Think Before You Speak Friday Funnies #79

Have you ever heard of the expression, think before you speak? This is really important because if you don’t think before you speak you could put your foot in your mouth resulting in some really embarrassing situations. The same thing applies when leaving a comment on this blog. I want you to think before leaving a comment because to get your comment approved you need to go to this weeks funniest video on YouTube by clicking on this  LINK, leaving a comment there and LIKE the video. Once you’ve completed those steps you can leave a comment.

As an extra incentive I’ll even let you use a keyword instead of your name! How cool is that? :happy_tb: Normally I would spam your little ass if you used a keyword instead of your name. So, go and leave a comment on my latest YouTube video and hit the thumbs up “Like” icon and you’re good to go.  :thumbup_ee:

Think before you speak…

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak, the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back, or that you could crawl into a hole? I know I have. Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did….

FIRST TESTIMONY

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, “How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?” I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn’t say a word…he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women’s type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, “I think I like playing with mens balls”

THIRD TESTIMONY

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, “No, I’m just looking at your nuts.” My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget..

Think Before You Speak

FOURTH TESTIMONY

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving
“right now” she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, “If you don’t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy’s willy last night!”

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at McDonalds for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my burger, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said “No”.

I kept thinking “Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don’t have any clothes with me.” Then I said, “Danny, are you SURE you didn’t have an accident?” “No,” he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, “Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
“SEE MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!”

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their food laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they’d ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY

This had most of the state of Michigan America laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don’t get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, turned to the weatherman and asked: “So Bob, where’s that 8 inches you promised me last night?” Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Now, didn’t that feel good? Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh! Just click one of the social links.

Sexy Sals Pregnant Blonde Joke

Sexy Sals Pregnant Blonde joke

And to finish off this weeks Friday Funnies I give you my latest Laughaholics video. 

That’s it guys. I hope you’ve enjoyed this weeks Friday Funnies. Have a great weekend and I’ll see you here next week.

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Peter Pelliccia

Aussie blogger who loves to blog and share everything that he has learned on his blogging journey, including blogging tips and ways to blog for money.

This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. Honestly when I came here it was all about the link and guest commenting but when I finished reading your testimonies I was laughing so hard my eyes teared up. So thanks for that and keep up your great sense of humor :D

  2. Hi Sire, I agree speaking instantly can back fire at times. It does not feel bad as long as the mistake is taken as a human error. But if you say something hurtful to someone, though unintentionally, it leaves you feeling guilty. I have a first hand experience of such situations, I know how they make you feel.

  3. Hi Sire, you picked up the right topic. These instances happen with the best of us. Talking about myself, I always end up feeling if I could take my words back. However, the best I could do in these situations is to keep quiet and leave at the earliest, its the best way out.

  4. Good ones, very good ones. Thanks for the smile you just put on my face with these testimonials.

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