Todays Friday Funnies is about six types of sex, a far cry from my first ever Friday Funnies. Although I must admit, that initial post did mention sex at least once. 🤩So, what are the six types of sex? I'm glad you asked. 😆 The Six Types Of Sex 1. Pension Sex Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?""Oh, nothing special. I'm having Pension sex.""Pension sex?""Yeah, you know, I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!" 2. Loud Sex A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor.Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell.""My dear," the shrink said. "That's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."The problem is," she complained. "It wakes me up!" 3. Quiet Sex Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"She glanced at him and replied, "You're never home!" 4. Argument Sex A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.The husband yelled. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:'Here Lies My Wife - Cold as Ever.'""Yeah," she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff, at Last.'" 5. Women's Humorous Sex My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly…
No bullshit, this post is called Funny English Language because the English language can be pretty funny because of how it's interpreted. The Funny English Language Is Wonderful Take for example this made up tale about one of our Greens senators. Then again, it might be funnier if I substitute it for Pauline Hanson, her being such a political comedian and all. 😝 One Nation senator, Pauline Hanson, is touring live cattle export yards in the senator's chauffeur driven car. Suddenly a cow jumps out into the road; they hit it full on, and the vehicle comes to a stop. Pauline in her usual jaunty manner, says to the chauffeur, "You get out and check - you were driving." The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. "You were driving, go and tell the farmer, " says Pauline, "I can't afford to be blamed for anything." The chauffeur walks up the drive to the farmhouse and returns five hours later totally plastered, his hair ruffled and with a big grin on his face. "My god, what happened to you?" asks Pauline. The chauffeur replies "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of single malt whiskey. The wife gave me a slap up meal and the daughter made love to me. "What on earth did you say?" asks Pauline. "I knocked on the door and when it answered, I said to them I’m Pauline Hanson's chauffeur, and I’ve just killed the cow." I thought with all…
G’day folks and welcome for the first ever Friday Funnies using OceanWP my latest theme. A pretty good theme don’t you think? Anyway, today’s Friday Funnies are about hunting jokes. After wracking my brain I don’t think I’ve covered hunting jokes before so this will be a first.
Funniest Hunting Jokes
There were these two Irish hunters who were lucky enough to bag themselves a deer buck. As they were dragging their dead deer back to their car they came along another hunter. He was also dragging his dead deer.
He says to the two Irish hunters, “Hey, I don’t want to tell you guys how to do things, but you’ll find it so much easier if you drag the deer from the other end. That way the antlers won’t dig into the ground.”
As they watched the other hunter dragging his deer away they decided to try it. Sometime later one hunter said to the other, “You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!”
“Sure is,” replied the other, “but we seem to be getting further away from the truck.”
The next of my hunting jokes explains why it’s not a good idea to take your wife with you on your hunting trip. 🤪
Hunting With The Wife
Dan was itching to start off on his hunting trip. He gets up early itching to bag his first deer for the season. He goes to the kitchen to brew himself some coffee and was surprised to his wife dressed in camouflage.
“You going to a masquerade or something?” he asks his wife. She just smiles, “Nope, I’m going hunting with you! I thought it would be nice to spend some time together”
Dan couldn’t see anyway around this and so reluctantly takes her along. Once they arrive at the hunting site. Dan sets his wife safely up in the tree stand and says, “If you see a deer, take careful aim before you shoot, and I’ll come running back as soon as I hear the shot.”(more…)