Senior Citizens Jokes Friday Funnies #162

This is my 162nd Friday Funnies post! I never thought I would be able to keep it going that long  :drunk_tb: Way back at Friday Funnies #111 I wrote a series of Elderly Jokes. I thought it was time to do another one but this time, for SEO reasons  :cheesey: I’m going to call it senior citizens jokes.

 Senior Citizen Jokes That Make You Laugh

Senior Citizen Joke #1:

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one gentleman, a senior citizen, already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet. He insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.’

Senior Citizen Jokes

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Senior Citizen Joke #2:

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: ‘So I hear you’re getting married?’

‘Yep!’

‘Do I know her?’

‘Nope!’

‘This  woman, is she good looking?’

‘Not really.’

‘Is she a good cook?’

‘Naw, she can’t cook too well.’

‘Does she have lots of money?’

‘Nope! Poor as a church mouse.’

‘Well, then, is she good in bed?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Why in the world do you want to marry her then?’

‘Because she can still drive!’

I know they say priorities change when you become a senior citizen but come on, being able to drive is more important than sex!  :dont_know:

Senior Citizen Joke 2

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And finally, to finish off this weeks Friday Funnies I have one last senior citizen joke for you.

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, ‘You’re really doing great, aren’t you?’

Morris replied, ‘Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.”

The doctor said, ‘I didn’t say that.. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur; be careful.’

Now , before you ‘forget’, share them with your friends who you know could use a good laugh.  :thumbup_ee:

Want more laughs? Check out my funniest sports jokes.

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FlexSqueeze2 How Good Is It Really

This post is actually so much more than just promoting FlexSqueeze2 although that will become apparent as you see just some of the things it can do,

Just last week I showed you how mobile friendly FlexSqueeze2 is. While FlexSqueeze2 is one of many themes that is mobile friendly it doesn’t solve the problem for my websites. That was brought to my attention by Mitch of I’m Just Sharing during one of our many chess games. Speaking of Mitch, you should check his Social Media Won’t Solve Your Problems post.

I’ve got two websites which I designed from the ground up. They took me bloody ages to get up and running. Needless to say both websites are not mobile friendly. I converted one the other day from the old website to the new one which is using the WordPress platform. And of course, FlexSqueeze2. That website was my first ever website, The Elusive Pot Of Gold.

While those old websites took ages to create, and never really looked truly professional, the new one took next to no time and looks pretty bloody good. Best thing was I didn’t have to use any HTML! Because it was too hard to modify the old website I rarely bothered. The new one is so easy to modify I will be able to add new content or update the old content with ease.

To show everyone, especially those not familiar with WordPress, I made a video as I updated my second website, BlogSire. You can see from the video exactly how ‘plug and play’ the FlexSqueeze theme is. I say that because there are some out there who have disputed that fact. Something that I’ve found to be absurd as I have used this theme for ages and have watched it develop into the brilliant theme that it is.

FlexSqueeze2 How good is it

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The image above shows you what Blogsire.com used to look like. The inserts shows how it looks to Google as well as the fact it was far from mobile friendly.

FlexSqueeze2 Has Many Features

It’s true that FlexSqueeze2 has many features, way too many to cover in this post. Some of the features covered in the video below include;

  • The ability to have a full width header. You can select from one of the many headers included in the theme or upload one of your own.
  • The ability to have a unique background of your choice. Usually the background scrolls up as you read the post. You will notice in the video how FlexSqueeze allows the background to remain static. This is great if your background has a company logo or something because it stays in view while they’re reading the post.
  • You can change not only the colour and size of the text but the actual font itself! You can even use Google Fonts.
  • You can have a transparent background which makes your blog look more like a website if that is the look you’re looking for.
  • As you’ve seen from past posts you can have a different header for pages as well as categories.
Creating A Mobile Friendly Website With FlexSqueeze2

The only problem with this option is that you can’t incorporate your html pages into your new mobile friendly website. You could link to them but why would you want to considering they’re not mobile friendly. I’m going to edit the html pages letting readers know they’re a better and more functional website whilst linking to the new websites.

What do you think of those transformations?

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Funniest Irish Jokes Friday Funnies #161


There are many sites out there that will tell you they have the funniest jokes around. Naturally some may believe that to be the case booth’s not always true. Most say they have the funniest Irish jokes because they want Google and the other search engines to send them some traffic.

This is the first time I’ve titled one of my Friday Funnies ‘Funniest Irish Jokes!’ That’s partly because I would love my share of that traffic, but also because I honestly believe this is one of the funniest Irish jokes that I’ve ever come across.

Is This The Funniest Irish Joke Ever?

A farmer named Paddy had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company. In court, the Eversweet Company’s hot-shot solicitor was questioning Paddy.

‘Didn’t you say to the police at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?’ asked the solicitor.
Paddy responded: ‘Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I’d just loaded my fav’rit cow, Bessie, into da… ‘

‘I didn’t ask for any details’, the solicitor interrupted. ‘Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine!’?’

Paddy said, ‘Well, I’d just got Bessie into da trailer and I was drivin’ down da road…. ‘

The solicitor interrupted again and said, ‘Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene

that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.’

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Paddy’s answer and said to the solicitor: ‘I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie’.

Paddy thanked the Judge and proceeded. ‘Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my fav’rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin’ her down de road when

this huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side.

I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder. By Jaysus I was hurt, very bad like, and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie

moanin’ and groanin’. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.

Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moanin’ and groanin’ too, so he went over to her. After he looked at her,

and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, ‘How are you feelin?’

‘Now wot da fock would you say?’

Don’t you love a great punch line?  :tongue_laugh_ee: You have to admit that would have to rank pretty high in the funniest Irish joke category.  :thumbup_ee:

More Funniest Irish Jokes

You could share these on Pinterest or even Facebook. Just use the social icons sliding there on the left.  :drunk_tb:

Funniest Irish Joke

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If that didn’t put a smile on your face this one will.

funniest irish jokes make you laugh

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Thanks for dropping in for my selection of the Funniest Irish Jokes. I hope you share these with your friends. Don’t forget to have a great weekend.

If you’re looking for some more jokes why not check out these funniest sports jokes.

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