For this weeks Friday Funnies I thought I would share some funny fairy jokes with you. Actually I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve covered fairy jokes. This weeks Friday Funnies about fairy jokes was inspired by the first fairy joke that I received in an email today.
Funny Fairy Jokes
A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’
The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.’
The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: ‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.’
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish! So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!… The husband became 92 years old.
Of course there is s moral to this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female!
The email ended with “SEND THIS TO A WOMAN WHO NEEDS A GOOD LAUGH . AND TO ANY MAN WHO CAN HANDLE IT!” Sounds like a pretty good idea to me.
I found the next fairy joke pretty funny as well.
An elderly lady was rocking on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when a magical fairy suddenly appeared before her and offered to grant her three wishes.
“Well,” said the woman, “I really would like to be rich.”
*POOF* Her rocking chair turned to solid gold.
“I sure wouldn’t mind being a young, beautiful princess,” she said.
*POOF* She was immediately turned into a beautiful young princess with a stunning crown of jewels.
“Your third wish?” asked the beautiful fairy, just as the old woman’s cat wandered across the porch in front of them. “Ohh,” the woman exclaimed, “Could you possibly turn my cat into a handsome young prince?”
*POOF* Standing before her was a young man far more handsome than anyone could ever imagine. She stared at him in awe, totally smitten. As he moved towards her, she could feel her knees weaken. He bent down, lightly brushed his lips across her ear, she could feel his warm breath as he whispered, “I’ll bet you’re sorry you had me neutered!”
Fairy jokes not your cup of tea? Perhaps you’ll get a kick out of my latest funny sports joke. Don’t forget to help the funny fairy jokes along by sharing it with your friends. I’m sure they would love you to brighten their day.
I have to say that I’m a proud Aussie. This is because as a rule Aussies are a pretty good bunch. Sure there are some wankers out there but they’re a minority. Generally we’re pretty generous and try to help whenever we can. We haven’t always been that way. Historically we’ve made mistakes but there are dark historical spots in all countries.
I actually came across one of those dark spots in history in a FaceBook post. The darkness was the way we treated one of our own, Peter Norman, when he stood up to do the right thing and was pretty well crucified for it. I was only 10 at the time and don’t remember it but am very proud of Peter Norman although shameful of the way we treated him.
There are many reasons I’m a proud Aussie. I live in a beautiful country full of Aussies who excel in what they do. This includes sports, current legends like Tim Cahill who’s had an enormous impact for the Socceroos at the World Cup and Sally Pearson.
We’ve got a lot of popular exports in sport as well including Jarryd Hayne who’s gone from NRL to NFL.
Lets not forget our acting talent as well. People like Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman, the late Heath Ledger, Simon Baker, Naomi Watts, Paul Hogan and the list goes on and on.
Then there’s Craig Revel Horwood, a renowned Aussie dancer, choreographer and theatre director.
A lot of the stuff we take for granted is because of Aussie inventions. Take Wi-Fi for example. We owe that to a bloke called John O’Sullivan.
Aussies developed the bionic ear, the first race cam, the baby safety capsule, spray on skin to help burn victims. There are also inventions Aussies take for granted that others probably have never heard of, like the Hills Hoist, something that I have in my own back yard,
Yeah, there’s so many reasons that make me proud to be an Australian.
As Friday Funnies rolls around once again I thought I’d just post some funny stuff that I hope you’ll find amusing. The first bit of funny stuff happens on a train trip where an American tries ti have a bit of a go at an Englishman,
Funny Stuff #1
It was on a train trip from London to Manchester where an American was berating ab Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment.
“The trouble with you English is that you are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us. Look at me: I’m me! I have a little Italian in me, a bit of Greek blood, a little Irish and some Spanish blood. What do you say to that?”
The Englishman lowered his newspaper and replied, “How very sporting of your mother.”
I reckon that’s one for the English!
The next bit of funny stuff is some simple statistics that found their way into my inbox concerning the introduction of full body scanning at airports.
Funny Stuff #2
December 2014 Statistics On Airport Full Body Screening
It was also discovered that 308 politicians had no balls.
Thought you’d like to know.
The next bit of funny stuff is something I put together from a joke someone sent me.
Apparently the last bit of funny stuff is a true story.
A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.
When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan. The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with ‘Carnation Milk is best of all.’ She thought to herself, I know everything there is to know about milk and dairy farms. I can do this! She sent in her entry, and several weeks later a black car pulled up in front of her house.
A large man got out, knocked on her door, and said, “Ma’am, the president of Carnation milk absolutely LOVED your entry. So much, in fact, that we are here to award you $1,000, even though we will not be able to use it for our advertisements!”
He did, however, have one printed up to hang on his office wall and here it is:
Yeah, I reckon I would buy Carnation milk if they ran that ad!
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