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Funny Random Jokes Friday Funnies #356

Todays Friday Funnies is a collection of funny random jokes. These funny random jokes are a collection of funny jokes I’ve received that don’t really fit into a particular category. I’m going to start my funny random jokes post with my latest YouTube video, Funniest Greek Joke.

Funny Random Jokes That Will Crack You Up

Have you ever had a teacher or professor who was so dull he would put you to sleep? Well, maybe it wasn’t his fault, perhaps you just weren’t in the right mood to absorb his dialogue. Take the following episode as an example.

The Professor was telling his early morning class, “I’ve found that the best way to start the day is to exercise for five minutes, take a deep breath of fresh air and then have a bowl of delicious cereal with raisins and almonds and a cup of green tea and finish with a cold shower. Then I feel rosy all over.”

A sleepy voice from the back of the room said, “Tell us more about Rosy”.

funniest random jokes

There are quite a few redneck jokes out there that are pretty funny and I reckon this one is up there with the best of them.

Redneck Funny Random Jokes

A redneck’s wife went into labour in the middle of the night, and a Doctor was called to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the Doctor handed the father to be a lantern and said “here you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.” Soon a baby son was brought into the world. “Whoa there,” said the Doctor. “Don’t be in a rush to put the lantern down….. 

I think there’s yet another one to come”. Sure enough, within minutes the doctor had delivered a baby girl. “No no don’t be in a great hurry to put down that lantern… It seems there is yet another one in there!” Cried the Doctor. The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the Doctor “do you think it’s the light that’s attractin’ ’em” ??

funny random jokes

To finish off, just something I put together. Also, don’t forget to check out some of my other Friday Funnies posts. The fact that you’re here, reading this post, shows me you’re someone who loves, or is looking for laughs. That being the case you should check out my Laughaholics Videos. You’ll find heaps of funny videos there. You may even want to subscribe to my channel. I’m always looking for new subscribers.

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Aussies Are Dumb Too

I got this email today titled Aussies are dumb too. It lists seven different occasions that show how stupid some Aussies can be. Let me just say that I can not vouch for any of the Aussies are dumb too stories mentioned below. Having said that. Some of the stories, as unbelievable as they are, may have happened which makes it totally funny.

Before you go any further, I’ve finally reached 1,000 subscribers so please check out my 1000 Subscribers celebration video.

9 Ways Aussies Are Dumb Too

Aussies are dumb too

Number One.
“I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre in Brisbane. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and, at the end of the conversation, happened to mention that she had given her daughter some ant poison to eat to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away”.

Yep, that would fit into the Aussies are dumb too category 😂

Number Two.
Some Boeing employees on the airfield in Sydney decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming towards  them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Now, that could have happened anywhere. 🧐

Number Three.
A man, wanting to rob a Bank of Queensland, walked into the Branch and wrote ‘;Put all ya muny in this beeg.’ While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller’s window. So he left the Bank and crossed the street to the NAB Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn’t the brightest light in the Harbour, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of Queensland deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a NAB deposit slip or go back to Bank of Queensland. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, ‘OK’ and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at the Bank of Queensland.

Happened in Brisbane.

Number Four.
A guy walked into a little corner store in Cairns with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, ‘Because I don’t believe you are over 21.’
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn’t believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver’s licence out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that she got off the licence.  They arrested the robber two hours later.

Number Five.
A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, ‘Nobody move !’ 
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. 
Happened in Adelaide

Number Six.
A guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. 
So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window.  The brick bounced back knocking him unconscious. 
It seems the liquor store window was made of Flexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Happened in Perth WA.

Number seven.
“My daughter went to a local McDonalds and ordered a burger. She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.”
Happened in Surfer’s Paradise.

Number eight.
“I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” 
To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” 
He smiled knowingly and nodded. “That’s why we ask.”
Happened in Melbourne ..

Number nine.
“When my husband and I arrived at a car dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘it’s open !’ 
His reply, ‘I know – I already done that side.’
Happened at the FORD dealership, Dubbo

Whilst some of these situations are highly questionable they’re still pretty funny.

Don’t forget to check out some of my other Friday Funnies posts. The fact that you’re here reading this post shows me you’re someone who loves or is looking for laughs. That being the case you should check out my Laughaholics Videos. You’ll find heaps of funny videos there. You may even want to subscribe to my channel. I’m always looking for new subscribers.

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3 Beast Mode Methods of Making Money Online

Everyone has their own tips and tricks, means of earning extra cash and secrets they dare not share. But then you get the guys that talk too much, the ones at a bar who don’t realize what little gems they are letting slip and to whom they are telling their secrets. After some bar hopping and a few pints later, we managed to string together 3 of the biggest means of making money online and you wouldn’t believe how simple it is. In fact, you could have started yesterday! So if you are planning on taking and using our advice, best you get on it before the news spreads like wildfire and you find yourself on the backburner missing out on opportunities which no longer exist. Okay, that’s a bit exaggerated, but you know what we mean, don’t miss out!

Online Gaming 

In a perfect world you would be able to do what you love most and get paid while doing it on your own time. Well the world must be perfect because we have just found not one but two various methods of making online via gaming. 

Bitcoin Mining – Bitcoin is a currency used online and holds substantial value. There have been recent developments in the online gaming realm regarding Bitcoin. Now users are able to play Bitcoin games where they are required to complete blockchains and receive Bitcoin as a reward. Although this isn’t physical cash into your account, you can transfer Bitcoin into a Lunar or other online wallet which then can be transferred into your bank account. Bitcoin is incredibly valuable and shouldn’t be shrugged off as just another currency. 

Online Casino Gaming – Yes we said! You can play all the best land based casino games online and make money. Imagine having access to a world of the latest hottest gaming releases and all for free or for an incredibly lucrative money making avenue. You get to have fun, learn how to play like a pro and even stand the chance of winning a seat at the WSOP table if you perfect poker. Find out more…

Savings

You could be making money from yourself and you don’t even know about it. Find out about opening a savings account and having it linked up to your account. Many banks offer a sort of ‘bank your change’ service where every transaction is deducted, the remainder of the cash is rounded off and the odd amount is transferred into your savings account. You don’t feel it, you don’t see and before you know it, you have a nest egg that you yourself have created. 

Creating a Second Hand Facebook Page 

Don’t throw all your old stuff out, sell it for next to nothing and transfer the funds into your savings account. By the end of the year, you will have way more than you bargained on. Don’t check your account, leave it as a year-end surprise and then grab that holiday you have been lusting after!

Before you go, the most important thing you have to remember is that whatever you do, you have to gamble responsibly. That’s because responsible gambling is important.

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