Friday Funnies Archives - Page 2 of 18

Funny Side Of Life

Post author:Peter
Post published:April 9, 2021
Post category:Friday Funnies

The funny side of life is a humorous look at life in general including the food we should or should not eat. It also takes a look at how good exercise is for you and whether alcohol is a good or bad thing. I hope you see the funny side of life as a satirical and not a factual post.

Japanese Doctor’s Look At The Funny Side Of Life

*Q*: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

*A*: Heart only good for so many beats, and that’s it… Don’t waste time on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it’s like saying you extend life of a car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

*Q*: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

*A*: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that means they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottoms up!

*Q*: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

*A*: Can’t think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain…good!

*Q*: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

*A*: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

*Q*: Is chocolate bad for me?

*A*: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

*Q*: Is swimming good for your figure?

*A*: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

*Q*: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

*A*: Hey! ‘Round’ is also a shape!

Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

Finally the Japanese Doctor summed up: Look mister, Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Beer in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride my life was”!!!!!😂

Eat whatever you like because you will still DIE, don’t allow motivational speakers deceive you.

1. The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54

2. The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57

3. The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41

4. The best footballer in the world Maradona, died at the age of 60.

BUT

5. The KFC inventor died at 94.

6. Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88

7. Imagine, cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102

8. The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake

9. Hennessey inventor dies at 98.

How did these doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?

The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 400 years.

So, Take some rest, Chill, Stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life. You will still die.

Looking For More Laughs?

And now, for my customary self-promotion of my growing YouTube Channel. As you know, I’m always looking for new subscribers, so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel. My most popular video, with over 20k views, is the funny golf video. Wouldn’t it be great if my funny canary joke became as popular?

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image, you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip. I’ve also found LuminarA1 to be a fantastic photo editor.

I’ve also added to my Laughaholics series with two new funny videos. The lazy husband video and my Girl Lodger joke are all about a young woman with no pubic hair.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts.

Three Sons Joke

Post author:Peter
Post published:March 26, 2021
Post category:Friday Funnies

Today’s joke is called the three sons joke because, funny enough, it involves three sons. 😉It’s about a father who tries to teach his three sons the importance of learning from life’s experiences.

A Lesson From The Three Sons Joke

A man spoke to each of his 3 sons when he sent them off to college, “I feel I must provide you with the best possible education, and you do not owe me anything for that. However, I want you to appreciate it. As a token, please each put $1,000 into my coffin when I die.”

One of his sons became a doctor, another a lawyer and the other a financial planner. Each of his sons was very successful financially. When their father’s time had come, and they saw their father in the coffin, they remembered his wish.

First, the doctor put 10 newly printed crisp $100 bills onto the chest of the deceased.

Then, the financial planner also put $1,000 there in 20 newly printed crisp $50 bills.

Finally, it was the heartbroken lawyer’s turn. He reached into his pocket, took out his chequebook, wrote a check for $3,000, put it into his father’s coffin, and took the $2,000 cash.

Amazing, isn’t it? I thought the financial-planner would have been the one to con his brothers, but I should have realised the lawyer would be the one to fiddle the books. Do you think the father would have been proud of his lawyer son?

Looking For More Laughs?

And now, for my customary self-promotion of my growing YouTube Channel. As you know, I’m always looking for new subscribers, so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel. My most popular video, with over 20k views, is the funny golf video. Wouldn’t it be great if my funny cricketer joke became as popular?

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image, you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip. I’ve also found LuminarA1 to be a fantastic photo editor.

I’ve also added to my Laughaholics series with two new funny videos. The lazy husband video and my Girl Lodger joke are all about a young woman with no pubic hair.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts.

Getting Married Joke

Post author:Peter
Post published:March 19, 2021
Post category:Friday Funnies

We all know that getting married is a serious business. We also know that life has a way of chucking a spanner into the works and that sometimes it can have hilarious consequences. Today’s getting married joke shows us one such occasion.

A Getting Married Joke That’s LOL Funny

funny getting married joke — Created with the **Graphics Creator**

Today’s getting married joke starts as three couples are trying to get married at the same church. There is a young couple, a middle-aged couple, and an elderly couple. They all meet with the priest to discuss when they can get married.

The priest isn’t one to mince words and says, “If you wish to get married in my church, you must all go one month without having sex!”

The three couples return to the church a month later to talk to the priest. The priest turns to the elderly couple first and asks them, “Have you completed the month without having sex?”

“Yes, we have; it was easy,” replies the elderly couple.

“How about you?” He asks the middle-aged couple.

“It was fairly hard, but we managed not to have sex for the whole month,” they respond.

Finally, the priest turns to the youngest of the three couples. “And how about you two, did you manage to abstain from having sex?”

“We tried, we really did, but we couldn’t do it,” responds the boyfriend.

“Tell me why,” asks the priest.

“Well, my girlfriend had a can of corn in her hand, and she accidentally dropped it. She bent over to pick it up, and that’s when it happened. I couldn’t help myself; I had her right there and then!”

The priest shakes his head sorrowfully and then tells them, “I’m sorry, but you’re not welcome in my church.”

“That’s ok, we’re not welcome in the local supermarket either,” says the boyfriend.

Looking For More Laughs?

Check out last week’s Irishman goes to the doctor post.

You’re always going to get a hearty laugh by watching Laughaholics videos. You can watch me telling this actual joke on YouTube. There’s also my hilarious counselling joke video. While you’re there, why not join my growing YouTube Channel. As you know, I’m always looking for new subscribers, so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel.

Also, my funny golf joke has really taken off and should hit the 20,000 views very soon.

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image, you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip. I’ve also found Luminar 3 to be a fantastic photo editor.