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All About Balance Humour Friday Funnies #230

In life a lot of things have to do with balance. I found this story about balance to be really funny. Balance In The Creation Of The World God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired,  — “Where have you been?” God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,—-  “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.” Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said,   —- “What is it?” “It’s a planet,”  — replied God,   — and I’ve put life on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a place to test ‘Balance.‘” “Balance?” —   inquired Michael, —- “I’m still confused.” God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. “For example,northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I’ve placed a continent of white people, and…

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Julie Andrews Features on Friday Funnies #229

You know how I get the majority of my Friday Funnies from emails my friends send me. Well today is no different. Actually, it is a little different in that I wasn’t sure if the statement made about the contents of this email was actually true. Here’s the email I got today. To commemorate her birthday, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan’s Radio  City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was ‘My Favorite Things’  from the legendary movie ‘Sound Of Music’.   Here are the lyrics she used:  (Sing It!) – If you sing it, its especially hysterical!!! Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting, Walkers and  handrails and new dental fittings, Bundles of magazines tied up in string, These are a few of my favourite things. Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses, Polident and Fixodent and false teeth…

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Mule Trading Friday Funnies #228

Mule Trading Joke Like all my Friday Funnies I got this one in a email. I thought it was pretty funny. I hope you like it. Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Starkville, MS Daily and bought a mule for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day. The next morning the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night.” Curtis & Leroy replied, Well, then just give us our money back.” The farmer said, “Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.” They said, “OK then, just bring us the dead mule.” The farmer asked, “What in the world ya’ll gonna do with a dead mule?” Curtis said, “We gonna raffle him off.” The farmer said, “You can’t raffle off a dead mule!” Leroy said, “We sure can! Heck, we don’t hafta tell nobody he’s dead!”…

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In case you’re wondering why I’ve called this post funny shit is because it’s just another keyword that I’m targeting. Some of you may think I’m crazy because it may piss Google off! Well, as this Too Sexy For Google post will tell you, I now longer care about the Google moral police. So, in the hope that there are people out there searching for funny shit I’ve decided to call Friday Funnies #227 Funny Shit To Make You Laugh! Some Funny Shit To Make You Laugh Have you ever wondered why it’s just not smart to give women shit? I think William Golding said it best when he said…. Do you remember the old saying, If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Well, I found a completely different way to look at it.  Then there’s this image of some funny shit at the Rio Olympics because of the…

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Some Irish Humour Friday Funnies #226

Irish Humour In Jamaica A married Irish couple were on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, ‘You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop..’ So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said to them, ‘I’ ave some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey makes you wild at sex.’ Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn’t need them, being the Sex God that he was. The irishman asked the man, ‘How could sandals make you a sex God?’ The Jamaican replied, ‘Just try dem on, Mon.’ Well, theirishman, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in and tried them on. As soon as…

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People just love jokes that make you laugh. It’s because they love jokes that make you laugh so much that my Friday Funnies series is so popular. Believe it or not it’s now the most popular topic on this blog bringing more traffic than any other topic. I’m hoping that todays Friday Funnies post will continue the jokes that make you laugh tradition. To start off I have a really funny cartoon to show you. Exercise Jokes That Make You Laugh   THE BOTTLE OF WINE & WISDOM The next one is for all of you who are married, were married, wish you were married or wish you were not married!  This is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine. Fred was driving home from one of his business trips, in Northern Arizona, when he saw an elderly Navajo man walking on the side…

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The Mystery Box That Stumped Hillary Clinton When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, “I put a box under the bed. Promise me you will never look in it.” All their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In it were 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash. She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why there was such a box and with those contents. That evening, they were out for a special anniversary dinner. After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, “I’m so sorry, Bill. For all these years, I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I…

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Old Geezer Joke

I’ve done a few old geezer jokes, although I didn’t refer to them as old geezer jokes. Nope, I was more respectful and referred to them as elderly or something. For the purpose of this post they’re old geezer joke just in case someone searches for ‘Old Geezer joke’. Medical Old Geezer Joke A local G.P., now an old geezer, became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: “Dr. Geezer’s clinic. Get your treatment for £500, if not cured, get back £1,000.” Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get £1,000. So he went to Dr.Geezer’s clinic. Dr. Young: “Dr.Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?” Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put…

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About Peter Pelliccia"