Aussie Love Poem Friday Funnies #371

Today’s Aussie love poem was inspired by my latest YouTube video Scary Halloween Ball Poem. Other than both being poems they have nothing in common. I just could resist promoting my Halloween Poem. It would be great if you could check it out and give it a thumbs up.

Anyway, back to today’s Aussie Love poem.

Funny Aussie Love Poem

Of course I love ya darlin
You’re a bloody top-notch bird
And when I say you’re gorgeous
I mean every single word

So ya bum is on the big side
I don’t mind a bit of flab
It means that when I’m ready
There’s somethin’ there to grab

So your belly isn’t flat no more
I tell ya, I don’t care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round there

No Sheila who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
They just gave in to gravity
But I know ya did ya best

I’m tellin’ ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think it’s very sexy
That you’ve got dimples on ya thighs

I swear on me nanna’s grave now
The moment that we met
I thought you was as good as
I was ever gonna get

No matter what u look like
I’ll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the rugby’s on
And fetch another beer

I enjoyed that poem and hope that you did as well. Perhaps enough to share it with your friends?

I thought this poem was pretty good too.

Aussie Love Poem

You May Find The Following Of Interest

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funny Blonde jokes video. While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest in a series of videos called Aussie Adventures In Italy. Episode one is called Randazzo.

Motorbike Jokes Pt II Friday Funnies #370

I hope you like today’s Friday Funnies which is all about motorbike jokes. I do believe that this is the first time that I’ve featured motorbike jokes in a Friday Funnies post. Oops, I did a quick search of my blog and discovered I did do a motorbike in March last year. You can read that joke here. It’s hilarious.

Motorbike Jokes Picking Up Girls

motorbike jokes

A 10-year-old girl was walking home alone from school one day when a big man on a motorbike pulls up beside her. He follows her for a little while, then turns around and says to her, “Hey there little girl, how would you like to go for a little ride?”

“No way!” says the little girl as she quickens her pace.

The guy on the motorbike pulls alongside her again and asks, “Hey, little girl, I’ll give you ten bucks if you hop on the back.”

“NO!” says the little girl as she hurries down the street.

The motorcyclists pulls up alongside her again and say, “OK kid, this is my final offer. I’ll give you twenty bucks and a big bag of candy if you go on the back of my bike and let me take you for a ride.

Finally, the girl stops, turns and face the man defiantly with her hands placed firmly on her hips. She screams out, “Look, Dad, you’re the one who bought a Honda instead of a Harley. YOU RIDE IT!”

Karma And The Motorcycle Cop

They rushed a motorcycle patrolman to hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated on him, and when he came round, he was relieved when they told him all had gone to plan, and he was going to be okay.

But the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. He was worried that something might be wrong, but he was still too weak from the surgery to do anything. Eventually, he managed to pull his hospital gown down enough to check what was causing the discomfort. When he looked down at his chest, he saw three wide strips of ultra-adhesive tape stuck firmly to his hairy chest. Written on it in large black letters was the message:

“Get well soon… from the nurse who got a ticket from you last week. I’ll be round to remove the tape later.”

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funny Blonde jokes video. While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest in a series of videos called Aussie Adventures In Italy. Episode one is called Randazzo.

Funny English Boy Friday Funnies #369

The funny English boy is a funny story about a young lad that works in a supermarket in England. This young boy could be Little Johnny’s cousin. 😆 Anyway, have a read of the funny English boy and let me know in the comments below what you think of this short story.

Funny English Boy Who Thinks Fast

funny English boy

A man went into a supermarket and tried to buy half a cauliflower. The very young greens-produce assistant told him that they sold only whole cauliflowers. The man persisted, and asked to see the manager, and the boy went to find him.

Walking into the stock room, the boy said to his manager, “Some wanker out there wants to buy half a cauliflower.” As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the customer standing right behind him, so he added, “And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half.”

The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, “I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people here who think on their feet. Where are you from, son?”

“Cardiff, sir,” the boy replied.

“Why did you leave Cardiff ?” the manager asked.

The boy said, “Sir, there’s nothing there but prostitutes and rugby players.”

“Really?” said the manager. “My wife is from Cardiff.”

“You’re kidding?” replied the boy. “What position did she play?”

See, he’s a quick thinker isn’t he?

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funny Blonde jokes video. While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip. I’ve also found Luminar 3 to be a fantastic photo editor.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest in a series of videos called Aussie Adventures In Italy. Episode one is called Randazzo.