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I reckon there are a lot of disgruntle wives out there which one of which prompted me to focus this week’s Friday Funnies on disgruntled wife jokes. The first of my disgruntled wife jokes takes place in an English courtroom.

Disgruntled Wife Jokes #1

A Nottingham woman (pictured below) has lost her case at Nottingham magistrates court today after she tried to sue the United Kingdom National Health Service Queens Medical Centre after her husband went in for an operation which left him unable to have sex with her afterwards.

Mrs Minger of Bulwell aged 67 said to reporters outside court this afternoon “Me and me ‘usband Fred ‘ave ‘ad bangin’ sex till ‘e went ta ‘ospital and ‘ad ‘is operation, now ‘e’s not interested ‘n me and it’s all down to them twats”!

The surgeon who performed the operation and attended court to give evidence said: “all we did was remove Fred’s cataracts”! Read the rest of this entry

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Wife Jokes Friday Funnies #181

For this weeks Friday Funnies I thought I would post a few wife jokes. This first one is about your typical nagging wife.

Wife Jokes #1 The Nagging Wife

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning ’til night she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule.

He ploughed a lot……..

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began nagging him again. Complain, nag, complain, nag – it just went on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head……..killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd.. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.

This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said, ‘Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I’d nod my head in agreement.’

‘And what about the men?’ the minister asked.

‘They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.’

After the joke about the Italian Funeral I kind of saw this coming but I laughed out loud all the same.

Then there is this particular wife jokes where a wife is being totally honest with her husband,

wife jokes

This next wife jokes is a killer! It’s about a wife who is home alone and is continually being harassed by a complete stranger.

Wife Jokes #2 Wife Home Alone

A woman is at home when she hears someone knocking at her door. She goes to the door opens it and sees a man standing there. He asks the lady, “Do you have a Vagina?” She slams the door in disgust.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door, its the same man and he asks the same question to the woman, “Do you have a Vagina?” She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tell him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells his wife in a loving and concerned voice, “Honey, I’ll take a sickie tomorrow, just incase this guy shows up again.”

The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both ran for the door. The husband whisperes to the wife, “Honey, im going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to a see where he’s going with this.” She nods yes to her husband and opens the door. Sure enough the same fellow is standing there, he asks,

“Do you have a Vagina?”

“Yes I do.” says the lady.

The man replies, “Good, would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife’s alone and start using yours!”  :lol_tb:

OK, now it’s over to you. Which joke did you like best? Don’t forget to share this weeks Wife Jokes with all your friends. Just use your favourite Social Media icon below.

Don’t forget where to find some funny sports jokes.

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