Aussies Are Dumb Too

I got this email today titled Aussies are dumb too. It lists seven different occasions that show how stupid some Aussies can be. Let me just say that I can not vouch for any of the Aussies are dumb too stories mentioned below. Having said that. Some of the stories, as unbelievable as they are, may have happened which makes it totally funny.

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9 Ways Aussies Are Dumb Too

Aussies are dumb too

Number One.
“I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre in Brisbane. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and, at the end of the conversation, happened to mention that she had given her daughter some ant poison to eat to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away”.

Yep, that would fit into the Aussies are dumb too category 😂

Number Two.
Some Boeing employees on the airfield in Sydney decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming towards  them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Now, that could have happened anywhere. 🧐

Number Three.
A man, wanting to rob a Bank of Queensland, walked into the Branch and wrote ‘;Put all ya muny in this beeg.’ While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller’s window. So he left the Bank and crossed the street to the NAB Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn’t the brightest light in the Harbour, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of Queensland deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a NAB deposit slip or go back to Bank of Queensland. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, ‘OK’ and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at the Bank of Queensland.

Happened in Brisbane.

Number Four.
A guy walked into a little corner store in Cairns with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, ‘Because I don’t believe you are over 21.’
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn’t believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver’s licence out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that she got off the licence.  They arrested the robber two hours later.

Number Five.
A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, ‘Nobody move !’ 
When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. 
Happened in Adelaide

Number Six.
A guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. 
So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window.  The brick bounced back knocking him unconscious. 
It seems the liquor store window was made of Flexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Happened in Perth WA.

Number seven.
“My daughter went to a local McDonalds and ordered a burger. She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.”
Happened in Surfer’s Paradise.

Number eight.
“I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, ‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” 
To which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?” 
He smiled knowingly and nodded. “That’s why we ask.”
Happened in Melbourne ..

Number nine.
“When my husband and I arrived at a car dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. ‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘it’s open !’ 
His reply, ‘I know – I already done that side.’
Happened at the FORD dealership, Dubbo

Whilst some of these situations are highly questionable they’re still pretty funny.

Don’t forget to check out some of my other Friday Funnies posts. The fact that you’re here reading this post shows me you’re someone who loves or is looking for laughs. That being the case you should check out my Laughaholics Videos. You’ll find heaps of funny videos there. You may even want to subscribe to my channel. I’m always looking for new subscribers.

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Do Lawyers Lie Friday Funnies #354

Have you ever asked yourself the question, ‘Do lawyers lie? I’m sure there are quite a few folks out there that ask themselves, do lawyers lie.

Do Lawyers Lie A Story Told

A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner, who wanted to reoccupy the home. But he was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house.

When he said, he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place.

He couldn’t say he had no children, because he couldn’t lie (as we all know, lawyers cannot, and do not lie). So, he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids.

 He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent. He loved one of the homes, and the price was right.

The agent asked, “How many children do you have?”

He answered, “Twelve.”

The agent asked, “Where are the others?”

The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look,  answered, “They’re in the cemetery with their mother.”

MORAL: 
It’s not necessary to lie, one only has to choose the right words,  and don’t forget, most politicians are 
lawyers.

I found this little saying whilst searching the internet a while back and I used the Creator to put this little meme together.

do lawyers lie

The fact that you’re here reading this post shows me you’re someone who loves or is looking for laughs. That being the case you should check out my Laughaholics Videos. You’ll find heaps of laughs there. You may even want to subscribe to my channel. I’m always looking for new subscribers.

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Hilarious Irish Jokes Friday Funnies #353

I love hilarious Irish jokes, and I know a lot of my readers do as well. That’s why my hilarious Irish jokes are so popular with my readers. And that’s also why I’m going to add to my collection of hilarious Irish jokes with a couple more.

Hilarious Irish Jokes Court Case

My first Irish joke takes place in a courtroom.

The judge says to a double-homicide defendant… “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.”

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “You bastard!”

The judge says, “You’re also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer.”

The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, “You rotten bastard!”

The judge stops and says to Paddy in the back of the courtroom. “Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no more outbursts from you, or I’ll charge you with contempt…  Is that understood?”

Paddy stands up and says, “I’m sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years I’ve lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one.”

Hilarious Irish Jokes

Image created with The Creator

This next Irish joke is a short joke, but then most Irish jokes are.

An old Irish farmer’s dog goes missing and he’s inconsolable.
His wife says “Why don’t you put an advert in the paper?”
He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
“What did you put in the paper?” his wife asks.
“Here boy!” he replies.

Would you like some more laughs? You should check out my Laughaholics Videos. You may even want to subscribe to my channel

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