I love funny elderly jokes, which is why I’ve included so many elderly jokes in my Friday Funnies. Because funny elderly jokes are so bloody funny I’ve decided to make this Friday Funnies all about funny elderly jokes.
Funny Elderly Jokes #1
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”
“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife. “Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”
“Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”
Funny Elderly Jokes #2
An elderly couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African black tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When the male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the Penis to 24 inches.
Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, His wife looked at him and said, “How about we try the African String-and-Weight procedure?” The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis.
A few days later, the wife asked the husband, “How is our little Tribal experiment coming along?”
“Well, it looks like we’re about half way there,” he replied.
“Wow, you mean it’s grown to 12 inches?”
“No, it’s turned black.”
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