Fried Eggs Joke Friday Funnies #137

Who would have thought that a joke about fried eggs could be funny. I certainly didn’t. Not until I got this one in my email yesterday.

Making Fried Eggs Causes Stress

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into Fried Eggs Jokethe kitchen. ‘Careful,’ he said, ‘CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them.. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!’

The wife stared at him. ‘What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?’ The husband calmly replied, ‘I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.’

Man, until I read this I just didn’t realise how stressful making fried eggs could be.  :cool:

Irish Mail Order Women

Irish Mail Order Brides

Finally, as a wine drinker, I would like to post something that shows why a glass of wine is so much better than a glass of water.

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine. And to those of you who don’t and are always
seen with a bottle of water in your hand.

As Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) – bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine or beer (or tequila, gin, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember:

Water = Poop,
Wine = Health.

Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
I’m doing it as a public service!

I still thanked the guy who sent me the email. :drunk_tb:

 

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Italian Joke Friday Funnies #136

I’ve had jokes on Friday Funnies targeting most races but probably none more than the Irish. It’s not my fault that I pick on the Irish thug. There’s just so many Irish jokes out there.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

I’m pretty sure I’ve included one or two Italian jokes. Just in case this Friday Funnies will have an Italian joke. Being of Italian heritage I think it’s only fair I include an Italian joke every now and again just to show there is no favouritism. :wink:

Italian Joke A Secret to a Long Marriage!

At St. Peter’s Catholic Church they have weekly husbands marriage seminars.Italian Joke Auntie Acid

At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, ‘Wella, I’va tried to treat her nice, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I took her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!’

The priest responded, ‘Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?’

Giuseppe proudly replied, ” I gonna go pick her up.”

Well, I sure hope you liked that Italian joke.

Something I’ve learned about being on the Internet is that you have to be really careful about the stuff you post on sites like FaceBook. Once it goes live everybody can see it! I mean everybody and if you’re not careful it will end up biting you in the ass  :pretty_please:

FaceBook Heaven Joke

The following video is bloody hilarious. A REALLY GREAT ITALIAN JOKE. It’s in Italian but I’m sure you will get the gist of it. Just to help you out the man on the motor bike is asking the Italian farmer what time it is. The farmer lifts the donkeys balls and then tells the man the time. This happens a couple of times.

When the bloke on the motor bike comes back again he once again asks the time. He’s amazed that the farmer gets the time right to the minute by lifting the donkeys balls again. I’m sure you can work out the rest :wink_ee: :

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Business Investment Is Important

Business Investment

Created with the Logo Creator

I could just as easily called this post Blog Investment is important because I know a lot of bloggers out there are hoping there blogs will make them a little money. I’ve decided to call it business investment instead because if you’re hoping to make money with your blog then your blog really is a business.

I came across an interesting post yesterday, Super Ninja Blogging Weapons All Pros Are Using, where the author Brittany Bullen, talks about her business investment tools. In my comment I mentioned some of the tools I use as part of my business investment strategy.

The best thing about having an online business is that it doesn’t have to cost you an arm and a leg. The majority of serious bloggers have self hosted blogs. This is important as it means they own their blog outright and have complete control. Using those free blogs is not a serious business investment.

I moved up to VPS Hosting with Inmotion Hosting for just under $30 per month. Beginner bloggers can have a shared hosting with them for as low as $5.99 a month.

As far as business investment goes my most important business investment would have to be the Logo Creator.

My Best Business Investment

When you consider that the Logo Creator will only set you back $37 it’s an investment in your business that anyone can afford. While writing this post I noticed that for a limited time it’s for sale for only $17! That’s bloody unbelievable. Especially when you consider what you get for it. Apart from the software you also get the following.

  • 200 pre-made logos/templates to modify
  • 300 beautiful images to use
  • Bonus Baldy Bob in 3D, a $27 value
  • The ability to add your own graphics
  • Lifetime use
  • Unlimited revisions
  • The ability to insert images into Logo Text
  • You can sell the images that you create using the Logo Creator

Keeping that last point in mind I used it to create my Header Package!

As good as it is I’ve added more packs to my Logo Creator. They include.

  • The Character Creator:  This is an amazing product that helps you create the perfect mascot character for your business and services. Comes complete with the LogoCreator. At only $17 it’s a steal. If you act quickly you even get a bonus “never seen before characters!”
  • The People Creator: Comes with the LogoCreator and for a limited amount of time you get it for only $17! Wait too long and it goes up to $27. You get 50 templates to modify and 200 “Real People” images and silhouettes. Hundreds of new elements. All images can be used royalty free. You’ll never have to find another royalty free image to use to sell your product or advertise your affiliate again.
  • People Pak 2: When this pack became available I just had to have it. It came with 50 new templates as well as another 100 quality images of real people. Once again it comes with the LogoCreator.
  • Product Poppers: This is one that I plan to get in the near future. It comes with another 50 templates and 100 animated images.
  • Cartoon Marketing Mascots: This was the first package I bought to add to the Logo Creator. It comes with 110 cartoon mascots characters. Comes free with the LogoCreator.

You’ll notice that buying any of the add on packs (I’m not sure about the Product Poppers) will give you the LogoCreator as well. You’re basically getting it for free. I already had the LogoCreator and so I paid just for the individual packs.

Ever since I’ve purchased the Logo Creator and the add on packs I’ve been able to come up with all my own images for my posts. I use it for almost everything including the making of my video thumbnails for YouTube. You can see one in my latest YouTube creation. My Laughaholics series would have been pretty ordinary if it wasn’t for the LogoCreator.

Just about all my images on EZ eSports Betting site have been created with the aid of the Logo Creator. The Logo Creator is actually my #1 marketing ploy which is why its my most important business investment. It could be yours as well.

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