I hope you love funny condom jokes because today’s post is all about funny condom jokes. In case you’re wondering what inspired this post is was my latest funny condom video. What was really weird is that this wasn’t my first funny condom jokes video. I did one so long ago, I completely forgot about it. That video was called the condom – franger joke. Man, I looked so young in that video. ?

Funny Condom Jokes

I had just turned sixteen when I went to buy a packet of condoms from the pharmacy. The beautiful assistant behind the counter could see I had no idea what it was all about. She handed me a pack and asked if I knew how to wear one. When I said no, so she unwrapped the pack, took one out and slipped it over her thumb to show me how it all worked.

She could see I was still confused, so she looked around the store to see if it was empty and took me through a door and then locked it. Taking my hand, she led me to the back of the room. She unhooked her bra, exposing her bare breasts.

“Do these excite you?” She asked. All I could do was nod my head. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and laid down on the desk. “Well, come on. We don’t have much time.” She said.

So I climbed on her and within moments I was done. She looked at me and said, “Did you put the condom on?”

I said “I sure did!” And held my thumb up to show her. She fainted.

This young man walks into the chemist to buy some condoms. The cashier, after explaining that the condoms come in packs of 3, 9, and 12, asked him what pack size he wanted.

The young man then explains; “Well, I’ve been seeing this girl for a while now, and I think tonight will be ‘the night’. We’re having dinner with her parents, and then going out. I know that once she’s had me, she’ll want me all the time so I’ll have the 12 pack.” He makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he arrives at the dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He then asks if he can lead the blessing prayer. He begins the prayer but continues praying for a few more minutes. 

His girlfriend leans over and whispers “I didn’t know you were so religious.”

He responds, “Yeah, and I didn’t know your dad worked at the chemist.”