I’ve been to a few funerals and I can tell you quite honestly that funerals are not funny. They’re a most solemn moment. Even so, when I got this funeral joke in the email yesterday I couldn’t help but laugh. I hope that you also get a kick out of the following funny funeral moment.
An Italian Funny Funeral Moment
A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash.
Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file.
The Jewish man couldn’t stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said: “I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen an Italian funeral like this Whose funeral is it?”
”What happened to her?”
“She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her.”
He inquired further, “But who is in the second hearse?”
My mother-in-law. She came to help my wife and the dog turned on her and killed her also.
A very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood and silence passed between the two men..
The Jewish man then asked “Can I borrow the dog?”
The Italian man replied, “Get in the line.”
Talking about funerals, hears an interesting way to promote cremation!
When all else fails huh?
The next funny funeral moment is about planning a funeral
It’s been quite some time since I’ve featured some blonde jokes for Friday Funnies. That’s why this weeks Friday Funnies has some of the funniest blonde jokes that I could find.
The first of the funniest blonde jokes is about a blonde driver who drives, like a blonde ;)
Collection Of Funniest Blonde Jokes
A blonde has just picked up her new Ferrari. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does.
The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up the Ferrari’s leather seats. He turns around and sees her smiling. This infuriates him so he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and giving the Ferrari a new panel beating job. He looks back only to see that the blonde laughing.
He’s really pissed now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she’s laughing so hard, she’s about to fall down. He demands, “What’s so funny?” She says, “Every time you weren’t looking, I I was jumping in and out of the circle!”
We haven’t seen Sexy Sal for awhile so I figured it was time for her to earn her keep. So, for your pleasure she’s come up with some of her funniest blonde jokes.
The next in the funniest blonde jokes is about a blonde and her boyfriend.
A blonde and her boyfriend are out on a date, where they go to see a movie. Her boyfriend gets up to go to the snack bar and asks her what she wants. She asks him to please get her a bag of M&Ms. He brings her the bag and she proceeds to throw all the brown colored candies onto the floor. Wondering why, her boyfriend asks her, “honey, why are you throwing away all the brown ones?”
Without skipping a beat the blonde places a hand on his shoulder and says, “oh, honey. You know I don’t like chocolate!”
Now for Sexy Sals second funniest blonde jokes.
Our final funniest blonde jokes once again takes place at the cinema.
A biggish bloke was sitting in an aisle because it felt roomier than the other ones. The feature was just about to start when a blonde from the centre of the row gets up and starts working her way out.
“Excuse me, pardon me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.” By the time she got to the biggish bloke at the end of the row, while blocking his view and obvilously frustrated he said, “Couldn’t you have done this before?”
“No!” says the blonde in a loud whisper. “They just flashed the ‘TURN OFF YOUR MOBILE PHONE PLEASE’ message on the screen and mine is in the car.”
And so ends another Friday Funnies. I hope you liked my collection of funniest blonde jokes enough to share it with your friends.
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