Funniest Joke Friday Funnies #158

There are heaps of jokes that claim to be the funniest joke around. Truth be told though like beauty is in the eye of the beholder the grading the funniest joke all depends on the recipient. As an Aussie I reckon this weeks Friday Funnies is one of the funniest jokes I’ve heard. Thing is what I consider to be the funniest joke as an Aussie may not appeal to a Yank or even a European. I’d be really interested as to whether you think this is one of the funniest jokes you’ve heard.

Funniest Joke Drinking With Jesus

An Australian, an Irishman and an Englishman were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar. It was a man.

The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before, when suddenly the Irishman cried out ‘My God, I know who that man is. It’s Jesus!’

The others looked again and, sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table. The Irishman calls out, ‘Hey! You!!! Are you Jesus?’

The man looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. Yes, I am Jesus’ he says.

The Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him ‘I’d like you to give Jesus over there a pint of Guinness from me..’ So the bartender pours Jesus a Guinness and takes it over to his table.

Jesus looks over, raises his glass, smiles thank you and drinks.

The Englishman then calls out, ‘Errr, excuse me Sir, but would you be Jesus?’

Jesus smiles and says, ‘Yes, I am Jesus.’

The Englishman beckons the bartender and tells him to send over a Pint of Newcastle Brown Ale for Jesus. This the bartender duly does.

As before, Jesus accepts the drink and smiles over at the men.

Then the Australian calls out, ‘Oi, you! D’ya reckon you’re Jesus, or what?’

Jesus nods and says, ‘Yes, I am Jesus.’

The Australian is mighty impressed and has the bartender send over Pot of Victoria Bitter for Jesus, this he accepts with pleasure.

Some time later, after finishing the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches the three men.
He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement. Oh God, the arthritis is gone,’ he says. ‘The arthritis I’ve had for years is gone. It’s a miracle!’

Jesus then shakes the hand of the Englishman, thanking him for the Newcastle Brown Ale. Upon letting go, the Englishman’s eyes widen in shock. By Jove’, he exclaims, ‘The migraine I’ve had for over 40 years is completely gone. It’s a Miracle!’

Jesus then approaches the Australian, who has a terrified look on his face.

The Aussie whispers. ‘Piss off mate, I’m on Workers Comp’

Funniest Image

funniest joke

That’s it for this weeks Friday Funnies. What do you reckon, do they stack up in the funniest joke category?

 

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Giantlottos Making Money For Bloggers

Have you seen the latest addition to this blog. You can see it on the top of the sidebar on the right. Those who know me know that my biggest income earner are my online lottery sites. I had a bit of a chat with my Giantlottos affiliate manager and he said he could increase my affiliate earnings even more.

Become A Giantlottos Affiliate

He sent me a code snippet that I placed on top of my sidebar. That little bit of code made it possible for my readers to buy an international lottery ticket without leaving my site! That code is very configurable too. All you need to do is to change the dimensions to make it fit almost anywhere on your blog. See, I’ve even adjusted it fit this blog post.

I’ve even got a huge one on a page on my Get Online Lottery blog!

As I said at the beginning of the post prospective online lottery buyers can now purchase their ticket right from my blogs. Test it out to see how easy it is to buy an international lottery ticket online. Can you see how this could increase the potential for your blog to make even more money. I sure can.

become giantlottos affiliateThe beauty of it is that you don’t even need a lottery site. You can place this code snippet on any one of your blogs. Then any one of your visitors who’s a lottery player can buy a ticket from you and you earn the commission.

All you need is to become a Giantlottos affiliate. And why wouldn’t you want to become a Giantlottos affilate. It’s completely free and it allows you to sell tickets right from your site.

Ok, I’ve had to shoot an email to my Giantlottos affiliate manager because I couldn’t find that code in my Giantlottos affiliate dashboard. I asked him where it was located and I’ll get back to you as soon as I get an answer.

You know though, even if you need to be a member for awhile before you can get the code it doesn’t prevent you from monetising your blog by placing choice affiliate banners on your site. That’s how I started making my cash as a lottery affiliate. :drunk_tb:

As a member you can sign other affiliates under you and make even more money,

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Just Joking Around Friday Funnies #157

It’s time for another Friday Funnies and for this edition I thought I would try a series of jokes and so I called this post Just Joking Around,

Just Joking Around #1

This first joke is about a wife who’s decided she’s better off leaving her husband and taking up the oldest profession, that of a prostitute.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, “What are you doing?”

She answers, “I’m moving to Nevada!  I heard that prostitutes there get paid $400.00 for what I’m doing for YOU for FREE!”

Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.

When she asks him where he’s going, he replies, “I’m coming, too. I want to see how you live on $800.00 a year.”

Just Joking Around #2 

This next one is a good one too.

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around Walmart when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy,”Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

The young guy says, “That’s OK, it’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.”

The old guy says, “Well, maybe I can help you find her. what does she look like?”

The young guy says, “Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom…wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?’

To which the old guy says, “Doesn’t matter, let’s look for yours.

And you know what? I bet the old guy wasn’t joking around either.  :lol_ee:

And for my last bit of just joking around I have a little Irish humour for you.

Just Joking Around Irish Humour

That’s it for this weeks Friday Funnies folks. As always don’t forget to share it with your mates. :wink:

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