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Uncategorized Archives

Friday Funnies #8 Who’s On First And The Girl Lodger

Friday, March 23rd, 2012 at 8:40 am

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As Friday rolls by once again I have the pleasure to present to you the latest in the Friday’s Funnies series. I think you’re going to like this one as it has all the stuff that every good joke is made of, an unexpected punchline.

The Girl Lodger

A Scottish couple in a Hebridean croft took in an 18 year old girl as a lodger. The girl asked if she could take a bath, but the woman of the house explained that though they didn’t actually have a bath, she was welcome to use a tin bath in front of the fire.

“Monday’s the best night, when my husband goes out to darts” she said

The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday.

After her husband had gone to his darts match, the woman filled the bath for the girl after placing it in front of the fire.

She watched the girl get undressed, and was surprised to see she had no pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when he returned home from his darts. He didn’t believe her, so she said: “Next Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden. I’ll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself”

So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife said to her “Do you shave?”

“No” replied the girl “I’ve never been able to grow hair down there. Do you have hair?” Read the rest of this entry

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2012The FlexSqueeze Theme gives my blog that professional look. I loved it so much that I bought the developers license. It's the easiest most customizable theme I've come across. See how easy it is to change your theme's appearance! Compare it to Thesis to see how much better it is! Check out some of the latest Latest Updates

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How To Change The Header On Your Pages

Thursday, December 22nd, 2011 at 3:58 pm

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I did a post a little while ago about Changing The Header On Your WordPress Blog and I mentioned several reasons why we would like to do that including individuality. By that I mean we want our blogs to stand out from the rest and the only way to really do that is by using an individual header rather than the ones that come with our current theme. I then wrote a post telling my readers how to design their own header.

The problem with headers is that your visitors see the same image no matter what page they are on. I’ve often wondered if there was a way to display different headers depending on what page a person was currently viewing?

Individual Page Headers Are Great

So, what’s so great about having individual page headers? Well, for one thing it makes the page stand out from the rest of the blog and that can be really important, especially if that page is trying to get their attention. Like my Advertise Page for example. I’ve also changed the header on my Contact page. So, apart from individualise your blog it also accentuates whatever your page is trying to sell your reader, from a product to mere content. We all know how an image captures a persons attention so why not use that knowledge to your advantage.

Luckily for me FlexSqueeze not only makes this possible it’s also very easy to do and as is my want lately I’ve put a video together for you to show you just how easy it is to change the header on individual pages.

In case you’re wondering, yes I did design both those headers and yes, I used the method outlined in the post about designing headers. You see, I actually do use the methods outlined in my posts

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011The FlexSqueeze Theme gives my blog that professional look. I loved it so much that I bought the developers license. It's the easiest most customizable theme I've come across. See how easy it is to change your theme's appearance! Compare it to Thesis to see how much better it is! Check out some of the latest Latest Updates

I highly recommend you to get your FlexSqueeze copy today!

Why I Believe In Merry Christmas

Wednesday, December 14th, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Comments (66)

Four years ago I wrote a post on one of my other blogs called No More Ho Ho Ho For Santa This Christmas which was all about some recruitment firm who were training their Father Christmas guys to say Ha Ha Ha instead of Ho Ho Ho. Naturally they were created with ridicule by the majority as they should be.

Today I woke up to news that a Sydney Montessori school had replaced Merry Christmas with Happy Holidays! Talk about political correctness gone wrong, especially when it involves kids. I’m amazed that they can’t see they just don’t have the right to ruin Christmas for these kids. It’s almost like your friend telling blurting out to your little ones that Santa doesn’t exist.

Leave Christmas Alone

The excuse used by the headmaster of the school for removing Christmas referencesfrom the end-of-year songs may have been an “attempt by one teacher to address the fact that she had Hindus and Jewish children in the classroom”. What a lot of crap! Those kids wouldn’t have minded a bit and neither would have their parents. They knew what sort of country they came to when they migrated here and I’m sure they respect our right to our culture just as much as we respect theirs.

The problem all lies with the PC police, The Political Correct morons who make rules up because they’re worried about upsetting those that we have welcomed into our multicultural society. What they fail to see is that by doing that they are upsetting the majority of the population. They have no qualms at all about removing Christ from the equation but I’m sure they would never, ever attempt removing Allah from it because that would upset all the Muslims. But it’s OK to upset the Christians because we are more likely to roll over and accept it?

For the life of me I don’t understand why people have to change things, like using Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. It’s been Merry Christmas for so long and all of a sudden it’s not good enough. If you really want to say Happy Holidays that is fine but everyone knows that it’s the Christmas Holidays we’re talking about so why not just say Merry Christmas and be done with it.

I truly believe that if it wasn’t for those PCM’s (Politically Correct Morons) people would not be trying to replace Merry Christmas with Happy Holidays not to mention all the other PC nonsense that exists.

Happy Holiday Or Merry Christmas

I’m not about to tell anyone which one they should use as I believe its really a matter of personal choice. As far as I’m concerned I’m going to continue to use Merry Christmas and these are the reasons why.

Happy Holidays is so generic and as far as I’m concerned it sounds like a half hearted attempt at wishing someone all the best for Christmas, almost like you don’t really mean it.
Not everyone has the luxury of having a break over Christmas. I know that for 25 years I was never able to take a break over Christmas so having someone say Happy Holidays to me would have pissed me off no end whereas Merry Christmas would have made much more sense.

I know the Yanks make a big deal over saying Happy Holidays and I for one hope it never comes here. It would pain me no end if our department stores directed employees to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. I understand in the States they celebrate a lot of holidays in November and December and they’re trying to convince people that Happy Holidays incorporate all the holidays including Thanksgiving, Christmas and Hanukkah. What a lot of BS, I’m sure that most people say Happy Thanksgiving during that time of year and not Happy Holiday.

Anyway, like I said it should be up to the individual to say whatever they want and that’s the way it should be. As for me, I wish all my readers a Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year.

Some Christmas Goodies

100 Classic Christmas Songs
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Christmas
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A Christmas Story [Blu-ray]
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Why Zaparena Is No More

Wednesday, December 7th, 2011 at 12:28 pm

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Do you guys remember my first ever post on Zaparena called Put Money In Your Pocket And Generate Traffic To Your Blog!? Well, that was the first of many posts promoting a site that I believed actually worked, one that not only generated traffic to your blog but also put a bit of money in your pocket. There were those who said Google would penalise sites who used it and I proved them wrong. There were those who didn’t like the scantily clad women portrayed in their ads and I explained to them that you didn’t have to have those ads if you didn’t want them and I chose to have them because I happen to like scantily clad women?

Can You Make Money With Zapunited?

Well, as you can probably tell those ads no longer reside on this blog and let me tell you that is not by choice. What used to be Zaparena is now Zapunited and anyone still displaying Zaparena ads they now link to the zapunited site. Note to self, remove all Zaparena ads from my blogs. I displayed the Zapunited ads in place of the Zaparena ones to see how well they perform. When I noticed they were only generating a minimal amount per click I emailed them.

I explained how I have advertisers who pay me $30 a month to display a banner on this blog and asked what I could expect from their advertisers. I received an answer saying that I would earn more if I displayed the ads under a post. Somehow I think they missed my point because I wasn’t enquiring on how much they would generate per click I wanted to know what it was worth for them to display their ads on this blog. As you can see from this image there is one ad spot available

On this blog when there is an empty spot like that someone would fill it by paying me thirty bucks a month. I assume that someone will be getting some cash when that spot is filled but it’s not me unless someone clicks on that ad. I’m not sure I’m happy with that unless it generates well over a dollar a click and I get over a hundred clicks, combined, a month. Anything less and that and as far as I’m concerned it’s simply not viable to display their ads.

I know some of you out there are saying that Zaparena didn’t pay that much for their ads but then you’re forgetting the main reason I displayed their ads is because they generated targeted traffic to my blogs. There is no such advantage having zapunited ads and so they have to pay their way.

I reckon I will give them a months trial to see how they work out. Once the month is up you can expect another post updating you on the results and on my decisions as to whether or not they will have a place on this blog.

As a regular reader I just have to know, do you miss seeing all those near naked women. As to whether or not you can make money with zapunited, only time will tell.

Some Great Blogging Resources

WordPress Power Guide - Using WordPress to Blog Your Way to Success - Blogging Guide
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Make Easy Money with Google: Using the AdSense Advertising Program
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Social Media Marketing for Writers: How To Blog, Tweet, & Peep Your Way Onto Amazon's Best Seller's List
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Is There A Major Page Rank Around The Corner

Tuesday, October 11th, 2011 at 1:19 pm

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I’ve noticed over the last few days that no matter what site I was visiting there was always something missing, the site’s Page Rank! The first time I noticed it I thought that perhaps the PR checker I was using had developed a fault. I downloaded another one and that wasn’t any better and so I thought that perhaps my MacBook Air, heaven forbid, was the culprit so I rushed over to my PC and checked it using the FireFox plugin and was relieved to see that wasn’t working. At least it wasn’t my MacBook Air’s fault

So the next thing to do was to use one of the online sites to see if they are still showing the PR of sites and to my surprise they were. This would suggest that perhaps Google had changed the api used on different plugins rendering them useless and one just has to wonder why they would do that. Could it possibly be that they’re deciding to do another PR update soon? That may well be the case as they did one roughly this time last year which I wrote about in my post Googles Latest PR Update In Time For Halloween!

Speaking of Halloween, what a perfect time for Google to come up with something scary for their next update. The only other perfect time would be April Fools Day. I wonder what devilish plan could they have up their sleeve? Perhaps they plan to do away with PR altogether, rendering plugins useless first and then doing away with it completely. Why do you ask? Who knows, perhaps that was the reason why they introduced the Google +1 button in the first place. They know that way too many people game their attempts to come up with an accurate and trustworthy way of ranking websites. So why not do away with it altogether?

Still, no-one really knows why Google does what it does, which is probably why there are so many books around about Google.