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You Can’t Please Everyone So Stop Trying

In my last post about whether or not you’re providing value to your readers I said that the term value would mean “different things for different people and there is no way you can please everybody so there is no use in trying.” I was thinking about that today and I came to the conclusion that particular statement just didn’t cut it, that perhaps it needed a post all of it’s own.

I know if I was to look at my own life I could safely say that I’m the type of guy that is always trying to please everyone around me. Business wise it makes sense as you want to make sure that your customers are always satisfied and personal wise it also makes perfect sense because you also want to make your loved ones are happy. But at what cost?

Let’s not kid ourselves, keeping others happy always comes at a cost and we’re the ones that are paying for it. The problem is that for some people they don’t know when to say no and they are so busy trying to keep others happy that it affects their own quality of life. This is not a good thing and learning to say no once in awhile won’t make you a bad person. Even when it comes to business there are times when the customer has to realize that you can’t just drop everything for something that can wait until tomorrow.

I used to have the tendency to let this infect my blogging life. I used to worry about every post. Was it up to scratch? Will people like it? Will someone leave a comment and if they do will I be able to respond in kind, and you know what, it didn’t make my posts any better, in fact it made them worse and it almost ended my blogging career.

That’s when I decided I wasn’t going to worry about trying to please everyone. I decided it was an impossible task and rather than let it ruin my blogging experience I decided to throw the idea of pleasing everyone out the cyber window. Almost immediately blogging became enjoyable again, I felt one with the blogging world and it showed it my posts. No longer strained and withdrawn they jumped to life and my witty lovable self started to shine through.

Truth be told no matter how much you worry about stuff it’s not going to change the state of the way things are. Just do your best enjoying the process and bask in the knowledge that you just can’t please everyone but at least those few you did please were nice enough to leave a comment. What’s that, they only wanted a link back to their site? Well tough titties, it’s still a damn comment. :tongue_laugh_ee:

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Peter Pelliccia

I'm an Aussie blogger who loves to blog and share everything that I've learned on my blogging journey, including blogging tips and ways to blog for money. I am also trying to make my way on YouTube. You can follow my progress by subscribing to My Bonzer Channel.

This Post Has 67 Comments

  1. That is so true! I struggled with this a lot when I first started blogging, and would actually re-edit my posts after I finished writing them if I thought that it would offend people or that it could make people disagree with me. But once you liberate yourself with the thought that you can’t please everyone it makes blogging a much more enjoyable pass time!
    .-= Thomas@SEO Services´s last blog ..Create Niche Products: eBooks =-.

  2. Absolutely true Sire. Pleasing everyone is difficult and thats not our job too. Topics are always open to interpretations. What feels good to me will be bad for sure to someone else. Nothing much can be done to fix it. They are almost like cohesive. Blogs usually contains information which benefits, but its not possible to have that always. Its also a platform for ventilating other thoughts which includes personal and social genres. I think discretion should be at the visitors end. Dont like the content, stay away. Thats it. Liked it, spread and comment if you wish.

  3. In my early days I face it to and that frustrate me well. Later I decide I should write the way I want and let the people decide is that enjoyable or not! And from that time I’m enjoying my blogging even better. I just right what I really want to right.
    .-= Arafat Hossain Piyada´s last blog ..How to lock desktop without effecting running process? =-.

      1. Yeah! LoL :)
        .-= Arafat Hossain Piyada´s last blog ..Giveaway: 5 License keys of Handy Backup Standard Edition =-.

  4. There you go, quit worrying about everyone else. Of course you are writing for your readers, but some will like it and some won’t.
    .-= Mike Roosa´s last blog ..Forum Marketing Ninja Tip #5 – Post Early, Post Often =-.

  5. I totally agree with you. We’ll have more fun with what we do and will be happier with the results if we stop worrying too much about what others may think. At the same time, we should treasure the ones who appreciate our work and know their comments and opinions
    .-= Julius´s last blog ..Can Blind People See? =-.

    1. Yes, we should treasure them, and that means we should reply to them whenever we can, something many bloggers could learn.
      .-= Sire´s last blog ..Giving MyLikes The Thumbs Up =-.

  6. The moment you stop having fun doing what your doing, it’s time to reinvent, restart or leave it behind. To be honest, i have time to reply to comments and engage with followers/commentators/audiences but i don’t have the time to wonder “what if”. I’m glad you feel the way you do, that’s how we should all feel. :)
    .-= Josiah@Free iPad´s last blog Introduces iPad App =-.

    1. Yeah, the dreaded what if factor is something we can all do without as I reckon it holds many people back from achieving their true worth.
      .-= Sire´s last blog ..Win A Trip For Two To Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Mansion =-.

  7. Sire we love your witty loveable self! It is your ease and enjoyment with this home you freely invite us into that makes your blog such a pleasure. One gets the experience not only of learning something (which I must say I greatly enjoy) but also that of hanging out with a friend. Thank you for keeping it real!
    .-= Kimberly Castleberry@wordpress & faceook´s last blog ..How To Make A Link Open In A New Window in WordPress =-.

    1. Twitter:
      Okay Kimberly, you’re going to make him impossible to live with and he’ll be creating another bad joke video, so stop complimenting him. Heck, it might already be too late! :nono_tb:

      I guess that’s why I have to keep beating him in chess. :ponder_tb:
      .-= Mitch´s last blog ..Facebook Says “Privacy? Pffbt!” =-.

      1. Actually I have been thinking about another video, I’m just waiting for some free time. :innocent1_tb:

        Don’t you go paying Mitch no mind now Kimberly he’s just worried that I may get a big head and we all know it’s too late for that. :laugh_tb:

        Mitch, as to chess I think it’s your move.

        1. Twitter:
          Hey, a man has to sleep sometimes! :surrender_tb:
          .-= Mitch´s last blog ..The Oatmeal =-.

          1. Yeah, that’s true, you sure need your senses about you when playing me :laugh_tb:

  8. Hmm sorry but I really disagree with this whole post.

    I think when you are running a blog you provide value and help others. In some way you are a leader. A leader should do his own thing, take risks and not worry at all what others think about him or his content.

    You know that you are providing great information on this blog so why should you care what other think about it or need their reassurance.
    .-= Alex@Zahnbleaching ´s last blog ..Braun Oral-B Sonic Complete DLX – Testbericht =-.

    1. So what you’re really saying is that you agree with the post because that’s exactly the point I made. Did you even read it through?
      .-= Sire´s last blog ..Being Real BloggerLuv And Huge Breasts =-.

      1. I agree with the agreeing of the disagreement to the agree-ability of the unread post! (And you can delete this comment if you want, but I had to get in a laugh at this!)

        These are exactly the kind of people you can never please!
        .-= Kimberly Castleberry@wordpress & faceook´s last blog ..GoDaddy, WordPress, Hacking & Backups, Oh My! =-.

      2. I know if I was to look at my own life I could safely say that I’m the type of guy that is always trying to please everyone around me. Business wise it makes sense as you want to make sure that your customers are always satisfied and personal wise it also makes perfect sense because you also want to make your loved ones are happy. But at what cost?

        Yes, I read the post and I disagree that in any part of anyones life it makes perfect sense to please everyone around you.

        Btw I love the reply to your comment. Last part is the best xD
        .-= Alex@Zahnbleaching´s last blog ..Zahnseide FAQ: Wie verwende ich Zahnseide richtig? =-.

        1. Alex at first you say you disagree with the whole post and then you highlight the part you disagree with. If found your original comment strange because the crux of the whole post was that people should stop worrying about trying to please everyone.

          As to your second comment, what I was trying to get across was that although it makes sense to try and please others in business and personal relationships one should know when to say no.
          .-= Sire´s last blog ..About Money And Blogs updated Mon Mar 1 2010 11:48 pm CST =-.

            1. Like you said Alex it’s all good, and you haven’t messed up the comment section at all mate as the whole reason for commenting is to discuss any particular subject. Yes sometimes we may not agree but that’s OK as long as we’re civil about it.

  9. Good we didn’t lose that loveable witty South Australian Aussie Rules supporter. A mean bad tempered Sire would have been too much to bear!


    1. Yeah, right, you’d rather put up with a stuck up know it all :innocent1_tb: :laugh_tb:

  10. I think I may have been practicing this for some time. Even now, I’ve never quite found a specific niche on which to concentrate. Thus, being a niche-less blog, I post whatever strikes my fancy. I’m not sure if this is good blogging practice but I certainly am practicing an aspect of not caring whether the majority of readers (and those who stray in) are pleased by each post I output.
    .-= James Moralde´s last blog ..Delayed Amazon Checks By Mail =-.

    1. I started out that way,James, but with my blogger blogs I started to niche my posts. Makes them interesting and you can get different followers that way.

      .-= peter petterson´s last blog ..Richie McCaw’s reaction time tested ahead of Crusaders semi–final with the Bulls in Soweto… =-.

    2. James who cares if it’s good blogging practice, as long as you and your readers are enjoying your blog together, that’s all that counts.

  11. Hey, I am so glad to have read this post, I think sometimes I over think everything and it holds me back, I sometimes sit for ten minutes trying to talk myself into hitting the publish button, I dread writing a post that gets little or no comments, but like you said I have taken all the fun out of blogging, your post has gave me a new lease of blogging life and from now on I am posting what I want and if people are not pleased by it, I won’t worry so much anymore, thanks again Sally :)
    .-= Sally´s last blog ..Alex Jeffreys Oil Rig Blog Hopping Made Easy =-.

    1. Sally I’m so happy that I was able to help you in this one facet of blogging and I hope that from now on you have a good blogging experience, and don’t worry, the comments will come.

  12. Awesome Post. This happens to me a lot, when i started my blogging journey. sometimes i just write a post and delete it. Why? simply because, I think no one will it, no one going to comment. But, now i have stopped thinking in this way. :D ~ !

    .-= Dev @ Technshare´s last blog ..Why you Need to Get Started Now! =-.

    1. You know, if you think about it Dev that very post you deleted may have been the one that went viral, and now you’ll never know. Perhaps that is something to think about.

  13. “You Can’t Please Everyone So Stop Trying”

    Amen to that. However, in our business we kinda need to please everyone, so figuring out what makes folks tick is quite the chore. One person wants updates daily, while the next person doesn’t want to be bothered, etc., etc.

    Probably a good thing you’ve tried to keep people happy Sire. I would keep things that way, but also develop a thick skin. Some people will not be happy no matter what you say or do.
    .-= Colleen@Kennewick Real Estate´s last blog ..West Pasco Washington Homes For Sale =-.

    1. Yep, I know what that is all about and I have to admit there has been a couple of occasions where I’ve nearly told a customer where to go but have held myself in check. But if one of those customers ever abused one of my staff I would not hesitate to drop them. I like making money just as much as the next guy but there are limits to what I will tolerate.

      1. We simply shoot those kinds of customers here in the States! [grins]
        .-= Colleen@Kennewick Real Estate´s last blog ..Tri Cities Washington Cold Winter Nights Makes For Abundant Springtime Babies =-.

        1. Really, we just pistol whip ’em :guns_tb: :smoke_tb: :laugh_tb:

  14. I’m with ya brother, no kiddin’!

    With blogging itself I learned early on to adapt the ‘ol attitude, “I blog when, where, why, how I want to in order to serve you better; STILL don’t like it? The person next to you does so move.”

    So I’ve never had that particular problem with blogging. Everything else however…

    Like giving away countless hours for free and it still not being enough. Some big changes in that area coming soon as well.
    .-= Dennis Edell @ Direct Sales Marketing´s last blog ..10 Social Share Sites Chosen – Do You Agree? =-.

    1. Yeah, there is only so much that a person can do, and sometimes we just have to realize when we are honestly helping someone out and when we are being taken advantaged of.

      1. Unfortunate;y, I was several years too slow in the uptake of that one.
        .-= Dennis Edell @ Direct Sales Marketing´s last blog ..Aweber Affiliate Link Contest! – This Is It!! =-.

  15. Sire you are so right that most of the time a high price is paid by those of us who worry about trying to appease the masses, in our efforts to achieve this we usually set ourselves up to fail and ultimately let others down. So you are right the only way around that is to be our authentic selves on our blogs and in our lives and those of like mind will be attracted to us like a moth to a flame!

    Love your posts! Keep keeping it real!

    “Dream, Believe, Become…”
    .-= Tracey Keefer @ Free MLM Help´s last blog ..The Charles Schulz Philosophy! A Theoretical Perspective =-.

    1. Thanks Tracey, and I shall do my best.

      Moth to a flame huh, hope no-one get’s their wings burnt :tongue_rolleye_ee:

  16. Twitter:
    Yeah, the only person you need to worry about is me, only because I check your spelling and grammar then “out” you for it. Kind of like the phrase “post all of it’s own.” lol

    You’re right, Sire, but I hope folks take it the right way. You can’t please everyone, but you might have to make a determination on just who it is you really want to please. For instance, in your regular business I know you do a lot of things you’d rather not to please the people who pay you. I probably do also, though I tend to not be as gracious across the board as you are. I need to learn more of that, I think. Nah! :drunk_tb:
    .-= Mitch´s last blog ..The Business Of Blogging =-.

    1. That’s so true Mitch, but only to a certain point, once a customer crosses that line I would rather lose them than put up with any of their crap, such as abusing me or my drivers.

        1. Yeah, especially considering how hard it is to find good employees, that and the fact that it’s a pain having to train them up.

  17. There’s an old song by Ricky Nelson (and, Sire, this goddess realizes you’re waaaay to young to know it!) whose lyrics go:
    “But it’s alright now. I’ve learned my lesson well.
    You see, you can’t please everyone
    so you’ve got to please yourself.”

    And the irony is that, once you Stop trying to please everyone and just Be yourself – as lovable, witty, irreverent, obnoxious, goddess-like as that might be – you start pleasing more people than ever.

    Because authenticity and character never go out of style.

    So pleased the goddess Kimberly introduced us, Sire.
    Here’s to being Us!

    Bllss and blessings,
    the goddess known as Jacqui
    .-= Jacqueline Gates@inner goddess´s last blog ..How I became a Goddess, working for Starbucks for $7 an hour =-.

    1. Strangely enough Jacqueline I have heard of that song, so perhaps I’m not as young as you think. :tongue_wink_ee:

      I also am pleased that Kimberly brought us together, I’ve always got room for some extra gals in my blogging life. :devil_tb:

  18. Very true words Sire. It’s something that everyone in any business has to learn at some point as well. That is not to say you shouldn’t try to cater to a client, but you shouldn’t go over the top either. After all, they are coming to you because they need something! I guess the same type of outlook could be put towards blogging. They are coming to you to read something!
    .-= Ryan Cowles@Metacom Creative Design´s last blog ..Hiking to Headstones – Granby and Simsbury, CT =-.

    1. Yep, provide the best service possible but don’t take more crap than is necessary.

  19. If you want to get more traffic, higher page rank, more money, then you must provide value to your readers. Thats what every bloggers new mantra is, but i like the fact that you’ve identified a really good point – It’s impossible to provide the same level of value to everyone and thinking about it is indeed torture. I think the value that you provide should be an internal value that corresponds with the main reason that you decided to create the blog in the first place – that way the only person you have to please is yourself. I would much rather hear what you have to say than what you think i might want to hear.
    .-= Fast Break Music´s last blog ..fastbreakmusic: HOTT PICK of the Week: LARRY McDONALD: =-.

    1. That makes sense, but then some people could be over critical of their work and so would never publish something that would be entirely acceptable by others. If that’s true it may be better to bite the bullet, press publish and just see what happens.

  20. Good timing of the post. I have about 10 projects going on and decided to start telling people sorry. I don’t like to compromise quality so like you said, sometimes you have to to do what you have to do.
    .-= Anthony @ Innovatively Simple´s last blog ..Discipline Your Mind for Your Heart =-.

    1. Way to go Anthony, let others be the judge and if they critique the work at all then at least you know where to make your improvements for future posts.

  21. I used to try and please everyone, but there’s always going to be someone who’s disappointed and then I end up with a headache and a stomach ache. Now I just try to do the best I can and hope for the best!
    .-= Andrea´s last blog ..Shia LaBeouf Bites the Hand That Feeds Him =-.

    1. Yep, and you will be so much happier for it.

  22. I am not that afraid to post a blog post anymore. I just write a post that I like, try to minimize grammar error, and than publish it. Too afraid will kill our creativity.
    .-= Dana @ Blogging Tips Blog´s last blog ..4 Steps How To Write A Long Blog Post Easily =-.

  23. I always try to please everyone, like I am now blogging at 1:00AM. I’m starting to learn a valuable lesson about saying no. I like the feeling and power of NO!

  24. I agree with you Sire. This is true of life in general, you really can’t please everyone. It takes a load off your shoulders when you realize that and move on not worrying about it.
    .-= Danny @ Fl Vacation Rentals´s last blog ..Indian Shores Vacation Rental 106 =-.

    1. Hey Danny, you think I should start charging for this advice? :laugh_tb:

  25. I just wanted a link back to my site ;)
    Hahah jk or am I? Well if anyone tries to please everyone around them, that person is me. My family hates each other and since I never am on anyone’s bad side I tend to be the person that everyone goes to just so they can let out a few bad rumors. I just accept them all but I am tired of it. Pleasing everyone is just to much work.

    1. It sure is hard work, and sometimes it’s better to say no otherwise they will continue to abuse the situation.

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