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Good Natured Humour Friday Funnies #287

Last week was one of those rare weeks when I missed out on writing a Friday Funnies posts. This week’s Friday Funnies is all about good natured humour. I don’t really have to stick to good natured humour ever since Google penalised me for some posts it thought unsuitable for advertisers. It seemed that Google thought this blog was just Too Sexy For Google. Which was cool with me because most of the money I made on this blog was and is from advertisers. Not from Google at all. Thankfully they’re still sending traffic my way.

The hardest thing about writing these Friday Funnies posts is coming up with new keywords that haven’t been used before. Apparently this is important for SEO! That’s why this post is called Good Natured Humour, because I’ve never used those keywords before :wink_ee:

Good Natured Humour Little Girl Style

Kids can be really funny, usually it’s because they’ve misinterpreted something an adult has said. Like the little girl in the following story.

My wife hosted a dinner party for all our friends, some of whom we hadn’t seen for ages and everyone was encouraged to bring their children along as well.
 good natured humour
All throughout dinner my wife’s best friend’s four-year-old daughter stared at me as I sat opposite her.
The girl could hardly eat her food for staring. I checked my shirt for spots, felt my face for food,

and patted my hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at me.

Finally I asked her, “Why are you staring at me?”
Everyone at the table had noticed her behaviour, and the table went quiet, waiting for her response.
The little girl said, “I’m just waiting to see how you drink like a fish.”

Good Natured Aunty Acid?

I used to include a lot of Auntie Acid images into my Friday Funnies post, of which this is just one example. I don’t think anyone would call Auntie Acid good natured but almost everyone would agree she is pretty bloody funny. Someone sent me a whole heap of Auntie Acid coffee mug images. Thought I may as well start including them in my weekly Funny Friday’s posts.

Good natured Auntie Acid

There are quite a few commenters who said they would love a Aunty Acid mug. I did a bit of research and I found you can actually buy them on Amazon. Other cool Aunty Acid stuff include travel mugs, nurse mugs, desk calendars and even Aunty Acid’s Guide To Life!

Yes, there are even Aunty Acid T-Shirts!

Remember, there are a lot more laughs in my funny sports jokes section.

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Friday Funnies is all about stuff that makes you laugh. Before I get into some of that stuff that makes you laugh I have to apologise for missing last weeks Friday Funnies. No excuse except that I was flat out doing other things and just didn’t have the time. Hopefully this weeks stuff that makes you laugh is so funny it will make up for missing out on last weeks post.

Stuff That Makes You Laugh Images

stuff that makes you laugh

I think this next image is hilarious.

stuff that makes you laugh

OK, now for a really funny joke about group therapy.

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with five young mothers &   their small children.

You all have obsessions, he stated. I am concerned that these individual obsessions are going to impact your children.

To the first mother, Mary, he said: You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.

He turned to the second Mum, Ann: Your obsession is with money. It manifests itself in your children’s names, Penny, Goldie and Frank. 

He then turned to the third Mum, Joyce: Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your children’s names: Brandy and Sherry. You even called the cat, Whisky.

Next he turns to the fourth Mum, June: Your obsession is with flowers. Your girls are called Rose, Daphne & Poppy.                    

At this point, the fifth  mother, Kathy, quietly gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispered: Come on Dick, this guy has no idea what he’s talking about. Grab Fanny Cocky and Willy, we’re going.

The next joke is an Irish joke which I find really funny.

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a full day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.”

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 POUNDS! Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?”

The Irishman nodded…”I’ll tell yah though, by Jaesuz, I t’out I were goin’ to drop dead on dat 3rd day.

“From hunger, you mean?”

“No,” said the Irishman. “From all the skippin’.”

Finally, I’m going to finish off with the funniest Super Bowl commercials for 2017.

Remember, you can get more laughs by checking out the Friday Funnies category by heading over to my funny sports jokes.

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Just Some Funny Crapola Friday Funnies #285

Its time for another Friday Funnies. For this weeks Friday Funnies I thought I would just post some funny crapola that would hopefully make you laugh. My first bit of funny crapola involves and Irishman.

Irish Alzheimer Funny Crapola

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He’d neverfunny crapola been to church in his life. After
Mass, the priest caught up with him and said, “Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?”

Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father. A while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that
McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during
Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.”

The priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?”

Murphy replied, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the Ten Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s
hat after all~!

With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said, “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell ?”

Murphy slowly shook his head. “No, Father, after ya talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’ I remembered where I left me hat.”

For my next bit of funny crapola I want to include this really funny video. It’s some guy called George Younce singing his really funny version of Side By Side.

So, what part of this weeks Friday Funnies did you like the best and why was it your favourite part of this weeks funny crapola.

As always, you can get more laughs by checking out the Friday Funnies category or reading my really funny sports jokes

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Funny Things Kids Say Friday Funnies #284

I’ve called this post Funny Things Kids Say because they funniest things just pops out of their mouths. Half the time it’s so damn innocent. I reckon that’s what makes it so damn funny.

Apparently, this first one is a true story and just goes to prove how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. These guys think so logically.

Funny Things Kids Say About The Three Little Pigs

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home.

She read. ‘And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: ‘Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?’

The teacher paused then asked the class: ‘And what do you think the man said?’

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly… ‘I think the man would have said – ‘Well, F#ck me!! A talking pig!’

The teacher had to leave the room.

The Readers Digest has a whole heap of funny things kids say and my favourite one is:

Daughter: “Mum, why’s your tummy big?”

Mum: “That’s because I’m expecting a baby.”

Daughter: “Where’s the baby?”

Mum: “Inside my tummy!”

Daughter: (Looking shocked) “OMG you ate the baby?”

If you want to see some really recent funny things that kids say just search Twitter for #shitmykidssay Here’s a couple that I found really funny.

funny things kids say

Or, how about this next one?

funny things kids say2

You can even find proof of funny things kids say on Instagram. I found this one pretty funny.

funny things kids say 3

Then not so long ago I got an email titled…

The New Generation (Funny Things Kids Say)

NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman
in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked!
As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat,
‘Mom, that lady isn’t wearing a seat belt!’

OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother.
The note read, ‘The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents ..’

KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar.. During her struggle the
phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.. ‘Mommy
can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now, she’s hitting the bottle.

MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women’s locker room.
When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and
running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, ‘What’s
the matter, haven’t you ever seen a little boy before?’

POLICE
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station.
As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little
boy staring in at me. ‘Is that a dog you got back there?’ he asked.
‘It sure is,’ I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.
Finally he said, ‘What’d he do?

ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins,
I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly
intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.
As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered, ‘The tooth fairy will never believe this!’

DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad
donning his tuxedo, she warned, ‘Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.’
‘And why not, darling?’
‘You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.’

DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the
intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old
son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should
be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole
and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister’s son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous
dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: ‘Glory be unto
the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes.’ (I want this line used at my funeral!)

SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. ‘I’m just wasting my time,’
she said to her mother. ‘I can’t read, I can’t write, and they won’t let me talk!’

BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through
the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object
and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
‘Mama, look what I found,’ the boy called out.
‘What have you got there, dear?’
With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, ‘I think it’s Adam’s
underwear!’

OK guys, hope you liked this weeks Friday Funnies. Remember, for more laughs check out my Friday Funnies category or check out my really funny sports jokes.

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