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St Patricks Day Jokes Friday Funnies #206


In honour of St Patricks day I though I’d honour it by posting some St. Patricks Day Jokes. Naturally, when I say I’m going to post some St Patricks Day Jokes I mean Irish Jokes.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

St Patricks Day Jokes Loved By All

Our first St Patricks Day jokes takes place in a bar. After all, where else do you expect to find an Irishman on St Patricks Day.  :drunk_tb:

A young irishman sitting at a bar with his pet pig asks for a couple of drinks. The confused bartender tells him that no animals were allowed at the bar.

The Irishman tells him, “Ah, but this is a very special pig. Just last week there was a fire in the house and that pig came charging out of his pen into the house and woke us all up .Then a few days later my son fell into the pool and that pig was grazing out on the lawn, and he came running and jumped into the pool and saved my son.”

“Wel, ” said the bartender, “I guess this is a very special pig so I’ll get him a drink. By the way I noticed that he is missing one leg, what happened? ”

“Well,” said the young man,” when you have a pig this good you sure don’t want to eat him all at once.”

St Patricks Day Jokes

The next is not your typical St Patricks Day jokes.

The rain was pouring down. And there, standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub, was an old Irishman, drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the water.

A passer-by stopped and asked, “What are you doing?”

“Fishing,” replied the old man.

Feeling sorry for the old man, the gent says, “Come in out of the rain and have a drink with me.”
In the warmth of the pub, as they sip their whiskies, the gentleman cannot resist asking, “So how many have you caught today?”

“You’re the eighth.” says the old man…..

Which just goes to prove that perhaps the Irish aren’t as dumb as they’re made out to be.  :smoke_tb:

Happy St Patricks Day! Don’t forget to share this post with your friends and to have a great weekend. Want more jokes? Hop on over to some of the best sports jokes out there.

 

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As an Aussie I’ve noticed that Aussie slang seems to be dying and I think that’s a shame. It’s a shame because I feel it’s an important part of Aussie culture. There’s also a funny side to Aussie slang.

I’ve written a few posts that has Aussie slang in it. One was way back in 2009 called Duncan and Norm’s Big Night Out Another one in 2009 was an Interview With Sire And The John Chow Confrontation. There are probably other posts that have Aussie slang in it but I reckon those two give you a pretty good idea of the funny side to Aussie Slang.

I got this email today which inspired me to do another post about the funny side to Aussie slang and this is it. Actually, it’s not really about Aussie slang, although it does have some Aussie slang in it, can you pick them out? It’s more about broadband in the Australian Bush.

Aussie Slang Broadband In The Aussie Bush

LOGON: Adding wood to make the barbie hotter

LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the barbie.

MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the barbie.

DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the ute.

HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.

KEYBOARD: Where you hang the ute keys.

WINDOWS: What you shut when the weather’s cold.

SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season..

BYTE: What mozzies do

MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do.

CHIP: A pub snack.

MICROCHIP: What’s left in the bag after you’ve eaten the chips.

MODEM: What you did to the lawns.

LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.

SOFTWARE: Plastic knives and forks you get at Red Rooster.

HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives and forks – from K-Mart.

MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.

MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.

WEB: What spiders make.

WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the veranda.

SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the ute won’t go.

CURSOR: What you say when the ute won’t go.

YAHOO: What you say when the ute does go.

UPGRADE: A steep hill.

SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

USER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.

NETWORK:What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.

INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.

NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover a hole in the net.

ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.

OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren’t strong enough.

Here’s a bit more Aussie humour.

Aussie Slang Post at Wassupblog

That’s it for this weeks Friday Funnies. I hope you enjoyed it enough to want to share it with your mates.

 

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About Peter Pelliccia"