Bagpiper Joke Friday Funnies #291


Today’s Friday Funnies is a little different than you’re usual weekly jokes. It’s all about a moving story about a bagpiper, one that has an amusing end, which is why I called it the bagpiper joke.

The Bagpiper Joke A Moving Story?

I love this story. Lay down whatever is bothering you, breathe in the fresh air while you read this very moving story.

Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life.

As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologised to the men for being late.

I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before, for this homeless man.

And as I played “Amazing Grace”, the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, “I never seen anything like that before, and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

Apparently, I’m still lost … it’s a man thing.

When you have stopped, laughing, be sure to forward this on to others who would enjoy a good story.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

See, I told you this moving story was really a bagpiper joke, which you probably forgot as you were reading it, right.

Here’s a couple of bagpiper joke cartoons that I reckon you’ll enjoy.

bagpiper joke bagpiper joke

Happy Friday Funnies guys. Want more jokes? Check out my my really funny sports jokes or check out the rest of the Friday Funnies posts.

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Parrot Jokes Friday Funnies #290


For todays Friday Funnies I have two parrot jokes. The first of the parrot jokes is the clean version which I got in an email today.

Parrot Jokes – Curing parrot Of Filth Language

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.  Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. 

John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary. 

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. 

Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. 

Fearing that he’d killed the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly,

“May I ask what the turkey did?”  

The second of the parrot jokes was from back in my high school days, it went something like this….

Parrot Jokes – The Spying Parrot

There was this bloke who was sure that his wife was cheating on him. This was before the days of hidden wireless cameras. He went to a pet shop and asked the owner if he had any exceptionally smart parrots. After explaining why he wanted such a parrot the pet shop owner showed him this parrot with no legs.

Bloke: Come off it man. That parrot is next to useless, how is he going to see what is going on if her can’t sit on the perch?

The pet shop owner explains the parrot would hang on by his penis. Reluctantly the bloke buys the parrot, explains what is expected of him and places him in a spot where he could see both the front door and the bedroom.

The next day after his wife goes shopping he goes up to the parrot and asks him what went on.

Parrot: “Well, the doorbell rang and when your wife answered the door she let this man in. She then threw herself into his arms.”

Bloke: “Yeah, then what happened?’

Parrot: “Well there was all this passionate kissing and your wife put her hand down his crotch”

Bloke: “Yeah, yeah, then hat happened?”

Parrot: “First she rips off his shirt and then he pulls off her t-shirt and her perfectly formed firm breasts popped out!”

Bloke: “Shit, don’t stop now, then what happened?”

Parrot: “I don’t know man, thats when I cracked a stack and fell off the perch!

Finally, my last of the parrot jokes is one I put together using the Creator.

parrot jokes

This was another Friday Funnies that had a parrot in it. That post was called Irish Daredevils!  You should really check that post out for the Wisdom Of An Old Man Joke :wink_ee: Other than that you should also take a look at my really funny sports jokes.

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Best Priced VPN?


A while back I wrote a post on what I believed to be the Best VPN for Mac users. At the time of writing that post MacSentry only had servers in 5 major cities. That post also offered new users a 50% discount! That discount probably made it the best priced VPN. Unfortunately that offer expired in February.

Cyber Special Best Priced VPN

best price for VPNSince then MacSentry now has servers in 18 cities! Not only that, as an affiliate I’ve just been notified of their special which surely puts them way up there as far as best priced VPN is concerned.

Their latest VPN Promo is offering new customers a whole year of safe, secure, online surfing for only $24.99. You have to be quick though because this offer runs out this Saturday 2nd December. There are some very important reasons listed on their site as to why everyone should be using a VPN (Virtual Private Network)

Secure Connection

This is especially important for those of you who use public wi-fi as this is when you’re most likely to be hacked! With a VPN you no longer have to worry about someone stealing your identity, hacking your passwords or misappropriating personal data that your uploading or downloading. Best thing is that once a member you can protect your Mac, iPhone or iPad.

Best Priced VPN

Increased privacy

With a VPN no-one will ever know who you are. No more having to worry about big brother spying on you, trying to see what sitesyou’re visiting. With a VPN you’re like a super sleuth Ninja that absolutely no-one can keep tabs on.

Unrestricted Internet

Their site says this about unrestricted Internet: “Unrestricted and unlimited access to all your favorite sites like Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter from anywhere. Prevent websites you visit targeting you with manipulative prices and messages.”

A VPN can actually take you to places that have been previously denied to you because of where you live! I know it used to annoy the shit out of me because certain sites were denied to me because I lived in Australia. I don’t know if that has ever happened to you but if it has then a VPN is the answer to this problem.

Remember, you chance at snatching the best priced VPN is limited so click this LINK to get it now.

Oh, if you’re a Window user, don’t fret, they now have a Windows version of their VPN software.

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