It Friday Funnies time again and I’m going to give you some more Irish Jokes. I know I’ve written a lot of posts about the Irish but they’re funny, people like them and so I’m all for sharing even more Irish Jokes.
More Irish Jokes To Make You Laugh
Paddy Murphy walks into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy looking like he’d just been run over by a train.His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken,his face is cut and bruised and he’s walking with a limp.
“What happened to you?” asks Sean, the bartender.
“Jamie O’Conner and me had a fight,” says Paddy.
“That little shit, O’Conner,” says Sean,“He couldn’t do that to you,he must have had something in his hand.”
“That he did,” says Paddy, “a shovel is what he had,and a terrible lickin’ he gave me with it.” “Well,” says Sean, “you should have defended yourself,didn’t you have something in your hand?”
“That I did,” said Paddy.“Mrs. O’Conner’s breast, and a thing ofbeauty it was, but bloody useless in a fight.”
Pretty funny huh? How about some more Irish Jokes?
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and,
of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over.
“So,” says the cop to the driver, “where have ya been?”
“Why, I’ve been to the pub of course,” slurs the drunk.
“Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you’ve had quite a few to drink this evening.”
“I did all right,” the drunk says with a smile.
“Did you know,” says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, “that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?”
“Oh, thank heavens,” sighs the drunk. “For a minute there, I thought I’d gone deaf.”
Man, you just have to love the Irish!
What’s that? You want even more Irish Jokes?
And so ends another Friday Funnies. I hope the ‘More Irish Jokes’ put a smile on your face. Don’t forget to have a great weekend and to share this with your social media friends.
I’ve written a couple of ventriloquist jokes on this blog. Actually one of the earliest Fridays Funnies post had a Sexy Sals Joke that was about a ventriloquist. Then there was the one that features Nina the Ventriloquist. I reckon the one you’re about to read is just as if not funnier than all the ventriloquist jokes that precedes it.
Aussie Ventriloquist Plays Havoc With Kiwi
An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.
He figures he’ll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi
‘G’day, mind if I talk to your dog?’
Villager: ‘The dog doesn’t talk, you stupid Aussie.’
Ventriloquist: ‘Hello dog, how’s it going mate?’
Dog: ‘Yeah, doin’ all right.’
Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: ‘Is this villager your owner?’ (pointing at the Villager)
Ventriloquist: ‘How does he treat you?’
Dog: ‘Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.’
Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: ‘Mind if I talk to your horse?’
Kiwi: ‘Uh, the horse doesn’t talk either…I think.’
Ventriloquist: ‘Hey horse, how’s it going?’
Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: ‘Is this your owner?’ (Pointing at the villager)
Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
Horse: ‘Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.’
Kiwi: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: ‘Mind if I talk to your sheep?’
Kiwi: (in a panic) ‘The sheep’s a f*****’ liar..‘
I reckon this image of a ventriloquist joke is pretty funny too.
And so ends another Friday Funnies. I hope you enjoyed it. Don’t forget I have some more funny jokes on my sports betting site,
It’s been awhile since I’ve done a prostitute joke. The first prostitute joke was part of Friday Funnies #157. Another prostitute joke can be found in Friday Funnies #114. OK, it wasn’t really a true prostitute joke, but it did have prostitute in the content.
The Irish Prostitute Joke
An Irish daughter had not been home for over five years.
Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily. ‘Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line?
Why didn’t ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?’
The girl, crying, replied, ‘Sniff, sniff … Dad … I became a prostitute.’
‘Ye what!? Get out a here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You’re a disgrace to this Catholic family.’
‘OK, Dad.. As ye wish. I only came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a £5 million
For me little brother, this gold Rolex.
And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that’s parked outside plus a membership to the country club …
(takes a breath) … And an invitation for ye all to spend New Year’s Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.’
‘What was it ye said ye had become?’ says Dad.
Girl, crying again, ‘A prostitute, Daddy! Sniff, sniff.’
‘Oh! My Goodness! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant! Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!
Then I came across the image below which I think is pretty funny.
That’s it for another Fridays Funnies. If you’re looking for some more laughs you should check out my sports jokes.
If you have a website and would like me to link to it why not send me your funniest joke. If I include it as part of my Friday Funnies I’ll link to your website giving you credit.
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