Marriage Jokes Friday Funnies #379

I thought for today’s Friday Funnies I’d come up with a few marriage jokes. But before I do that I want to link to my latest Laughaholics video, LOL Irish Jokes. OK, now on with my Marriage Jokes.

Funniest Marriage Jokes

marriage jokes

A 60-year-old millionaire who just got married throws a huge wedding reception. 

All his friends are jealous, and in a quiet moment, one of them asks him how he landed such a hot 23-year-old beauty?

“It was easy,” grinned the millionaire, “I faked my age.”

Incredulous, one of his friends askes, “So how old did you tell her you were?”

“Well”, he replied. “I said I was 87!”

I reckon the wife in the next joke is a blond. 😜

When some newlyweds wake up one morning on their honeymoon, the husband rolls over and says to his new bride, “Darling, why don’t you brew us some coffee?”

The wife looks confused, “I would honey, but I’m pretty sure that’s one of your jobs.”

Now the husband is confused, “What? Why?”

The wife replies, “Because the Bible says so darling.”

To which the husband replies, “That’s crap, there’s nothing in the Bible that says whos job it is to brew the coffee.

“Of course it does,” says the wife grabbing a Bible and flipping pages at random: “See? It’s all over the place, Hebrews, Hebrews, Hebrews.”

Finally, we find how a wife maintains her calm after many years of marriage.

One evening an elderly couple are having a conversation. “Honey,” says the old man, “I’m so sorry that I get angry with you so often over the years. How do you manage to stay so calm despite all my foul moods?”

That’s easy,” says the wife. “I just go and clean the toilet when that happens.”

“And how does that helps?” asks the old man.

“Because I always use your toothbrush,” replied the elderly woman.

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If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest video Luminar 4 Review which show just how easy it is to replace a dull sky for a truly dramatic one in your photos.