Top 3 Funny Jokes Of The Day
Today’s Top 3 Funny Jokes Of The Day is brought to you thanks to vidIQ, my personal AI Assistant. The first joke isn’t live yet, but you can watch it before anyone else by clicking the following link: She Stood Up to the Ventriloquist and What Happened Next Is Hilarious.
She Stood Up to the Ventriloquist and What Happened Next Is Hilarious
A ventriloquist is performing at a packed club, dummy on his knee, firing off his usual routine, including some cheeky blonde jokes. The crowd is laughing until suddenly, a blonde woman in the middle of the audience jumps to her feet.
“I’ve had ENOUGH of your stupid blonde jokes!” she shouts at the stage.
“What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does hair colour have to do with someone’s worth as a human being?”
The room goes dead silent.
“It’s men like YOU who keep women like ME from being respected at work and in the community. You perpetuate discrimination against blondes and women in general, all in the name of humour!”
The ventriloquist’s face goes bright red. He starts stammering an apology when the blonde cuts him off:
“You stay out of this, mister! I’m talking to that little shit on your knee!”
The crowd absolutely ERUPTS!
Our next joke takes place in a bar, and it’s called: Best Bar Jokes That Will Make You Laugh, and of course, clicking on the link will take you there.
Top 3 Funny Jokes Of The Day #2
Michael, a handsome bloke, strolled into a sports bar at 9:58 pm. He grabbed a seat next to a stunning blonde and fixed his eyes on the telly as the 10 o’clock news kicked off.
The news crew was covering a bloke standing on a ledge of a massive building, about to jump. Michael turned to the blonde and said, “Reckon he’ll jump.”
The blonde shot back, “Nah, I reckon he won’t.”
Michael slapped 30 dollars on the bar. “You’re on, love.”
The blonde matched his bet. Seconds later, the bloke on the ledge did a perfect swan dive, plummeting to his death.
The blonde’s face dropped. She handed over her 30 dollars. “Fair’s fair. Here’s your money.”
Michael pushed it back. “I can’t take it. I saw this on the 5 o’clock news. I knew he’d jump.”
The blonde paused, then replied, “Yeah, I saw it too. But I didn’t think he’d do it AGAIN.”
Michael took the money.
Our final joke for the day is Kids Ask The Funniest Questions Ever.
Kids Ask The Funniest Questions Ever Top 3 Funny Jokes Of The Day #3
A mum was driving her little ankle-biter to her mate’s place for a playdate.
“Mum?” the little girl piped up. “How old are ya?”
“Sweetheart, you don’t ask a sheila her age,” the mum replied. “It’s not on.”
“Right-o,” the little girl said. “How much do ya weigh then?”
“Bloody hell!” the mother said. “Those are personal questions and none of your beeswax.”
Not giving up, the little girl asked, “Why did you and Dad split up?”
“That’s enough questions, ya little sticky beak! Fair dinkum!” The exasperated mum walked off as the two mates began to play.
“My mum won’t tell me anything about herself,” the little girl said to her friend.
“No worries,” said the mate. “Just have a squiz at her driver’s licence. It’s like a school report card – it’s got everything on it.”
Later that arvo, the little girl said to her mother, “I know how old you are. You’re 32.”
The mother was gobsmacked and asked, “How’d you suss that out?”
“I also know that you weigh 63 kilos.”
The mother was beyond gobsmacked. She was absolutely ropeable.
“How in the bloody hell did you work that out?”
“And,” the little girl said triumphantly, “I know why you and Dad got divorced!”
“Strewth!” the mother asked. “Why’s that then?”
“Because you got an F in SEX!
So, which of those jokes was your favourite? Let me know in the comments.
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I also have another brilliant AI app that I use to create all my images called Artistly. Is Artistly AI Worth Your Money? Honest Review is a video that showcases a small portion of what Artistly is capable of. Because of Artistly, I never have to worry about getting caught using copyrighted images.