I think it’s time that I have a little fun with one of my poems. I reckon there are many of you who realize that I am not that great a poet but doesn’t stop me from trying to have a little fun with my poems. You may remember “Bullshit Is Not A Dirty Word“, where I changed the words of a famous Skyhooks song? Well, in this next one I played around with Roy Orbison’s Mean Woman Blues!
I got a woman mean as she can be
She plucks my eyes out so that I can’t see
I’m screaming in pain and she just don’t care
She just spits in my face and then pulls my hair
Oh, pity me woman, the pain is too much
Laughing hysterically she kicks me in the crutch
I bend over screaming clutching my balls
Thinking I am a man and I should stand tall
For stuff sake woman was it what I said
That your arse looks fat when you wear red
Or maybe it was that fateful day in May
When you caught me in bed with your sister Kay
Yeah I got a woman mean as she can be
She sees no reason and does not pity me
The pain I am feeling simply has no effect
I am blinded and her blows I just can’t deflect
Yeah I have no eyes but I see clearly now
You’re a bitch, a whore and a big fat cow
You drove me to that sister of yours
Every time I saw you pull down your drawers
That was a site that no man should see
I’m sure that all men would agree with me
So beat me woman as much as you can
A life in hell is better for this wretched man
Yep, I have a woman mean as she can be
But no longer can that woman torment me
And I’ve gone to hell where I belong
For making up this wretched song.
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