on the popularity of the name.
Where Do I get a Domain?
Once you choose a name, you have to register it. This is like getting a trademark or a copyright; once you purchase and register your domain, you own the rights to it and know one else can use it. You buy and register your domain with the company used for your search. You don’t have to use your domain immediately, so if you’re only in the exploratory stage of building a website, you’ll already have your domain purchased and registered for when you’re ready to use it.
Is My Domain Fixed in Cyberspace?
When you purchase and register your domain, it’s yours and it will remain registered to that provider. You can transfer domain name to another provider for a small fee, providing that it is a valid domain, that it is registered properly and that you own that domain. However, there is usually a stipulation that the domain must have been previously registered for a specified period of time, and it can take up to a week for the transfer to be completed.
The reason most people cloak their links is because everyone has told them that a link cloaker will improve their affiliate sales! They say that a lot of reason people don’t click on affiliate links is because they don’t trust those long ugly looking affiliate links.
Another reason for cloaking your links is to prevent those unscrupulous people from hijacking your links! This is all done in the hope of increasing your affiliate sales! Well, it seems that most of the link cloakers out there are failing their jobs. While they may be ‘prettifying’ those ugly affiliate links they’re failing in some other major areas.
This has lead me to trialling a new Affiliate Link Cloaker on my easy sports betting site. You can see that link cloaker in action in this post.
How Your Link Cloaker May Be Failing You
There are several ways that your link cloaker may be failing you. Let’s look at a few.
Browser Switching! I’ve never heard about browser switching before but apparently people do this to bypass potential affiliate links. According to their findings 1 in 10 people switch browsers.
Dead Links! If you’re like me and promote a lot of affiliates I think it’s safe to say that a lot of those links are now dead links. So instead of directing potential buyers to a sales page all they’re getting is a 404 page. Consequently any possible sale is lost. WP Link Shield, yeah that’s what the plugin is called, will instead direct those people to a sales page of your choice thereby maximising the possibility of sales.
Affiliate Links Banned! You’ve probably noticed that a lot of social media won’t let you post affiliate links on their sites. WP Link Shield does its job so well that it makes posting affiliate links on those sites possible and you can do it straight from your WordPress dashboard. Not only that, you can also attach those links to your own images.
Your List is Being Harvested! As we all know there are a lot of times when you try to exit a sales page only to be presented with some free offer which is being offered for your email address. So not only are you losing the sale but they’re leaching your list from you! You can put a stop to this.
Here are the main points for adding WP Link Shield to your blogging for money arsenal.
The Only Cloaker That Auto Scans For Link Errors And Redirects To Current Offers
WP Link Shield Is The Only Link Cloaker That Protects Against Browser Switching
WP Link Shield Is The Only Link Cloaker That Automatically Monitors, Notifies And Redirects Broken Links
All for Only $27 – The Cost Of ONE Lost Affiliate Sale?
The following Million Dollar Tipping link is being cloaked by WP Link Shield. Clicking on that link will take you to the Million Dollar Tipping page. Check out the image below. What you’re seeing in the url is my cloaked link using the keywords of my choice. You can copy that link in whatever browser you want and it will continue to cloak my affiliate link effortlessly.
That’s how good WP Link Shield does its job. Does your link cloaker do its job as well? If not then perhaps it’s time you do something about it to improve your affiliate sales.
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