Doctor Jokes Friday Funnies #374

Hey guys, welcome to today’s Friday Funnies post about doctor jokes. Today’s doctor jokes post, as all my Fridays Funnies are, is thanks to the many jokes emails I receive daily.

The Cardiologist Doctor Jokes

A Lexus mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of an LS460 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was waiting for the service manager to have a look at his car. The mechanic shouted to the waiting, cardiologist, “Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?”

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a dirty rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new.

So how is it that I make $48,000 a year and you make $1.7M when you and I are doing the same work?”

The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic, “Try doing it while the engine is running”.

doctor jokes

Doctor Jokes And The Elderly

There are times when, as a patient, for whatever reason, you misinterpret what the doctor has been saying to you. Patients misinterpreting their doctors happens a lot when the patients are elderly. Take the next joke as a prime example.

Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said: “You’re doing great, aren’t you?”

Morris replied: “Just doing what you said, Doc. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.”

The doctor said: “I didn’t say that. I said, You’ve got a heart murmur – be careful.”

You May Find The Following Of Interest

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funny Blonde jokes video. While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest in a series of videos called Adelaide Oval RoofClimb review.

Donald Trump Jokes Friday Funnies #373

Hopefully, today’s Donald Trump jokes won’t offend my American friends. It’s not like I’ve made these jokes up myself you know, I get them in emails which I store for just such an occasion. Besides, Trump only has himself to blame. I reckon he should spend less time on Twitter and more time looking after the States.

Donald Trump Jokes To Make You LOL

Donald Trump Jokes

During a dull White House Dinner, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with Governor of New York Andrew Cuomo,

“I bought Donald a parrot for his birthday. That bird is so smart, Donald has already taught him to say over two hundred words!”

“Very impressive,” said Cuomo, “but, you do realise he speaks the words. He doesn’t understand what they all mean.”

“Oh, I know”, replied Melania, “but neither does the parrot.”

I wasn’t expecting that at all. If you thought that was funny wait until you read the second of my Donald Trump jokes.

The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand, I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will remember and rejoice!”

To which, Trump replied, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

So the Pope slapped him. 🤣

Even though I’ve heard that joke before, but with one of our former Prime Minister replacing Trump, I still could not stop myself from laughing.

You May Find The Following Of Interest

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funny Blonde jokes video. While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest in a series of videos called Adelaide Oval RoofClimb review.

Driving Test Joke Friday Funnies #372

For the first time ever Friday Funnies is featuring driving test joke. Thanks to Hugh for sending me today’s driving test joke.

Blonde Driving Test Joke

A blonde failed the written driving test 4 times. At the fifth attempt,  she was determined to pass. But the test had the same question, 

“You are driving at 100 km/h. On your right is a wall, on your left, is a cliff. 

On the road, you see an old man and a young man. What will you hit?

The woman walked up to the examiner and said, “I’ve answered this question all four ways, wall, cliff, old man and young man, yet I failed all four times. How is this possible? What the hell am I supposed to hit???”

The examiner replied, “The brakes!!!”

driving test joke

Rabbit Causes Failed Driving Test

I failed my driving test today. I was driving down a country road with the examiner when a rabbit ran out right in front of the car.

I remembered my instructor said you should never swerve or try to avoid an animal because it’s dangerous and you can end up causing a more serious accident. You should always just hit it and keep on driving.

I had to chase that little bugger for miles across the fields before I finally got it!

Blonde Passes Driving Test

My blonde girlfriend had just passed her driving test so she drove me to town.

It was absolutely packed but we managed to find a space. However, she was nervous about doing a parallel park.

“Don’t worry babe, I’m sure you can do it. Just do what you did in the test” I said

I was dumbfounded when she slowly started unzipping my trousers.

You May Find The Following Of Interest

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funny Blonde jokes video. While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest in a series of videos called Aussie Adventures In Italy. Episode one is called Randazzo.