Crocodile Jokes

This week’s Friday Funnies focuses on a few crocodile jokes, which has to be a Friday Funnies first.

A Blonde’s Crocodile Shoes

A blonde was on holiday and driving through Darwin. She desperately wanted to take home

a pair of genuine crocodile shoes but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle on prices” attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Well then, maybe I’ll just go out and catch a crocodile myself so that I can get a pair of shoes for free”.

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An Irish Miracle Friday Funnies

Yep, it’s time for this weeks Friday Funnies. Once again it’s going to be a hilarious Irish joke. It wasn’t quite what I expected in a joke, but it’s funny all the same. This one is all about an Irish miracle.

Murphy’s Irish Miracle

Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor, and it lands butter-side-up. He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it’s a law of nature of the universe that buttered toast always falls butter-down. So he rushes round to the presbytery to fetch Father Flanagan.

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Stuff That Makes You Laugh

Friday Funnies is all about stuff that makes you laugh. Hopefully, this weeks stuff that makes you laugh is so funny you will want to share it with all your friends. Simply, click on one of the social icons over there on your left.

Stuff That Makes You Laugh Images

OK, now for a hilarious joke about group therapy.

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with five young mothers & their small children.

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Funny Widow Joke

Hey guys, I’ve just posted my latest Laughaholics video, Funny Rancher’s Widow Joke and clicking on that link will take you to the video, or you can read the funny widow joke here. 😏

A Funny Widow Joke Rancher Style

Alright, there was this rancher who died, and he leaves everything to his wife who happened to be beautiful, strong of mind and determined, and she was determined to keep the ranch. But, not knowing anything about ranching she put an ad in the paper to hire a runch-hand.

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A Woman’s Mind At Work

Welcome to this weeks Friday’s Funnies readers but before I tickle your funny bone I want to thank all my kind readers for emailing their jokes and explain to them why I haven’t included them as part of the Friday Funnies series. Simply put, I didn’t find them funny enough.   :ponder: If they don’t make me laugh then it’s not good enough for my readers. Keep sending them though because the moment I use one of your jokes I will link to your site within that post.

When I first started the series I thought it would be a simple copy and paste procedure with a little added blurb by yours truly for SEO purposes as well as a way of introducing the posts. Man, if only it was that easy. It takes time to go through them all deleting the ones that aren’t funny and putting the others in the ‘possibly’ funny pile. Not to mention the extra joke I send to all my subscribers.  Still, even though it does take a lot of work its all worth it because I love all the feedback I get from you guys.

OK, enough banter, lets get on with the joke telling.

A Woman’s Mind At Work

A man wakes up at the Austin Hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the Hume Highway.

You’re going to be ok, you’ll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn’t find it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis.

They work great but they don’t come cheap. It’s roughly $1000 an inch.”

The man perks up. “So,” the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want.

But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife.

If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.”

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?”

“Yes I have,” says the man.

“And has she helped you make a decision?”

“Yes” says the man.

“What is your decision?” asks the doctor.

“We’re getting granite benchtops.”

You can hear me telling this joke on YouTube.

Yeah, you just have to love how the woman’s mind work don’t you  

You May Find The Following Of Interest

You should check out my YouTube Channel which has my joke Funny British Postcards. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest video Luminar 4 Review which show just how easy it is to replace a dull sky for a truly dramatic one in your photos.

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How Not To Get Hit By A Drunk Husband

As Friday rolls around once again it means so many things to so many people but to those of you who come to this blog every week on a Friday, it means one thing. That’s right, it’s Fridays Funnies time and today is the eleventh in the series. I’m happy to say that even though it started off a little slow it seems to be picking up momentum and that is confirmed by a lot of the emails I’ve been getting. Having said that I’m left wondering why some people say they loved the joke so much that they’re going to share it with their friends but then they forget to Tweet it or even to FaceBook Like it.  :dont_know:

But you’re not here to listen to me winge and complain. Nope! You’re here to be entertained, especially because it’s Fridays Funnies Time.

The Smartest Man At The Wedding

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