Pregnant Blonde Joke Friday Funnies #144

The Pregnant Blonde

The other day my neighbour, who is blonde, came running up  to me in the driveway just jumping for joy! I didn’t know why she was jumping for joy. I thought, what the heck, and I starting   jumping up   and down along with her.

She said,  “Sally,  I have some really great news!”

I said, “Great. Tell me why you’re so happy.”

She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant!

I knew that she had been trying for a while so I told her, “That’s great! I couldn’t be happier for you!”

Then she said, “There’s more.”

I asked, “What do you mean ‘more’?”

She said, “Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have twins  Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said…

“That was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack. Both tests came out positive!”

Next I got hold of Sexy Sal and managed to get the following off her.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

pregnant blonde joke Sexy Sals blonde joke

The next image isn’t exactly funny. Well, it could be, it all depends how you look at it. :wink_ee: It’s all to do with the age gap between us, the oldies, and them, those whipper snappers who think they know it all but in reality still have a bloody lot to learn. The following is a bit of sound advice.

wise advice

And finally we have something from the mouth of virtual babes.

The Bible

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through

the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object

and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.

‘Mama, look what I found,’ the boy called out.

‘What have you got there, dear?’

With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered, ‘I think it’s Adam’s underwear!’

And so ends another Friday Funnies. Hope you enjoyed it enough to share it with your friends.

 

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Marriage counselling can be a serious affair. Usually people will resort to marriage counselling as a last resort. I’m sure this was so for the couple in the following story. A story which will show you the funny side of marriage counselling.

 Eileen and her husband Bob went for counselling after 25 years of marriage.

When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking Eileen to stand, 

Embraced her, unbuttoned her blouse and bra, put his hands on her breasts and massaged them thoroughly, while kissing her passionately as her 

Husband Bob watched with a raised eyebrow!

Eileen shut up, buttoned up her blouse, and quietly sat down while basking in the glow of being highly aroused.

The therapist turned to Bob and said, ‘This is what your wife needs at least three times a week.. Can you do this?’

Bob thought for a moment and replied, ‘Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays … 

But on Tuesdays ,Thursdays and Fridays I play bowls .. 

I think the following cartoon is a cool example of the funny side of marriage counselling too. :cool:

More funny side of marriage counselling

funny side of marriage counselling

And, just to finish off this Friday Funnies I’ve found a cool video that once again shows the funny side of marriage counselling.

And so ends another Friday Funnies. I hope you enjoyed this weeks post about the funny side of marriage counselling. Why not share it with your friends so they can have a good laugh as well?

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Great Jokes Friday Funnies #142

It’s been a pretty busy week this week. I produced a couple of videos, one which you’ll see at the bottom of this post, written several posts and worked a fair bit around the house. Even so I’ve still had time to find some great jokes for this weeks Friday Funnies.

Have you ever picked up a girl, gone over to her place and then noticed some blokes photo on the nightstand? Well this first great joke has a lot to do with that awkward situation.

Great Jokes That Make You Laugh

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman’s
nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. ‘Is this your husband?’ he nervously asks.

‘No, silly,’ she replies, snuggling up to him.

‘Your boyfriend, then?’ he continues.

‘No, not at all,’ she says, nibbling away at his ear.

‘Is it your dad or your brother?’ he inquires, hoping to be reassured.

‘No, no, no! You are so hot when you’re jealous!’ she answers.

‘Well, who in the hell is he, then?’ he demands.

She whispers in his ear ‘That’s me before the surgery.’

As part of this weeks great jokes I have a few images for you. The first one is about mobile phones. This one is funny because it’s so true.

Great jokes

Funny as that image I have to admit that it’s a pretty sorry state of affairs.

Have you every had someone ask you a really stupid question? This one happened at a doctor’s office.

great jokes at the doctors officeOK, the next video isn’t really full of great great jokes. It does contain some of those special frozen moments in time. You know the ones. When a photographer manages to take a perfectly timed photo! Usually when the subject is caught in a compromising situation. Well, I managed to find some of those photos and I’ve added a bit of dialogue in an attempt to make them funny.

I originally put this video together fas part of my “Photos Of Hot Sports Women” post.

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