Funny Dog Jokes Friday Funnies #377

Before I tell you about the funny dog jokes, I want to introduce this week’s Laughahoics video, my Funny Robot Secretary joke.

OK, now that’s out of the way, it’s time for the first of my funny dog jokes.

Funny Dog Jokes A Vet’s Advice

funny dog jokes

A dog lover, whose female dog came ‘in heat’ was concerned about keeping it and her male dog separated.

But because she had a large house, she believed she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling and moaning sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and unable to disengage, as frequently happens when dogs mate.

Unable to separate them; perplexed as to what to d next, although it was very late, she called her vet who answered in a very grumpy voice.

After explaining the problem to him, the vet said, “Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back, and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection, and he will be able to withdraw.

“Do you think that will work?” she asked.

It worked fine for me just now.” he replied.

The next dog joke is funny because it could be true.

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. “Is that a dog you got back there?” he asked. “It sure is,” I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then toward the back of the van. Finally, he said, “What’d he do?”

You May Find The Following Of Interest

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funniest Golf Joke video. My latest Laughaholics video is an Adults Only Joke video.

While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest video Luminar 4 Review which show just how easy it is to replace a boring sky for a truly dramatic one in your photos.

French Joke Friday Funnies #376

Today’s Friday Funnies is a French joke. I’m calling it a french joke because it has a French woman in it and it’s funny.

French Joke A Woman And Her Dog

There was this American soldier who was looking for a place to sit on the train. The only seat available was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle-aged French woman, and her dog was using the seat. The weary soldier asked, “Ma’am, please move your dog so I can have that seat.”

french joke

The French woman looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said, You Americans are so rude. Can’t you see my little FiFi is using that seat?”

The American walked away, determined to find somewhere to rest. Unfortunately, no empty seats were to be seen, and he found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, “Please, lady. May I sit there?”. I’m very tired.”

The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted “You Americans! Not only are you rude, but you are also arrogant. Imagine!”

The American didn’t say another word. Instead, he leaned over, picked up the dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat.

The woman shrieked at the American and demanded that someone defend her honour and chastise the American.

An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly “You know, Sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you’ve thrown the wrong bitch out the window.”

You May Find The Following Of Interest

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funniest Golf Joke video. My latest Laughaholics video is an Adults Only Joke video.

While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest video Luminar 4 Review which show just how easy it is to replace a boring sky for a truly dramatic one in your photos.

Funny Irish Logic Friday Funnies #375

You’ve got to love the funny Irish logic, especially, because funny Irish logic tends to make you laugh out loud.

Funny Irish Logic Regarding Mad Cow Disease

They never aired this particular TV interview. You know there are so many TV channels, each starved of new programs.

In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the leading cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who may have some theories on the matter…

The interview was as follows…

The lady reporter: “I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease… Can you offer any reason for this disease? “

The farmer stared at the reporter and said: “Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year? “

Reporter (obviously embarrassed): “Well, sir, that’s a new piece of information…but what’s the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?”

Farmer: “And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day? “

Reporter: “Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point? “

Farmer: “I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day. And only screwing you once a year, wouldn’t you get mad? “

Funny Irish The program was never aired!

More Funny Irish Logic

funny Irish logic

On the bus, Paddy got chatting to Murphy who was carrying a bag on his back

‘What’s in the bag?’ asked Paddy

‘I’m not going to tell’, replied Murphy

‘Go on, do.’ pleaded Paddy. 

‘Ah, all right then, it’s ducks.’ announced Murphy

‘If I guess how many ducks you have in the bag, will you give me one of them?’ enquired Paddy.

‘Look’, said Murphy, ‘If you guess the correct number, I’ll give you both of them.’

‘Five!’ said Paddy triumphantly.

You May Find The Following Of Interest

Check out my Laughaholics jokes so you can keep the laughs coming. You’ll especially love my latest Funny Blonde jokes video. While you’re there why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest video Luminar 4 Review which show just how easy it is to replace a boring sky for a truly dramatic one in your photos.