I thought for todays Friday Funnies I’d just post a heap of funny photos.
Funny Photos To Make You Laugh
The first of our funny photos series is actually banned on Facebook. It took place after Kylie accepted a stuffed bear at one of her concerts.
I reckon you’ll get a kick out of the next funny photo.
The next in our funny photos series displays a bit of ‘naughty’ Aussie humour
Images aside I need to keep the word count up to keep Google happy. They tell me Google likes at least 300 words and so for SEO reasons I’m including a joke to keep that word count up
There is a medical distinction between “Guts” and “Balls”. We’ve heard colleagues referring to people with “Guts”, or with “Balls”. Do they, however, know the difference between them?
Here’s the official distinction; straight from the British Medical Journal: Volume 323; page 295.
GUTS – Is arriving home late, after a night out with the lads, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the “Guts” to ask: “Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?”
BALLS – Is coming home late after a night out with the lads, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the bum and having the “Balls” to say: ‘You’re next, Chubby.’
I trust this clears up any confusion. Medically speaking, there is no difference in outcome; both are fatal.
To finish off I have a little Irish joke that I know you will love.
The judge says to a double-homicide defendant…
“You’re charged with beating your wife to deathwith a hammer.”
A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “You bastard!”
The judge says, “You’re also charged withbeating your mother-in-law to death with ahammer.”
The voice in the back of the courtroom yellsout, “You rotten bastard!”
The judge stops and says to Paddy in the back of the courtroom. “Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no more outbursts from you, or I’ll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?”
Paddy stands up and says, “I’m sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years I’ve lived next door to that arsehole, and every time I’ve asked to borrow a hammer, he’s said he didn’t have one.”
I got some emails that all has something to do with heaven or hell. They were pretty funny which is why I’ve called this post Funny Side Of Heaven Or Hell.
Funny Side of Heaven Or Hell #1
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, Or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly.
“Okay,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”
The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don’t know shit?”
And then she went back to reading her book.
Funny Side Of Heaven Or Hell #2
An old lady dies and goes to Heaven. On arriving, she’s chatting with Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates when suddenly she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams!
Seeing her alarm, Saint Peter says soothingly: “Don’t worry about that, it’s just one of the new
arrivals having the holes drilled into her shoulder blades to fit her wings.”
The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on chatting with Saint Peter. A few minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams.
“Oh my Goodness,” exclaims the old lady, “Now what’s happening to her?”
“Not to worry,” replies Saint Peter, “She’s just having her head drilled to fit her halo.”
“I can’t do this,” says the old lady, “I’m going down to Hell instead.”
“You can’t go to that nasty place,” says Saint Peter, “You’ll be raped and sexually abused.”
“Maybe so,” replies the old lady, “But I’ve already got the holes for that.”
And so ends another Friday Funnies. Don’t forget to make your friends smile by sharing this with them.
What makes life bearable sometimes if the fact that so many people have a good sense of humour. Having a sense of humour is so important. It allows you to laugh at life. I helps to lift your spirits. You also need a sense of humour to come up with a lot of jokes that I post in our Friday Funnies series.
What you are about to see today is someone’s sense of humour in action.
A Sense Of Humour Look At Holes
These holes are not only amazing, but some are really terrifying! The sheer scale of these holes reminds you of just how tiny we are.
Kimberley Big Hole – South Africa
Apparently the largest ever hand-dug excavation in the world, this 1097 meter deep mine yielded over 3 tons of diamonds before being closed.
Glory Hole – Monticello Dam, California
A glory hole is used when a dam is at full capacity and water needs to be drained from the reservoir. It is the largest spillway of this type in the world and consumes 14,400 cubic feet of water every second.
Great Blue Hole, Belize
This incredible geographical phenomenon known as a blue hole is situated 60 miles off the mainland of Belize . There are numerous blue holes around the world, but none as stunning as this one.
Sinkhole in Guatemala
This photo is of a sinkhole that occurred in Guatemala . The hole swallowed 2 dozen homes and killed at least 3 people.
SHIT HOLE, CANBERRA
This hole swallows billions and billions of our Dollars annually! The money that falls into this hole is never heard from again! It is reported to contain at least 186 smaller ones known as ‘arse’ holes.
And so ends another Friday Funnies. I’m sure that no matter what country you live in you have your very own shit hole. If that’s true why not tell us about it in the comments.
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