As a blogger I tend to spend more time commenting on other peoples blogs than I do writing posts on my own blogs. Knowing this to be the case I was quite surprised when I received the following comment from Brian of BlogEngage fame;
You’ve only voted for 23 articles that weren’t yours! If you write an article please include in it why your not so social. I really expected more from you sire but nothing came from it. Every time I see you you’re always saying I’ll get involved soon etc… but here we are the same place we left off.
Karma Score of 6.00 is really poor for a being a members so long.
You can see his comment and my reply on Doug’s How To Get More Comments post. Of course Brian’s comment is 100% accurate, except perhaps that statement about saying I’ll always get involved soon but never do, as I’m pretty sure I’ve only said that once in relation to BlogEngage, but then I could be wrong.
The truth is that in real life I don’t actually like socializing but I do put myself out there, more for my family than anything else. The same can also be said about my Internet life. I am a member of Facebook, Digg, StumbleUpon, Friendfeed, Twitter and some others, I think you get the drift. Even though I am a member of those sites I am not overly active in any of them, even though I keep reading that they are all essential in blog promotion.
The one place where I do love to mix is as a commentator on other blogs. Commenting is possibly the one avenue where I feel comfortable when socializing, and I don’t see myself changing that anytime soon.
So, why am I such an anti-social person? I don’t really know, I’ve always been this way and I don’t care enough to blow a wad of money on a shrink to have him, or her, give me their educated guess as to the fact.
So, Brian, if I have a karma of 6 on BlogEngage consider yourself lucky my friend because that is more likely than not higher than any other site including my real life.
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Well I didn’t think it is fair to call you anti-social. It is a matter of preferences and you have chosen a path. Because one is a member of e.g. Facebook doesn’t mean that you have to spend all your time in there. Everything is a matter of choice and I honest don’t think that you’re anti social.
.-= Mikael @ Retire Rich´s last blog ..Just Do Something And Do It Now =-.
Thanks Mikael. Perhaps that was a poor choice of words on Brian’s part, but he did say it and I’ve just gone on with the flow.
It is possible to over-do the social stuff. Like you I am on various feeds and sites and like you I have become less and less active over time. There is a real danger of firstly spreading yourself too thin and secondly flooding the net and becoming a nuisance.
It’s a real problem with all these sites out there. I find it more important to add a real comment to a site I like than to put a pointless one liner up on a site I don’t really care about.
Bottom line is Facebook/Twtitter/StumbleUpon/etc have enough money. Normal bloggers don’t!
Well said Ray, and I sure ain’t one to overdo that social stuff, thats for sure, ergo this post.
I don’t think your completely anti-social, but then again, it is hard for me to say as I don’t know you personally. Maybe you are less social than the average person. Nothing wrong with that.
.-= The Gooroo´s last blog ..My Trip To Los Angeles – Summer 2009 =-.
Less social than the average person,
Yep, that sounds like me. I can socialize when I have to, there’s no problem there, I just don’t crave social company. Unless I’m in the company of people I know I’m the quiet guy in the corner soaking in the conversation.
Frankly, I think that’s really rude, and you can bet that if I get a message like that I’m gone from BlogEngage, period. That’s his baby, not yours, so you’re under no obligation to do squat (that’s an American term for “nothing”).
.-= Mitch´s last blog ..Do You Turn Comments Off? =-.
Thanks Mitch, and I’m actually familiar with the term squat. Still, that’s probably not enough to get me around New York safely.
The guns probably won’t get you around safely either.
.-= Mitch´s last blog ..Midway Review Of My 2009 Online Goals =-.
Damn. Maybe when I finally make it you will have to pick me up at the airport. They have one at Syracuse?
Of course we have an airport in Syracuse; we also used to have a military base here. We have the largest snowplow in the nation here also; it kind of figures, since we get the most snow annually for cities with an overall population of 100,000 or more.
.-= Mitch´s last blog ..Blog Writing Services =-.
Well, that settles it then, your picking me up.
Wow that’s pretty spicy. If someone told me that I would add them to my massive sh8t list LOL :) Well bloggers are obviously very aware of what people do or don’t do.I asked the dude to call me about 3 times nada.So we all have our own particular styles but I don’t check to see if my buddy stumbled me or whatever. I just reread that and I do like Brian ALOT and I think blogengage is a great site.
We all have good days and frustrating ones so I can understand the message in a way but I wouldn’t of told someone.Chalk it up to the dude was having a rough day.
I wanted to thank you for stopping by my blog and NOW YOU HAVE TO………………LOL :)
The bottom line when it’s all said and done all we have is each other ;)
.-= John Sullivan´s last blog ..Topic analysis in terms of google page rank =-.
Don’t get me wrong John, I still like Brian and have the utmost respect for him. I also agree it is a great site and have actually done a few posts promoting it.
I didn’t write this post because I was pissed. I did it at his bequest, but somehow I don’t think he would imagine it turning out this way.
If you are anti-social, then what am I doing here?, lol. I agree with Mikael, that you have chosen your path and that is what matters. I also have an account on FB and I am not active at all. Does that mean I am anti-social too? Maybe my Karma is just like yours, hehehe. Anyway, I could not resist but to tell you that in my community, you have a Karma of 4.9. That is of course on a scale of 1 to 5:) Have a nice day
Thanks mate, your pretty well up there in my book as well. Thanks for the comment.
Of course you’re not antisocial! Two things come to mind:
1) There is only so much time in a day, and you are spending yours the way you find most valuable. To me also, it is much more valuable to comment on someone’s blog and have a conversation with them and other commenters than it is to spend my time on StumbleUpon or something like that. You have a job and a family as well as blogging, right?
2) If you also don’t care so much about socializing in person, maybe you are an introvert. That’s a personality trait – not a bad thing at all. Do you enjoy talking to others but “recharge” by surfing the web or reading? Or commenting on blogs? ;) I definitely appreciate your comments and enjoy talking to you!
.-= Christie´s last blog ..Your chance to tell us your blogging tricks and tips! =-.
Yep, I have a family, and I’m pretty sure last time I went out I even have a few friends
Actually, if I’m with someone I know that I’m comfortable with, I’ve heard it said that they can’t shut me up. It’s only when I’m in a room of strange people that I would rather be somewhere else. I will add to a conversation if someone speaks to me directly, otherwise I am a mute. I also hate crowds.
It’s like anything else in life Sire, you will be better at the things you enjoy to do, doing something “because” hardly means your going to be the super bestest ever at it. haha.
It’s all good bro, a lot of people wouldn’t even take a moment to address it.
.-= Extreme John@Extreme John Blogs and Business´s last blog ..UFC 101 Review =-.
Actually, I’m betting you or I would have reacted much differently had we received such an email response.
.-= Mitch´s last blog ..My Top 16 Sci-Fi Movies Of All Time =-.
It wasn’t an email Mitch, he left the comment as part of a conversation thread on Doug’s blog.
From where I sit, that makes it worse, because then he called you out in public.
.-= Mitch´s last blog ..Do Something Out Of The Ordinary =-.
It’s like I’ve said in one of the other comments, maybe because I’m thick skinned, it didn’t really bother me and I saw it as a great opportunity for a post.
You have to pick and choose what you’re going to be engaging in. At the end of the day, there are an infinite number of social sites out there, and you just can’t be 100% involved in them. Obviously, this one isn’t one of your priorities. So what?
.-= Bob@Free Online Speed Reading´s last blog ..Free Software =-.
Thanks Bob, that’s how I feel, after all, there are so many social sites out theres, and so much to do in life that there is only so much one poor blogger can do.
I use to be the same way. I sat down one day and ask myself how I am going to be successful in this social world. So I picked the social sites that would allow me to be social but not that social and grow my blog at the same time. It seems to be working.
.-= Deneil Merritt´s last blog ..Girlfriend Went Crazy With Logo And eBook Cover =-.
Deneil, somehow, I don’t think there is anything that you do that doesn’t work well for you.
You’re a better man than I am, Sire, because I’m not so thick skinned. Course, I used to be, so it could be the diabetes affecting me, unfortunately.
.-= Mitch´s last blog ..Interviewing Diane Walker, Network Marketer =-.
No worries Mitch, I’ll take it for both of us mate. It’s the least I could do for putting up with me for so long.
Thanks; doesn’t mean I’m still not going to try to beat you at chess, though lol
.-= Mitch´s last blog ..Smoke Not So Much Revisited =-.
I would expect nothing less from you Mitch.
I am the same way. I will pick the ones that I am going to be social in. I have been commenting more on other blogs that is good. Thanks Greg Ellison
.-= Greg Ellison´s last blog ..How to get Files from your PC to the MAC =-.
No worries Greg, my aim is to inform, instruct and entertain.
[...] Development Why I Am Not Such A Social Person (Bloggers can make it through anything, just read the 2 articles below) I’m Alive! It’s Good To [...]
I’m not using BlogEngage..i just registered but not using.. Getting traffic from it?
.-= TechZoomIn´s last blog ..Make Money By Selling Resell Right Products On Your Blog..! =-.
If you were anti social then you wouldn’t be commenting on other people’s blogs let alone have a blog of your own. so I have to disagree with the notion that you are anti social. Maybe you only voted for the articles that you really liked. So I wouldn’t be so quick to agree with Brian if I were you ;-)
All the best,
Eren
.-= Eren@ homemaking´s last blog ..Gingerbread man decorations & decorating gingerbread house kits plans =-.
Thanks Eren, it’s not so much that I agree with Brian, rather that I know my limitations in the social scene, and it’s all cool because I am fine with that. Having said that, your comment did bring a smile to my face.
Wow, sounds a bit rude, but I guess he had to ask the question. We all have choices and we decide whats best for us. No one tells us to do this or that, ok, they do tell us but we can choose to ignore it or follow their lead.
Do what makes you happy, thats what counts.
.-= George Serradinho´s last blog ..Essential Blogging Tips – Part 1 =-.
I don’t think he meant to be rude, he just happened to put his foot in his mouth, something that shouldn’t happen when posting a comment as you normally have time to think about it before hitting submit. Then again we all make mistakes, and I’m sure I’ve made my fair share, I just don’t remember any of them.
.-= Sire´s last blog ..EURO’S MILLIONES LOTTERAL NOTIFICATION IS TOTAL BS =-.
Being social depends on your personality type like whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. I think your rating is perfectly normal as i know people like you doesn’t like nonsense things and know your priorities right,the people in your life hold great importance in your heart.And calling you anti social is quiet funny to me.You may be less social but you are not anti social.
Thanks Frank, it’s sure is great getting all this support from my dedicated readers.
I’m a little anti-social too in real life. I can’t stand crowds and I avoid social functions. I feel I carry myself very well in those circumstances but just don’t care for them. I see nothing wrong with that.
There are so many social type sites we join it’s impossible to concentrate on all of them all of the time. We only have so much time and we can’t give it all to one site, especially someone else’s site.
I don’t know Brian or BlogEngage but by that single statement it seems like a very poor method of motivation. I can’t really judge because I tend to let emotion take over too. Sometimes over-riding my business tact lol
I would be reluctant to join BlogEngage now. I’m sure I would be an under achiever and I wouldn’t want to be belittled for it.
.-= Brian D. Hawkins´s last blog ..Five Quick And Easy Steps To A One Page AdSense Site =-.
Don’t hold it against Brian, I’m sure he didn’t mean for it to sound the way it did. I’m sure he will be a lot more careful with his selections of words from now on and so there is no need to worry about being berated as an underachiever.
Jezz it must be frustrating to see so many comments on your blog based on misinformed information. I read every comment and maybe 3 people actually read what you wrote.
Sire you know as well as I do the only reason I said what I said is because on so many occasions you said you would be more active yet you never were.
I don’t mind your anti social behavior but when you continuously say something but never commit it’s frustrating.
You have been saying you will be more active for the past 2 years. Stop saying it and just relax! I accept you for who you are I don’t need you to be more active!
Even when you were staff on the blogengage forum I had issues with your attendance! Sure you had other obligations but again you try too hard and end up failing.
Just say the truth and if you cannot do something we won’t think less of you.
Just say you can’t do it.
.-= bbrian017´s last blog ..First day at Casa Loma =-.
One sees only what they want to see Brian.
It amazes me that you still call my behavior ant-social. I can honestly say that I don’t remember saying to you personally that I would be more active on your site on more than one or two occasions, certainly not as often as you ascertain.
Also I don’t ever recall being a staff member of your forum, and not being a member of staff why would I bother about having any obligation to attend.
Oh yes it seems I have you mixed up with someone else regarding the forum moderator stuff!
It’s hard to keep everything in check when I meet so many people!
I confused you for this person lol
http://www.blogengage.com/forum/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=58
Sorry!
Shit happens Brian….we all make mistakes mate.
There had better be a BIG open apology post to Sire, otherwise I’m done with BlogEngage. As you can see on this post, Sire has a lot of friends, and you mishandled this from the beginning by accusing the wrong person. That little “lol” at the end isn’t getting you off the hook on this one, Brian.
.-= Mitch´s last blog ..Sire’s Big Blogging Contest =-.
See Mitch your replying without reading! I wasn’t wrong Sire said he would be more active I only made a mistake about him being a moderator!
Personally I don’t care if your active or not it’s very obvious you don’t read before you write!
.-= bbrian017´s last blog ..First day at Casa Loma =-.
Great, stick by that story, Brian. I’m done with BlogEngage. Enjoy being rude and correct.
.-= Mitch´s last blog ..Sire’s Big Blogging Contest =-.
Look I don’t know why you’re more upset then Sire! I seen you on many blogs and you’re always aggressive and border line rude! If anyone should be upset it’s Sire and not you.
You misunderstood this whole thread and alone that says exactly what you’re about and the type of person you are.
I took the liberty of deleting your account on blogengage and look forward to a life without your uninformed criticism!
I’m also unsubscribing to this entire thread as I know the type of person you are and imagine you will be here stating your last insignificant word!
Sorry Mitch apparently I had pms…
.-= bbrian017´s last blog ..Vacation Update – Casa Loma =-.
I’m ready to let it go. I will always defend my friends, though, and Sire’s one of the best of them. I’m glad you apologized to him also.
So, we all move on from here; good stuff.
.-= Mitch´s last blog ..Lots Of Blather On Twitter =-.
I’m good with the whole thing. Reckon we should put the whole thing behind us. Damn, there’s no group hug smiley, reckon we will just have to drink to a new era
Brian I believe I’ve known Mitch a lot longer than you have and I have never known him to be aggressive, not once. He has always been polite and his comments informative and to the point.
The fact is that calling me ant-social because I am not active on your site was rude. Anyway, I’m done with this discussion and with your site so you may can delete my account as well.
oh come on now!
Cant we just turn the other cheek? I’m sorry if I offended you! Apparently I was in a bad mood :)
.-= bbrian017´s last blog ..Vacation Update – Casa Loma =-.
I thought that was what I was doing, and I was fine with the whole thing until you took a swipe at Mitch, a friend of mine, who was merely sticking up for a mate. If anything, Mitch is the one who you should be apologizing to.
You’re right I over reacted!
I don’t know maybe I’m thinking to much into it…
We live and we learn!
Sorry to you both if I offended!
bbrian017 aka Brian…
.-= bbrian017´s last blog ..Vacation Update – Casa Loma =-.
Glad to see that you are positive almost about anything & amazing to brag about it so stylishly! Cool!
I’m a known anti-social person. I grew up virtually isolated from the world and in the course of that grew to create this fantasy island where I spend most of my time.
I don’t party and don’t drink and I’m rarely in the mood to hang out except with my girlfriends who make each occasion fun as they always have the latest “gist” LOL.
Sometimes being anti-social works in my favor and sometimes it doesn’t.
I wish I had more “friends” not the “here for the good weather” types.
I’m also a member of all the sites you mention above but I rarely participate cos I’m not connected online 24/7. I do the best I can each time I’m online @ the cybercafe.
You can NEVER satisfy everybody so focus on those you can satisfy.
.-= Udegbunam Chukwudi@Make Money Online Tips´s last blog ..Top 10 Ways Nigerians Make Money Online =-.
That is so true Udegbunam, you just can’t satisfy everyone. You can’t be all that anti social, seeing as how you got girlfriends, that’s a good sign.
Whenever you’re online, and I’m around, you can always consider me as a friend.
.-= Sire´s last blog ..A Poem For Halloween The Night Of Frights =-.
Thanks for the gesture. Highly appreciated.
My girlfriends do help a lot unfortunately for me, them all will soon be getting married as their biological clock is ticking away ;). Hopefully we’ll still maintain contact even when the kids start coming.lol.
.-= Udegbunam Chukwudi@Make Money Online Tips´s last blog ..Protect Your Adsense Account From Bad Sites =-.
That’s the trouble about biological clocks, they keep ticking away. Still, you never know when a permanent girlfriend will come your way.
Oops! Sorry when I meant girlfriends I meant lady friends. lol