Haircut Political Humour Friday Funnies #338

After an earlier post on political humour, I got another email titled The Haircut. The haircut wasn’t at all what I was expecting, but that’s what makes some jokes truly funny. So, without further ado I give you…

The Haircut

Blessed are those that can give without remembering, and take without forgetting.

 

haircut

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’ The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a ‘thank you ‘ card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then an MP came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The MP was thrilled and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen MPs lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it. As Margaret Thatcher said: Both politicians and nappies need to be changed often and for the same reason!

Speaking about those pesky politicians I did a video not so long ago about Australian politician ripping of Aussies

Don’t forget to check out some of my other hilarious jokes. Love funny videos? Then you’ve got to watch my funny laughaholics videos. Also, don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel.

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Political Humour Friday Funnies #150

For today’s Friday Funnies I thought I would write about a little political humour. As usual I got the following bit of political humour in my email. I’m constantly amazed how some people can come up with some of this stuff. It’s really quite witty.

Political Humour 2015

WELCOME to 2015:
 
• Our Phones – Wireless

• Cooking – Fireless

• Cars – Keyless

• Food – Fatless

• Tires –Tubeless

• Dress – Sleeveless

• Youth – Jobless

• Leaders – Shameless

• Relationships – Meaningless

• Attitudes – Careless

• Babies – Fatherless

• Feelings – Heartless

• Education – Valueless

• Children – Mannerless

• Country – Godless
 
We are SPEECHLESS,
Government is CLUELESS,
 
And our Politicians are WORTHLESS !
 
I’m scared – Shitless!!

The thing with most political humour is that not everybody finds them funny. It all depends on which side of the political fence you’re sitting on. That being the case it’s pretty hard trying to find political humour that someone won’t find offensive. Luckily I fount the following cartoon that I reckon almost everyone would agree with.

political humour

That image has a hell of a lot of truth in it. It never ceased to amaze me how politicians never have to tighten their belts but the rest of the country has to.

While there are probably a lot of honest politicians out there I’m sure there are also some shady ones as well. Have you ever wondered how some companied win government contracts? I know there are times when a lot of people are left scratching their heads after some contracts are one. A lot of the time it doesn’t include local businesses and other times you know they could have done better with the price.

I wonder if maybe the following joke has some truth in it?

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.”

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$2,700.” The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?” The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.” “Done!” replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work.

And that my loyal readers is the end of another Friday Funnies. I sure hope you enjoyed this weeks political humour.

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