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Elderly Humour Friday Funnies #358

I’ve written quite a few Elderly Jokes for Friday Funnies, and I see no reason why I shouldn’t add to my elderly humour posts. The first of my elderly humour stories is about an old couple in their seventies who are about to be married.

Elderly Humour #1

An elderly couple reaching their 70s are about to get married, but before they say their vows, the woman wanted to talk.
She said: “I want to keep my house.
He said: “That’s fine with me.”
She said: “I want to keep my Car.
He said: “That’s fine with me.”
She said: “And I want to have sex 6 times a week.
He said: “Put me down for Fridays.

Before my next elder humour joke I have a few elderly humour images.

elderly humour
elderly humour

Elderly Wisdom

This next bit of elderly humour is funny because the young of today have no idea what it used to be like.

Someone  asked the other day, ‘What was your favourite  ‘fast food’ when you were growing up?’

‘We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,’ I  informed him. All the food was slow.’  

‘C’mon, seriously.. Where did you  eat?’  

‘It was a place called ‘home,” I explained.  !’Mum cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate, I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.’

By this time, the lad was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.

But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I’d figured his system could have handled it: Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore jeans,  set foot on a golf course, travelled out of the country or had a credit card.

My parents never drove me to school. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed  (slow).

We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 10.

It was, of course, black and white,  and the station went off the air at 10 PM, after playing the national anthem and epilogue; it came back on the air at about 6 am. And there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers 

Film stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the films. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or almost anything offensive.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you might want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren.  Just don’t blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?

Finally, a couple more elderly humour images.

elderly humour
elderly humour

The fact that you’re here, reading this post, shows me you’re someone who loves, or is looking for laughs so don’t forget to check out my other Friday Funnies posts

You should also check out my Laughaholics Videos, especially my funniest Greek joke video. You’ll find heaps of funny videos there. You may even want to subscribe to my channel. I’m always looking for new subscribers.

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YouTube Earnings With 1,000 Subs

Have you ever wondered about YouTube earnings with 1,000 subs? I’ve watched some videos that say you can make 1,000’s of dollars with a thousand subscribers. They even provide a formula showing viewers how you can do this. I believe their method is flawed and so I produced a video which shows exactly why I think this is the case. My video is titled How Much Can You Make With 1,000 Subscribers.

True YouTube Earnings With 1,000 Subs Revealed

YouTube earnings

When discussing YouTube earnings with 1,000 subs most of these videos assume that you have a digital product and you, therefore, keep 100% of any sales made. I believe that most of the viewers out there, like myself, have to rely on affiliate sales. Which means we only get to keep a percentage of the proceeds, usually about 5% or so.
So, let’s have a look at some of the assumptions these videos make.

These videos say that we usually should be able to convert 1% of our subscribers, so if we have 1,000 subscribers, 1% of those will result in 10 sales. Now let us assume that the product we are selling is $100. We know that our margin is about 5%, so 5% of $100 is $5. If we multiply that by the ten sales we’ve achieved we’ve managed to earn $50!
In the scenario of one of the videos, I’ve watched it mentioned a $40 digital product which brought in $400 of profit whereas our example only netted us $50 which I feel is closer to the mark.

Why 1000 Subs Earning Assumptions Are Flawed

However, I believe they are assuming that all 1,000 of our subscribers are watching our videos. My honest YouTube earnings video shows you how flawed that assumption is.
It uses my Grammarly video as an example. I made that video back in January of 2018. Grammarly is a product that I use and love, and I was pretty sure that my passion for Grammarly showed in that video. At the time I had about 800 or so subscribers, so if all my subscribers watched that video, it would have gotten 800 views. If I converted 1% of those viewers, I should have made eight sales.

Check out my video to see the flaw in believing 1,000 subscribers can make you thousands of dollars.

Speaking of YouTube, you should check out my You should also check out my Laughaholics Videos, especially my funniest Greek joke video. You may even want to subscribe to my channel. I’m always looking for new subscribers.

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Funny Political Humour Friday Funnies #357

Because we’re all going to vote in a federal election tomorrow, I thought some funny political humour would be perfect for this weeks Friday Funnies. I got the following funny political humour in my email today. I kid you not. Talk about perfect timing. 🤪

Today’s Funny Political Humour

I bought a new imported Ford F350 Tri-Flex Fuel Truck. Go figure, it runs on either hydrogen, gasoline, or E85.

I returned to the dealer yesterday, because I couldn’t get the radio to work.

The service technician explained that the radio was voice activated. ‘Nelson!’ The technician said to the radio.

The radio replied, ‘Ricky or Willie?’

‘Willie!’ he continued and ‘On the road again’ came from the speakers.

Then he said, ‘Ray Charles!’, and in an instant,’ Georgia On My Mind’ replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy and for the next few days, every time I’d say, ‘Beethoven!’, I’d get beautiful classical music.

And if I said ‘Beatles!’, I’d get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, some guy ran a red light and nearly smashed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid him. I yelled, “F**king Idiot!!!”

Immediately, the radio responded with: “Ladies and gentlemen, an address from the Leader of the Opposition. Bill Shorten”

Damn, I love this truck!!!

Personally, I think originally this was an American joke that someone altered to suit us Aussies but it’s still funny as hell.

funny political humour

Seriously though, elections are a serious matter and you should think wisely before voting. The wrong choice can cost us all dearly.

The fact that you’re here, reading this post, shows me you’re someone who loves, or is looking for laughs so don’t forget to check out my other Friday Funnies posts.

You should also check out my Laughaholics Videos, especially my funniest Greek joke video. You’ll find heaps of funny videos there. You may even want to subscribe to my channel. I’m always looking for new subscribers.

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