I have to say that I’m a proud Aussie. This is because as a rule Aussies are a pretty good bunch. Sure there are some wankers out there but they’re a minority. Generally we’re pretty generous and try to help whenever we can. We haven’t always been that way. Historically we’ve made mistakes but there are dark historical spots in all countries.
I actually came across one of those dark spots in history in a FaceBook post. The darkness was the way we treated one of our own, Peter Norman, when he stood up to do the right thing and was pretty well crucified for it. I was only 10 at the time and don’t remember it but am very proud of Peter Norman although shameful of the way we treated him.
There are many reasons I’m a proud Aussie. I live in a beautiful country full of Aussies who excel in what they do. This includes sports, current legends like Tim Cahill who’s had an enormous impact for the Socceroos at the World Cup and Sally Pearson.
We’ve got a lot of popular exports in sport as well including Jarryd Hayne who’s gone from NRL to NFL.
Lets not forget our acting talent as well. People like Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman, the late Heath Ledger, Simon Baker, Naomi Watts, Paul Hogan and the list goes on and on.
Then there’s Craig Revel Horwood, a renowned Aussie dancer, choreographer and theatre director.
A lot of the stuff we take for granted is because of Aussie inventions. Take Wi-Fi for example. We owe that to a bloke called John O’Sullivan.
Aussies developed the bionic ear, the first race cam, the baby safety capsule, spray on skin to help burn victims. There are also inventions Aussies take for granted that others probably have never heard of, like the Hills Hoist, something that I have in my own back yard,
Yeah, there’s so many reasons that make me proud to be an Australian.
As Friday Funnies rolls around once again I thought I’d just post some funny stuff that I hope you’ll find amusing. The first bit of funny stuff happens on a train trip where an American tries ti have a bit of a go at an Englishman,
Funny Stuff #1
It was on a train trip from London to Manchester where an American was berating ab Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment.
“The trouble with you English is that you are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lip makes you above the rest of us. Look at me: I’m me! I have a little Italian in me, a bit of Greek blood, a little Irish and some Spanish blood. What do you say to that?”
The Englishman lowered his newspaper and replied, “How very sporting of your mother.”
I reckon that’s one for the English!
The next bit of funny stuff is some simple statistics that found their way into my inbox concerning the introduction of full body scanning at airports.
Funny Stuff #2
December 2014 Statistics On Airport Full Body Screening
It was also discovered that 308 politicians had no balls.
Thought you’d like to know.
The next bit of funny stuff is something I put together from a joke someone sent me.
Apparently the last bit of funny stuff is a true story.
A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.
When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan. The producers wanted a rhyme beginning with ‘Carnation Milk is best of all.’ She thought to herself, I know everything there is to know about milk and dairy farms. I can do this! She sent in her entry, and several weeks later a black car pulled up in front of her house.
A large man got out, knocked on her door, and said, “Ma’am, the president of Carnation milk absolutely LOVED your entry. So much, in fact, that we are here to award you $1,000, even though we will not be able to use it for our advertisements!”
He did, however, have one printed up to hang on his office wall and here it is:
Yeah, I reckon I would buy Carnation milk if they ran that ad!
When I first started Friday Funnies it was all about finding really funny jokes to make you laugh. I didn’t know way back when I started that I would be able to keep the Friday Funnies series going for so long. Today’s Friday Funnies is #184 and I continue to find really jokes to make you laugh.
I suppose I shouldn’t really be all that surprised as there are probably millions of jokes out there. Some of those jokes probably aren’t all that funny though. At least not to me! Hopefully the jokes that I publish are jokes that make you laugh and that they continue to do so.
More Really Funny Jokes
There are many types of jokes that make people laugh. I found this one pretty funny. It even comes with a cute image that adds to the humour. It’s kind of a new interpretation of being poor. ;)
Bought vs Homemade (it just doesn’t get much cuter than this… note the expression in the picture)
Six year old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first family planning lesson at school. Her mother, very interested, asks: “Oh… How did it go”
“I nearly died of shame!” she answers. “Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage. Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital.”
Her mother answers laughingly, “But that’s no reason to be ashamed.”
“No… but I can’t tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!”
Pretty cute right? I think you’re going to find the next joke pretty funny as well.
Baptising an Irishman
An Irishman is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when becomes upon a preacher baptising people in the river. He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon, he asks the drunk, “Are you ready to find Jesus?”
The drunk shouts,”Yes, I am.”
So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him back and asks, “Brother,
have you found Jesus?”
The drunk replies,”No, I haven’t found Jesus!”
The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again, but for a little longer. Then again pulls him out of the water and asks, “Have you found Jesus, brother?”
The drunk answers,”No, I haven’t found Jesus!”
By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk again — but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his arms and legs about, he
pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, “For the love of God, have you found Jesus?”
The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water, catches his breath, and says to the preacher, “Are you sure this is where he fell in??*
Yep, even when they’re drunk the Irish are bloody funny.
And so ends another Friday Funnies. I hope you got a kick out of it. Don’t forget, theres always more funny sports jokes at my sports betting site.
Above all, don’t forget to have a great and safe weekend!
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