Funny Short Jokes Friday Funnies #267


Everyone likes short jokes, especially if they’re really funny short jokes. That being the case I’ve decided to devote this weeks Friday Funnies to a whole heap of really funny short jokes.

In case you’re wondering where these funny jokes come from, I get them from emails that people send me. I know I may have mentioned that before but I’m putting it out there for all the new readers that continue to flood my Friday Funnies posts.

So, without further ado lets checkout my funniest funny short jokes.

The Funniest Funny Short Jokes

Picked her up in a night club. She Looked like a woman. Smelled like a woman.. Danced like a woman. She even kissed like a woman! But as we arrived back at her apartment she reversed her car into a tight parking slot in one fluid movement!
That’s when I thought – Hang on just a minute!

I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he’s only got one arm bless him. I shouted, “Where you off to Charlie?”

He said, “I’m off to change a light bulb.”
Well I just cracked up, couldn’t stop laughing, then said, “That’s gonna be a bit awkward isn’t it?”

“Not really,” he said. “I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard.”

I’ve accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.
My next crap could spell disaster.

Went out last night and got really wasted.
I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring and farting … so, at least I got home OK.

Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.funny short jokes

“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer..

“German,” she replies.

“Occupation?

“No, just here for a few days.”

I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.
I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn’t know what to do.
Then I remembered – the local cafe serve breakfast until 11.30.

“Jesus Loves You.”
Nice to hear in church but not in a Mexican prison.

I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.

She said, “I would like to come back as a cow.”

I said, “You’re obviously not listening.”

And so ends another Friday Funnies. I hope today’s post brought a smile to your face and that you liked it enough to share it with your friends.

You can always find more funny jokes over at my sports betting site. If you have time to kill you may even want to check out the rest of my Friday Funnies posts. Just keep in mind there’s a whole lot of them. :tongue_laugh_ee:

 

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Fun Jokes Friday Funnies #259


Folks just love fun jokes. That’s what makes Friday Funnies so popular. It’s also why I’ve been able to keep Friday Funnies going for almost 5 years! Here are some more fun jokes finish the working week off.

Fun Jokes That Make You Laugh

The first one is about your typical husband and wife :smoke_tb:

She was outside pulling weeds on a hot summer day when her husband walked up and asked her what they were having for dinner.
Irritated by the thought of him sitting in the air conditioned house while she laboured away on the weeds, she snapped, “I can’t believe you’re asking me about supper right now!  Why don’t you just pretend I’m out of town, go inside and make dinner yourself!”

So he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, potatoes, garlic bread, and a tall beer.

His wife walked in just about the time he was finishing up and asked, “Where’s my dinner?”

“Huh? I thought you were out of town!” :lol_ee:

The next fun joke takes place in an Irish classroom.

Somewhere in Ireland a teacher asks her class: “Can anyone tell me the name of Robin Hood’s girlfriend? ”

Young Paddy raises his hand and says, “Trudy Glenn Miss”.

“No Paddy, ” says the teacher.  “The answer is Maid Marion “.

But Miss, what about that song we used to sing: “Robin Hood, Robin Hood riding Trudy Glenn”.

I bet you were singing this as you read it weren’t you? :tongue_laugh_ee:

I found this fun quote in an email and I used The Creator to put the following fun image together.

Fun jokes

Check the last of the fun jokes out. :wink_ee:

I’ll never forget how happy I was when I saw my missus walking down the aisle towards me…………..

My heart was beating fast and the excitement was hard to bear.

It seemed to take an age, but eventually there she was, standing beside me.

I gave her a loving smile and said,

“Get that trolley over here, love. They’re doing 3 cartons of beer, for the price of 2!!! :drunk_tb:

Not at all what you expected, right?

Check out these really funny sports jokes

Have a great weekend and don’t forget to share this weeks Friday Funnies with all your friends.

 

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Funny Images And Videos Friday Funnies #252


Funny Images That Make You Laugh

For today’s Friday Funnies I thought I would post some funny images and videos. Some of the funny images were put together with the aid of The Creator.

The first of the funny images is one of Myla the Mini Dachshund, my daughter and her partners little baby.

Funny Dachshund funny image

The photo was taken yesterday during the Australia Day celebrations. Luckily for Myla they hadn’t actually fired up the barbie yet. Myla is the funniest pup out there. If you love dachshunds you should visit Myla’s Instagram page by clicking the link above.

The next of my funny images is a little late as far as Christmas is concerned but I love it because it has a go at our politicians and has a lot of truth to it. :tongue_laugh_ee:

Funny Images

I had a funny thing happen to me today. I was sitting on a bench next to a homeless man, I asked him how he ended up this way.

He said:   “Up until this last week, I still had it all !!! A cook cooked my meals, my room was cleaned, my clothes were washed, pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV, Internet, I went to the gym, the pool, the library, I could still go to school. . … ”

I asked him,   “What happened?  Drugs?   Alcohol?   Divorce?”

“Oh No, nothing like that” he said, “No, no … I just got out of prison !”

Funny Videos

Now for the first of my funny videos.


That video is funny because women are supposed to be so bloody good at multi-tasking. :hey_you:

I love the next video, partly because it has a really hot sheila in it but mainly because its so bloody funny. It’s actually a commercial.


Finally, the last of the funny images.

I hope you enjoyed these funny images enough to share them with your friends.

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