Funny James Bond Joke

It’s been so long since the last Friday’s Funny joke that I knew I had to make this a good one which is why I’m posting this Funny James Bond joke. In case you’re not in the mood to read this funny James bond joke you can listen to my James Bond Best Pickup Line.

Funny James Bond Joke To Make You LOL

A confident James Bond walks into a bar and sits next to a beautiful woman.
He glances at her, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

funny James Bonde joke

The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

Bond explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any knickers.”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well, I don’t think the watch is working properly because I am wearing knickers!”

Bond smirks while tapping his watch and says, “Bloody thing’s an hour fast.”

Funny James blonde Joke

Other Topics To Keep You Entertained

My FitBit Pay not working on my Ionic has proved to be a popular post.

And now, for my customary self-promotion of my growing YouTube Channel. As you know, I’m always looking for new subscribers, so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel. My most popular video, with over 20k views, is the funny golf video. Wouldn’t it be great if the farmer’s daughter and his wife became as popular?

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image, you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip. I’ve also found LuminarA1 to be a fantastic photo editor.

Continue ReadingFunny James Bond Joke

Funny Wisdom Jokes

I thought for today’s Friday Funnies posts, I write a couple of funny wisdom jokes. The first of the funny wisdom jokes take place in a pub.

Funny Wisdom Jokes
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Wisdom Jokes – Oversexed Girlfriend

These two young guys are sitting in a pub having a beer. One of the guys turns to the other and says, “Shit mate, you’re looking really tired these days!”

His mate replies, “Man, I am bloody exhausted. My new girlfriend wants sex all the time. It could be three, four and sometimes even six times a night. She wakes me up at all hours of the night to have sex. I’m not sure how long I can keep this up. I wish I knew what to do.”

An old bloke, probably in his seventies, is sitting a few stools down from them and overhears their conversation. He takes a sip of his beer, looks over at the two mates who are having the conversation and, showing the wisdom of all his years, says, “Marry her! That will put a stop to all that nonsense!”

A Wise Mother Superior

A 98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland, was on her death bed. All the nuns had gathered around her bed, trying to make her last journey comfortable.

They tried giving her some warm milk to drink but she refused it.

One of the nuns took the glass of milk back to the kitchen and remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior’s bed, she held the glass to her lips. The Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more, and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.

“Mother,” the nuns asked with earnest, “please give us some wisdom before you die.”

She raised herself up in bed and said, “Whatever you do, don’t sell that cow!”

Looking For More Laughs?

And now, for my customary self-promotion of my growing YouTube Channel. As you know, I’m always looking for new subscribers, so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel. My most popular video, with over 20k views, is the funny golf video. Wouldn’t it be great if my funny Irish drunk joke became as popular?

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image, you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip. I’ve also found LuminarA1 to be a fantastic photo editor.

I’ve also added to my Laughaholics series with two new funny videos. The lazy husband video and my Girl Lodger joke are all about a young woman with no pubic hair. 

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts.

Continue ReadingFunny Wisdom Jokes

Funny Side Of Life

The funny side of life is a humorous look at life in general including the food we should or should not eat. It also takes a look at how good exercise is for you and whether alcohol is a good or bad thing. I hope you see the funny side of life as a satirical and not a factual post.

Japanese Doctor’s Look At The Funny Side Of Life

*Q*: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

*A*: Heart only good for so many beats, and that’s it… Don’t waste time on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it’s like saying you extend life of a car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

*Q*: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

*A*: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that means they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottoms up!

*Q*: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

*A*: Can’t think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain…good!

*Q*: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

*A*: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

*Q*: Is chocolate bad for me?

*A*: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

*Q*: Is swimming good for your figure?

*A*: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

*Q*: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

*A*: Hey! ‘Round’ is also a shape!

Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

Finally the Japanese Doctor summed up: Look mister, Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Beer in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly  used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride my life was”!!!!!😂

Eat whatever you like because you will still DIE, don’t allow motivational speakers deceive you.

funny side of life

1. The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54

2. The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57

3. The world bodybuilding champion  died at the age of 41

4. The best footballer in the world Maradona, died at the age of 60.

BUT

5. The KFC inventor died at 94.

6. Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88

7. Imagine, cigarette maker Winston  died at the age of 102

8. The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake

9. Hennessey inventor dies at 98.

How did these doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?

The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives  400 years.

So, Take some rest, Chill, Stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life. You will still die.

Looking For More Laughs?

And now, for my customary self-promotion of my growing YouTube Channel. As you know, I’m always looking for new subscribers, so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel. My most popular video, with over 20k views, is the funny golf video. Wouldn’t it be great if my funny canary joke became as popular?

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image, you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip. I’ve also found LuminarA1 to be a fantastic photo editor.

I’ve also added to my Laughaholics series with two new funny videos. The lazy husband video and my Girl Lodger joke are all about a young woman with no pubic hair. 

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts.

Continue ReadingFunny Side Of Life

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