Gynaecologist Jokes Friday Funnies #188

There was a Friday Funnies post way back in December of 2104 about a beautiful women that centred around a gynaecologist. Just as funny situations likely occur in every profession, the case is also true for gynaecologists. Today’s Friday Funnies is going to add to those funny gynaecologist jokes.

Gynaecologist Jokes You’ll Love

Our first gynaecologist Joke is about a man who went to a Wickham Terrace Specialist in Brisbane answering an advert for a Gynaecologist Assistant. Knowing that nowadays, job advertisers aren’t able to discriminate against the applicant’s gender, he was very interested, so he went in and asked the secretary for details.

She retrieved the file and Read to him: “This job entails preparing ladies for the Gynaecologist. You will be responsible for helping them out of their underwear, laying them down and carefully washing their private areas, applying shaving foam to the necessary parts and removing all unwanted foliage, and finally, you’ll be required to rub in soothing oils, in preparation for the Gynaecologist’s examination.”

Then she told him “The annual salary is $65,000 and if you’re interested, you’ll have to go
to Gympie “.

“My goodness!”, exclaimed the man, “Is that where the job is?”.

She answered, “No , that’s where the end of the queue is…”

gynaecologist jokes

Most people would think that being a gynaecologist would be a pretty safe job, right? Well, like this next Gynaecologist jokes goes to show that all depends on the patient.

A biker’s hot girlfriend goes to the gynecologist for a physical. When the gyno starts examining her, it turns out she’s a nymphomaniac. Everywhere he probes or touches makes her moan suggestively. After awhile, not able to contain himself any longer, he rips off his clothes and has her right there on the examining room table.

Meanwhile, the biker get suspicious of all the commotion and barges into the room.

“What the hell are you doing?” he shouts.

“I’m–uhhh–checking her temperature,” stammers the gyno.

“OK, doc, go ahead,” growls the biker taking out his switchblade, “but if that thing doesn’t have numbers on it when you pull it out, it’s coming off!”

Naturally our gynaecologist jokes has to include a gynaecologist with a sadistic sense of humour  :devil_tb:

A woman goes to her gynaecologist who verifies that she is pregnant. As this was her first pregnancy the gynaecologist asks her if she has any questions.

She replies, “Well, I’m a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?”

The doctor answered, “Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it’s difficult to describe pain.”

“I know, but can’t you give me some idea?,” she asks.

“OK, grab your upper lip and pull it out a little…”

“Like this?”

“A little more…”

“Like this?”

“No. A little more…”

“Like this?”

“Yes. Does that hurt?”

“A little bit.”

“Now stretch it over your head!”

Yeah, you just have to love those gynaecologist jokes! And so ends another Friday Funnies. Remember, make sure your friends don’t miss out by sharing this post with them.  :drunk_tb:

Have a great weekend guys and don’t forget where you can find some really funny sports jokes!


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Scary Halloween Poem

scary halloween poem

Seeing how today is Halloween and all I thought I would post another scary Halloween poem. This is my third scary Halloween poem. The first scary Halloween open was Home Alone On Halloween. My second scary Halloween poem was Screams of Halloween and I wrote that about three years later onOctober 2012.

I just finished today’s, my latest scary Halloween poem and I’m going to share it with you now.

Witches Ghouls And Ghosts A Scary Halloween Poem

Its Halloween, sun a setting
The ghouls and demons are fretting
So much to do so little time
Lest they forget the yucky slime

Witches, their cauldrons stirring
Their evil black cats purring
Black hats and brooms just sitting
Evil spells the witches knitting

To catch unwary children ringing
With empty sweet bags swinging
Not knowing what waits behind the door
Perhaps not candy but ghastly gore

Are there vampires, fangs just dripping
Blood from victims they’re gripping
Bodies strewn across the floor
Of kids in costumes who rang before

Goblins and Ghosts I’m sure await
behind the door to deal their fate
To the unsuspecting costumes wearing
hoping for candy from their scaring

Not knowing what monsters they’ll meet
While visiting houses in their street
Where skeletons and Jack o’ Lanterns abound
Many emitting an eerie sound

Blood stained doors Mummies waiting
Costumed Children on door steps debating
Should they ring in hopes of candied loot
Or flee home taking the shorter route.

I’ve been thinking of doing another scary Halloween poem for ages now and 3 years later I’ve finally managed to come up with what I feel is my best scary Halloween poem yet. What do you guys think. How does this poem compare with the other ones.

I’ve also made another YouTube video of me reciting my latest scary Halloween poem. This time I tried not to overdo the scary voice.  :devil_tb:

I have to admit I love the FlexSqueeze theme. Being able to change the colour of the background in individual posts is a real bonus.

Don’t forget to give the video a thumbs up if you liked it.  :drunk_tb:

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Fifty Shades Of Grey Friday Funnies #187

Fifty Shades Of Grey has appeared a couple of times on this blog. It first appeared back in 2013 when the Fifty Shades Of Grey lead to a golf game. The second time was in January of this year when I wrote about the Short Version Of Fifty Shades Of Grey.

The following is what happens when some old blokes in a book club decide to read Fifty Shades Of Grey as part of their book club.

Fifty Shades Of Grey & The Men’s Shed Meeting

We had a novel experience at a recent meeting of our book club at the Men’s Shed.

One of our senior members, Ted Roberts who is himself an author lauded for his timeless work
“Woodworking for Profit and Pleasure”, came up with an interesting suggestion.

He said his wife thought that we should read a book called “Fifty Shades of Grey” as we might learn something from it. Someone thought it would come in handy when re-painting the house.

The chaps were all asked to attend our next meeting with some notes relating to their experience
of reading Fifty Shades Of Grey and its relevance to our activities.

At the follow-up meeting we had an enthusiastic full house where the blokes recounted the literary impact of the novel. Here are their experiences:

Bill Carruthers, 74
We tried various positions – round the back, on the side, up against a wall.
But in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the only place for a good shed.

Nick Enwright, 86
She stood before me, trembling in my shed
“I’m yours for the night,” she gasped, “You can do whatever you want with me.”
So I took her to Bunnings.

Ted Roberts, 79
She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then harder until finally it came.
I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot.

Tom Entwhistle, 73
Ever since she read THAT book, I’ve had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains and shackles.
She still manages to get into the shed, though.

Jack Farthing, 78
“Put on this rubber suit and mask,” I instructed, calmly.
“Mmmm, kinky!” she purred.
“Yes,” I said, “You can’t be too careful with all that asbestos in the shed roof.”

John Hardcastle, 72
“I’m a very naughty girl,” she said,biting her lip. “I need to be punished.”
So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.

Colin Horrocks, 65
“Harder!” she cried, gripping the workbench tightly. “Harder!”
“Okay,” I said. “What’s the gross national product of Nicaragua?”

Malcolm Riddock, 75
I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window. Despite my concerns about my inexperience,
my rhubarb had come up a treat.

Allen Cardly, 74
“Are you sure you can take the pain?” she demanded, brandishing stilettos.“I think so,” I gulped.
“Here we go, then,” she said, and showed me the receipt.

Humphrey Landsdowne, 56
Hurt me!” she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench.
“Very well,” I replied. “You’ve got a fat arse and no dress sense.”

Nicholas Benchley, 53
“Are you sure you want this?” I asked.
“When I’m done, you won’t be able to sit down for weeks.” She nodded.
“Okay,” I said, putting the three-piece lounge furniture on eBay.

Toby Williams, 60
“Punish me!” she cried. “Make me suffer like only a real man can!”
“Very well,” I replied, leaving the toilet seat up.

Talking about Fifty Shades of Grey I thought I would finish off with the following image.

Fifty shades of grey

Have a great weekend guys and don’t forget where you can find some really funny sports jokes!


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