Six Types Of Sex

Todays Friday Funnies is about six types of sex, a far cry from my first ever Friday Funnies. Although I must admit, that initial post did mention sex at least once. 🤩So, what are the six types of sex? I’m glad you asked. 😆

The Six Types Of Sex

1. Pension Sex

 Two men were talking. “So, how’s your sex life?”
“Oh, nothing special. I’m having Pension sex.”
“Pension sex?”
“Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!”

2. Loud Sex

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, “I’ve got a big problem, doctor.
Every time we’re in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell.”
“My dear,” the shrink said. “That’s completely natural. I don’t see what the problem is.
“The problem is,” she complained. “It wakes me up!”

3.  Quiet Sex

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, “How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?”
She glanced at him and replied, “You’re never home!”

4.  Argument Sex

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yelled. “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads:
‘Here Lies My Wife – Cold as Ever.'”
“Yeah,” she replies. “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads:
‘Here Lies My Husband – Stiff, at Last.'”

5.  Women’s Humorous Sex

My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, “This will make you happy tonight.” He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs.

He couldn’t get back in.

6.  Elderly Sex

One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo and found her 97-year-old husband in bed with another woman.
She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor, assisted living apartment, killing him instantly.

Brought before the court on the charge of murder, the judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defence.

She began coolly, ‘Yes, your honour. I figured that at 97 if he could still have sex…he could also probably fly.   

And there you have it my gentle readers, the six types of sex.

Finally, something I put together with The Creator.

six types of sex

If you’d like more laughs, you should check out my Laughaholics Videos. Heck, you’ll like it so much you know you’re going to want to subscribe to my channel.

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Best Wallet Ever?

OK, guys, this isn’t your typical post. I’ve recently posted a YouTube video about what I thought was a really fashionable man’s wallet. The problem is when my wife saw my new wallet she said it was a woman’s wallet, which is why I called the video, Is This A Man’s Wallet? Would A Man Dare Use This Wallet? So, even though I thought it was the best wallet ever, man’s wallet that is, my wife’s comment has brought it into question.

Best Wallet Ever Fiasco

Anyway, I’ve embedded a poll within the video. The survey states, Is This A Man’s Wallet with a simple yes or no selection of responses. My problem is that at the moment the result stands at 50/50. Please, folks, I love my wallet, and I really need you guys to help me out and take the poll and vote for it being a man’s wallet.

So please, head on over to YouTube by clicking this link and give me the boost I need.

While you’re there why not check out my Laughaholics Videos. Heck, you’ll like it so much you know you’re going to want to subscribe to my channel.

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Funny English Language Friday Funnies #350

No bullshit, this post is called Funny English Language because the English language can be pretty funny because of how it’s interpreted.

The Funny English Language Is Wonderful

Take for example this made up tale about one of our Greens senators. Then again, it might be funnier if I substitute it for Pauline Hanson, her being such a political comedian and all. 😝

One Nation senator, Pauline Hanson, is touring live cattle export yards in the senator’s chauffeur driven car. Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road; they hit it full on, and the vehicle comes to a stop.

Pauline in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur, “You get out and check – you were driving.” 

The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. “You were driving, go and tell the farmer, ” says Pauline, “I can’t afford to be blamed for anything.”

The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face. “My god, what happened to you?” asks Pauline.

The chauffeur replies “When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of single malt whiskey.  The wife gave me a slap up meal and the daughter made love to me.

“What on earth did you say?” asks Pauline. “I knocked on the door and when it answered, I said to them I’m Pauline Hanson’s  chauffeur, and I’ve just killed the cow.”

I thought with all the crap Pauline has been saying lately that little story would fit in very well.

Yep, the English language has a lot of funny rules, too many to go through them here but one that I’ve always thought as odd is that we call a food server a waiter when it’s the customer that does all the waiting.

Finally, I have an image which I put together with The Creator which I think is hilarious.

Funny English Language

If you’d like more laughs, you should check out my Laughaholics Videos. Heck, you’ll like it so much you know you’re going to want to subscribe to my channel.

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