Driving Test Joke Friday Funnies #372

For the first time ever Friday Funnies is featuring driving test joke. Thanks to Hugh for sending me today’s driving test joke.

Blonde Driving Test Joke

A blonde failed the written driving test 4 times. At the fifth attempt,  she was determined to pass. But the test had the same question, 

“You are driving at 100 km/h. On your right is a wall, on your left, is a cliff. 

On the road, you see an old man and a young man. What will you hit?

The woman walked up to the examiner and said, “I’ve answered this question all four ways, wall, cliff, old man and young man, yet I failed all four times. How is this possible? What the hell am I supposed to hit???”

The examiner replied, “The brakes!!!”

driving test joke

Rabbit Causes Failed Driving Test

I failed my driving test today. I was driving down a country road with the examiner when a rabbit ran out right in front of the car.

I remembered my instructor said you should never swerve or try to avoid an animal because it’s dangerous and you can end up causing a more serious accident. You should always just hit it and keep on driving.

I had to chase that little bugger for miles across the fields before I finally got it!

Blonde Passes Driving Test

My blonde girlfriend had just passed her driving test so she drove me to town.

It was absolutely packed but we managed to find a space. However, she was nervous about doing a parallel park.

“Don’t worry babe, I’m sure you can do it. Just do what you did in the test” I said

I was dumbfounded when she slowly started unzipping my trousers.

You May Find The Following Of Interest

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funny Blonde jokes video. While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest in a series of videos called Aussie Adventures In Italy. Episode one is called Randazzo.

Aussie Love Poem Friday Funnies #371

Today’s Aussie love poem was inspired by my latest YouTube video Scary Halloween Ball Poem. Other than both being poems they have nothing in common. I just could resist promoting my Halloween Poem. It would be great if you could check it out and give it a thumbs up.

Anyway, back to today’s Aussie Love poem.

Funny Aussie Love Poem

Of course I love ya darlin
You’re a bloody top-notch bird
And when I say you’re gorgeous
I mean every single word

So ya bum is on the big side
I don’t mind a bit of flab
It means that when I’m ready
There’s somethin’ there to grab

So your belly isn’t flat no more
I tell ya, I don’t care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round there

No Sheila who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
They just gave in to gravity
But I know ya did ya best

I’m tellin’ ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think it’s very sexy
That you’ve got dimples on ya thighs

I swear on me nanna’s grave now
The moment that we met
I thought you was as good as
I was ever gonna get

No matter what u look like
I’ll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the rugby’s on
And fetch another beer

I enjoyed that poem and hope that you did as well. Perhaps enough to share it with your friends?

I thought this poem was pretty good too.

Aussie Love Poem

You May Find The Following Of Interest

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funny Blonde jokes video. While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest in a series of videos called Aussie Adventures In Italy. Episode one is called Randazzo.

Motorbike Jokes Pt II Friday Funnies #370

I hope you like today’s Friday Funnies which is all about motorbike jokes. I do believe that this is the first time that I’ve featured motorbike jokes in a Friday Funnies post. Oops, I did a quick search of my blog and discovered I did do a motorbike in March last year. You can read that joke here. It’s hilarious.

Motorbike Jokes Picking Up Girls

motorbike jokes

A 10-year-old girl was walking home alone from school one day when a big man on a motorbike pulls up beside her. He follows her for a little while, then turns around and says to her, “Hey there little girl, how would you like to go for a little ride?”

“No way!” says the little girl as she quickens her pace.

The guy on the motorbike pulls alongside her again and asks, “Hey, little girl, I’ll give you ten bucks if you hop on the back.”

“NO!” says the little girl as she hurries down the street.

The motorcyclists pulls up alongside her again and say, “OK kid, this is my final offer. I’ll give you twenty bucks and a big bag of candy if you go on the back of my bike and let me take you for a ride.

Finally, the girl stops, turns and face the man defiantly with her hands placed firmly on her hips. She screams out, “Look, Dad, you’re the one who bought a Honda instead of a Harley. YOU RIDE IT!”

Karma And The Motorcycle Cop

They rushed a motorcycle patrolman to hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated on him, and when he came round, he was relieved when they told him all had gone to plan, and he was going to be okay.

But the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. He was worried that something might be wrong, but he was still too weak from the surgery to do anything. Eventually, he managed to pull his hospital gown down enough to check what was causing the discomfort. When he looked down at his chest, he saw three wide strips of ultra-adhesive tape stuck firmly to his hairy chest. Written on it in large black letters was the message:

“Get well soon… from the nurse who got a ticket from you last week. I’ll be round to remove the tape later.”

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funny Blonde jokes video. While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest in a series of videos called Aussie Adventures In Italy. Episode one is called Randazzo.