Funny Poem Friday Funnies #276


Funny PoemI never really liked poetry until one day I decided to write a poem on this very blog. It wasn’t a funny poem as such, more about the difference between young and old and centered around blogging. I called my first poem Blogs, Blogging, Young Man Old Man, Never The Twain Shall Meet. Yeah, I know, the title is a little long, but like I said it was my first poem.

Poetry comes in handy at times when you want to vent your frustration, like the time I wrote the Google Sucks poem. Who know’s, perhaps some of you will find that funny. :wink_ee:

Then there was the one called, Man’s Struggle To Control His Urges, which I meant to be a funny poem. Then there was My Passionate Encounter which I really meant to be a funny poem. You can see all my poems here.

Enough about my poetry, this post isn’t all about me, it’s about a short and truly funny poem, one called Timbuktu! This funny poem actually comes with a story on how it all came about.

Timbuktu – A Funny Poem

The Australian Poetry Competition had come down to two finalists – a university graduate and an old aboriginal.

They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word.
The word was ‘ TIMBUKTU ‘

First to read his poem was the university graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan;
Men on camels two by two,
Destination Timbuktu .

The crowd went crazy! No way could the old man top that, they thought.

The aboriginal calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

Me and Tim a huntin’ went,
Met three whores in a pop up tent;
They were three, and we were two,
So I bucked one, and Tim buktu.

The aboriginal won hands down.

Don’t forget, I have heaps of really funny sports jokes.

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Fireman Sex Joke Friday Funnies #275


Today’s Friday Funnies begins with an email I got today entitled Fireman Sex. I’ve written the Fireman Sex joke as close as possible complete with images because I thought the fireman sex images made the joke.

If you’re wondering why I’m using the words ‘fireman sex so often it’s all to do with SEO. The images also have a ‘fireman sex tag and to top it all off I need to include it in th
Fireman sex joke

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, “You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we’re on the fire truck ready to go.

Fireman sex truck

“From now on when I say BELL 1

I want you to strip naked.

When I say BELL 2

I want you to jump in bed.

And when I say BELL 3

We are going to make love all night.
“The next night he came home from work and yelled

” BELL 1!” The wife promptly took all her clothes off.

naked woman

When he yelled “BELL 2!”, the wife jumped into bed.

When he yelled ” BELL 3!”, they began making love.

After a few minutes the wife yelled “BELL 4!”

“What the hell is BELL 4?” asked the husband?

naked fireman

“ROLL OUT MORE HOSE,” she replied “YOU’RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE.”
lauging mouse

To all you teetotalers out there did you know that drinking tea is more dangerous than drinking beer? This guy has proof! Here is what he has to say.

I got this other email that was full of saying that are found on signs all over the world. I don’t know how accurate they are but some of them are pretty funny. Here’s a sign that was found inside a Bangkok dry cleaner.

This of course is the perfect lead up to the following really funny video about a couple taking their clothes off in a laundromat.


That’s it for this weeks Friday Funnies #272. That’s a hell of a lot of Friday Funnies :wink_ee:

If you’re new to Friday Funnies why not tickle your funny bone with more Friday Funnies. Other than that check out these hilarious sports jokes.

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Funny Elderly Jokes Friday Funnies #274


I love funny elderly jokes, which is why I’ve included so many elderly jokes in my Friday Funnies. Because funny elderly jokes are so bloody funny I’ve decided to make this Friday Funnies all about funny elderly jokes.

funny elderly jokes

Funny Elderly Jokes #1

A 90-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”

Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says. A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife. “Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”

“Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”

funny elderly jokes2

Funny Elderly Jokes #2

An elderly couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African black tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When the male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the Penis to 24 inches.

Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, His wife looked at him and said, “How about we try the African String-and-Weight procedure?” The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis.

A few days later, the wife asked the husband, “How is our little Tribal experiment coming along?”

“Well, it looks like we’re about half way there,” he replied.

“Wow, you mean it’s grown to 12 inches?”

“No, it’s turned black.”

Remember, Friday Funnies occur every week on a Friday :wink_ee:

If you’ve missed out on some Friday Funnies you can always catch up here.

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