Orgasm aren’t normally considered to be funny. That’s because people normally associate orgasms with ecstasy than hilarity. That being the case there are times when you can laugh at orgasms. That’s usually when you come across some funny jokes the revolve around orgasms in general.
Orgasms The Funny Side Of Ecstasy
The first one happens to a man sitting next to a woman who is obviously enjoying herself, perhaps a little too much.
A young lady was sat on an airplane when she suddenly sneezed, “Aaaaatchooooooooo! Ooooooh oh yeah.”
The man sat next to her asked if she was okay. She replied, “I’m wonderful, never felt better.”
A short while later she sneezed again, “Aaaaatchoooo! Oh my god! oh yeah!”
Again the man enquired if she was okay. She replied, “Ooooh wonderful, never felt better.”
A few minutes later she does it again, “Aaaatchooooooooooo! Oh uh uh oh yeah oh god yeah!”
The man by this time was a bit concerned, he enquired again, “are you okay? What’s with all the moaning?”
She replied, “I have a medical condition, every time I sneeze, I orgasm.”
“Wow!”, replied the man, “Are you taking anything for it?”
“Yes”, she answered, “Pepper.”
Then there’s this bloke who reckons we’re doing things back to front. This is how he sees it.
I want to live my next life backwards :You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.You work 40 years until you”re too young to work.
You get ready for High School : drink alcohol, party, and you”re generally promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and then…
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in Spa-like conditions – central heating, room service on tap, and then…
You finish off as an orgasm.I rest my case.
I have to admit, life does sound a little better when you look at it that way.
Finally we take a look at a couple of kids impression of an orgasm.
And so ends another Friday Funnies. Sure hope you enjoyed learning all about orgasms.
It’s been a pretty hard week but I always make sure I have enough time to come up with a Friday Funnies post. Today’s Friday Funnies is #167 which means I’ve been doing these posts for over two years. I reckon that’s a pretty good milestone. Truth be told I never thought I’d be able to keep these jokes going for so long. But I’m so glad I have and I plan to keep them coming.
Usually people working for the public service are considered to have a pretty cushy and secure jobs. Unfortunately working for the public service isn’t as safe as it used to be. The following joke tries to poke a bit of fun at those working for the public service.
Public Service Employee Notice For Older People
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much
SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
PS – Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off
Talk about looking at the funny side of acronyms
Now for some funny images that have nothing to do with the public service although I’m sure they’ve passed many of these through internal emails.
Mmm, I wonder if those public servants will take up her offer?
Do courts get it wrong when coming out with their judgments? The obvious answer to the question, do courts get it wrong is yes! Why? Because courts are presided over by judges and judges are human. We all know that humans are fallible and they’re prone to making mistakes. The trouble is that there are times when those mistakes are so bad they’re laughable.
The Courts Get It Wrong With The Woolworth’s Case
The following is one of those cases. It all began when this man, Steven Willmott, decided he was being discriminated against whilst applying online for a petrol station console operator’s position. Apparently he found three of the questions offensive.
What makes the ruling of this case totally unbelievable is those questions were;
His date of birth
Proof of his right to work in Australia
These questions were mandatory, as they usually are, and because he didn’t want to answer them he decided to take Woolworths to court and won! Can you believe that? How in hell can those questions be considered as being discriminatory? Lets look at them individually?
The question of age is very necessary because certain jobs require you to be over 18 to be eligible.
The question of gender? OK, a woman might find that discriminatory if she thought she might not get the job because of her gender but that would be a pretty big stretch,
The third question, proving his right to work in Australia, as far as I’m concerned it totally legitimate. “The company argued that it had a legislative responsibility not to employ unlawful non-citizens, as defined in the Commonwealth Migration Act.” I would have thought that alone would have exonerated them as far as the third point was concerned. Besides, why wouldn’t you divulge that information?
The reason for came about after reading the following article. After some research I managed to find another article where Steven Willmott defended his actions. Apparently it had more to do with his fear of identity theft than anything else. This was because he was required to present his birth certificate, passport and driver’s licence as part of the application.
That kind of makes a bit more sense but even so I feel the judge got it wrong. What do you think?
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