Traffic Controller Funnies Friday Funnies #201


Yep, it’s time for another Friday Funnies, Friday Funnies #201. For todays Friday Funnies I thought I would do something completely different, traffic controller funnies. That is funny stuff that happens in the life of air traffic controllers.

traffic controller funniesAir Traffic Controller To Pilot

An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication with a small twin engine aircraft. A moment later the tower land line rang and was answered by one of the employees.

Bob was riding with the pilot who lost communications was on a cellular phone and yelled: “Mayday, mayday!! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack. I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and he had told me before we took off he had the tower on his speed dial memory. I am flying upside down at 18,000 feet and traveling at 180 mph. Mayday, mayday!!”

The employee in the tower had put him on speaker phone immediately. “Calm down, we acknowledge you and we’ll guide you down after a few questions. The first thing is not to panic, remain calm!!”.

He began his series of questions:

Tower : ” How do you know you are traveling at 18,000 feet?”

Aircraft: “I can see that it reads 18,000 feet on the Altimeter Dial in front of me.”

Tower: “Okay, that’s good, remain calm. How do you know you’re traveling at 180 mph?”

Aircraft: “I can see that it reads 180 mph on the Airspeed dial in front of me.”

Tower: Okay, this is great so far, but it’s heavily overcast, so how do you know you’re flying upside down?”

Aircraft: “The crap in my pants is running out of my shirt collar.”

I just did not expect that and I totally understand how that bloke must have felt. I can also imagine the air traffic controller rolling on the floor laughing.  :lol_tb:

I hope you enjoyed this weeks Friday Funnies. Don’t forget to share it with your friends to brighten their day. Also, if you’re looking for more jokes there’s always my sports jokes  :thumbup_ee:

 

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2016
Share the joy
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

Lottobroker A Scam Site? Can I Say That?

Lottobroker a scam

Created with the Creator 7

Do you remember the post I did on how well I did last month as a lottery affiliate? My earnings would have been a lot higher if my best earning lottery site remained honest. I’m talking about Lottobroker.com. I’ve been affiliated with them for years but I haven’t been happy with them of late.

You could say that our relationship has deteriorated to such an extent that I was forced to write a post called Is Lottobroker a scam? Can they be trusted?

As that post will explain these guys owed me over $1200 back in September 2015. I’m sure that by now, especially with all the excitement over that last USA Powerball jackpot, it would be over $2000. Even with all the emails I’ve sent them I’ve yet to receive a reply. I even warned them that unless I got some sort of reply from them that I would be writing these posts calling them out for what they really are! Untrustworthy as all hell?

Can I Call Lottobroker A Scam Site?

You may noticed from reading that post that I didn’t out and out call their site a scam. All I did was warn people that they couldn’t be trusted. Especially after I found out that other affiliates were left in the lurch. Shit, they would all be spitting chips by now because you haven’t been able to log into their affiliate dashboard for months now.

So I ask you, can you trust a site that rips off their affiliates to pay their winning lottery customers their winnings? Personally I don’t think you can, but I would love some feedback from you guys.

If you hopped over to read that post you would have noticed it contained a whole sleuth of banners. Each and every banner was created with the Creator 7. Each banner contained it’s own message, every one of them saying how you can’t trust Lottobroker to do the right thing. But that wasn’t the only reason. It also had a lot to do with SEO, because this time I was writing to the search engines as much as I was to prospective, and actual, Lottobroker customers.

With some luck Goggle and the other major search engines will send them to that site to warn them about what can be expected of Lottobroker.com.

Any help you can give would be appreciated. So if you could share that post, a Tweet, Facbook like or whatever I’m sure it would do a lot of good.

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2016
Share the joy
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

Ranch Jokes Friday Funnies #200


Ranch Jokes that make people laugh. I came across some of these ranch jokes in my email the other day and they got me laughing so loudly that I had to include them in this weeks Friday Funnies. Seeing as how todays Friday Funnies is the 200th post of Friday Funnies I wanted it to be especially funny. I hope you find these ranch jokes as funny as I did.

A Female Ranch Jokes That Will Floor You

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher’s widow said to the hired hand, “You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick  your heels.” The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o’clock came, however, and he didn’t return.

Two o’clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher’s widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

“Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. “Now take off my boots.”

He did as she asked, ever so slowly. “Now take off my socks.”

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

“Now take off my skirt.”

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

“Now take off my bra.” Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, “If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired.”

For our second ranch joke I thought it only fitting that Sexy Sals thrills us with another of her hilarious blonde jokes.

ranch jokes Sexy Sals blonde jokes

Next we go to Montana for our final ranch jokes.

Old ranch owner John farmed a small ranch in Montana.  The Montana Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his workers and sent an agent out to interview him.

‘I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,’ demanded the agent.

‘Well,’ replied old John, ‘There’s my ranch hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a week plus free room and board. Then there’s the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night.’

‘That’s the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit,’ says the agent.

‘That would be me,’ replied old rancher John.

Don’t be shy now, leave a comment telling us which of the jokes was your favourite.

I hope you enjoyed this weeks Friday Funnies. Don’t forget to have a great weekend and to visit my sports jokes category for more funny jokes

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2016
Share the joy
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

About Peter Pelliccia"