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Some Irish Humour Friday Funnies #226


Irish Humour In Jamaica

A married Irish couple were on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.

From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, ‘You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop..’
So the married couple walked in.

The Jamaican said to them, ‘I’ ave some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey makes you wild at sex.’

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn’t need them, being the Sex God that he was.

The irishman asked the man, ‘How could sandals make you a sex God?’

The Jamaican replied, ‘Just try dem on, Mon.’

Well, theirishman, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn’t seen before!!

In the blink of an eye, the Irishman grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over the table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican’s thighs.

The Jamaican began screaming in panic:\ ‘You got dam on de wrong feet!’

Irish Humour In Dublin The Doctor Is In

A doctor in Dublin? Wanted to get off work, so he approached his assistant? ? “Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients”.

“Yes, sir!” answers Murphy.

The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: “So, Murphy, how was your day?”

Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. “The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol.”

“Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?” asks the doctor.

“The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir” says Murphy.

“Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this and what about the third one?” asks the doctor.

“Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in so she does. Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everything including her bra and her knickers and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: ‘HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen a man!’

“Tunderin’ lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?” asks the doctor.

“I put drops in her eyes.”And sent her to Spec savers.

Just to finish off I’ve put something together using The Creator.

Wussups Irish Humour

Continue here…

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Jokes That Make You Laugh Friday Funnies #225


People just love jokes that make you laugh. It’s because they love jokes that make you laugh so much that my Friday Funnies series is so popular. Believe it or not it’s now the most popular topic on this blog bringing more traffic than any other topic.

I’m hoping that todays Friday Funnies post will continue the jokes that make you laugh tradition.

To start off I have a really funny cartoon to show you.

Exercise Jokes That Make You Laugh

funny jokes that make you laugh



The next one is for all of you who are married, were married, wish you were married or wish you were not married!  This is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine.

Fred was driving home from one of his business trips, in Northern Arizona, when he saw an elderly Navajo man walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one, he stopped the car and asked the Navajo man if he would like a ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the Indian got into the car.

Resuming the journey, Fred tried – in vain – to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo man.  The old man just sat silently, looking intently at everything he saw, studying every little detail, until he noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Fred.

“What in bag?”- asked the old man.

Fred looked down at the brown bag and said: “It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my wife.”

The Navajo man was silent for another moment or two.  Then, speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, he said: – “Good trade!”

Do you remember the Mary had a little lamb nursery rhyme? Here is a version that is a little different.

.more jokes that make you laugh

How about the Mary had a little lamb one?

lamb jokes that make you laugh

Then there is always Humpty Dumpty,

funny nursery rymes

Finally, have you ever heard the term being up shit creek without a paddle? Well apparently it actually exists! Or so the email I got the other day says. Apparently It is just outside Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, USA.

Shit Creek USA

Somehow you just always knew it was out there … somewhere.  :smoke_tb:

If you’re looking for more laughs you should check out my funny sports jokes.


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The Mystery Box That Stumped Hillary Clinton

When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, “I put a box under the bed. Promise me you will never look in it.”

All their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In it were 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash.

She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why there was such a box and with those contents.

That evening, they were out for a special anniversary dinner. After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, “I’m so sorry, Bill. For all these years, I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, why do you keep the 3 beer cans in the box?”

Bill thought for a while and said, “I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again.”

Hillary was shocked, but thought, “Hmmm, Jennifer, Paula and Monica. And since I know he’s addicted to sex, three times is not too bad.” She said, “OK Bill, I guess I can forgive you.

Bill thanked her for being so understanding. They hugged and made their peace.”

A little while later Hillary asked Bill, “So why do you have all that money in the box?”

He answered, “Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling centre.”

All jokes aside I’m rooting for Hillary to win the Presidency because I think it would be a real joke if Trump won not to mention an utter catastrophe.

On a brighter note, what one little girl said when asked what her father did.  :lol_tb:

Wassup Friday Funnies


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