Once upon a time, in a land not so very far away, there was a magical garden tended by Sire. Sire’s expertise in the garden was such that people used to say his green thumb extended right to his shoulder. The garden belonged to the king of the land who, much to his misfortune, married Googleless, the wicked, but buxom, witch.
Like all wicked witches Googleless was vain and her particular vanity extended to her well endowed breasts, which she maintained firm and sag free with her wicked magic. Every night as she sat topless combing her long jet black hair, she would croon to her magic mirror;
Magic Mirror on the wall
Who has the best titties of the all?
And the magic mirror would reply;
Oh Googleles, Queen so fair
Your titties are the best, beyond compare.
To which the witch queen would cackle with delight.
Now, Sire, once a royal knight of old, never liked the king’s choice of a bride, but what could he do for he was a king after all and wanton to have his way. The queen didn’t much like Sire either, most likely because of his closeness to the king, and so she made things difficult for him. Sire however, put up with her crap as he figured that the 4 weeks holiday with the 17.5% loading was well worth the irritation. Besides, he much rather tend the magical garden that joust or fight fire breathing dragons.
One day it got so bad that Sire thought it was time for payback. Knowing of her boob fixation he used all his skills to shape one of the bushes in the garden into the most luscious, titillating breasts that he could ever have imagined.
That night as the wicked witch queen sat brushing her hair, her full breasts staring at her in the mirror;
Mirror Mirror on the wall
Who has the best titties of them all?
To which the mirror replied;
Oh Googleless, Queen so fair
There are better titties than your luscious pair.
Googleless stopped mid stroke, her jaw dropped and the blood drained from her face, but only for a moment, for before you could say Google Slap, her face went red with rage and she let out a tirade of abuse that scorched the gold flakes from the mirror’s frame.
Once she calmed down she compelled the mirror to reveal whose breasts could possible be better than her own. So it was that she learned of Sire’s magical bush. “A bush,” she screams. How can a bush be better than these tits of mine, which are real and silicon free. (Reckon she must have forgotten about the magic she’s been using the vain bitch)
It was then that the mirror showed her Sire’s marvelous creation, and when she saw that they were truly better than her own she had a heart attack and died.
Upon her death a dark veil was lifted from that not so far off land, yet none but Sire knew the part that the boob bush had to play. All that people knew of the bush was that it was truly beautiful and that anyone who rubbed the leafy nipple would find good fortune. No doubt a myth that was started by the mischievous Sire.
Well, I sure hope you liked that short story, but you know it wasn’t completely fictitious. The boob bush did actually exist in my garden and I did actually tell my neighbors that I rubbed it everyday for luck. They loved it and thought the bush was a scream. Not so much the wife though. She wasn’t too impressed about having a boob with a huge nipple in her front garden. After constant nagging I decided, for the sake of some peace and quiet, that I would change the shape of the bush until it looked like the photo below.
You don’t see the boob? Use your imagination guys to remove the wart on the nipple.
Hey, if you liked the story don’t forget to tweet it or to share it with your FaceBook mates by clicking the like button.
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Tagged with: fairy tale • knights • myth • valor
Filed under: Just For Fun • Short Stories
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Looks like a fat snowman to me :P
Twitter: AussieSire
You’re looking at it all wrong. Imagine a woman lying down and don’t forget you have to imaging that last knob isn’t there.
Sire recently posted…Creating Headlines That Have A Truly Emotional Impact On Your Readers
The knob below that last knob is sort of too big for my taste. Looks overly stimulated, or something. But then, that’s how you like them, don’t you Sire? :)
James Moralde recently posted…Kristin Cashore- Fire
Twitter: AussieSire
Heck, these days James I just take what I can get.
Sire recently posted…Testing Market Samurai’s Keyword Research Tool
I’m speechless. :blink_tb:
Anne Bender recently posted…Grown-Up Holidays & Toys for Tots- The Perfect Pair
Twitter: AussieSire
As all good women should be
Sire recently posted…Testing Market Samurai’s Keyword Research Tool
I’m…amused.
Although you’ve inadvertently brought back my disgust over the way Themestream was brought low, many years ago, by people writing articles about broccoli spears in such a way as to make readers THINK they’d be clicking a link about Brittany.
Icky any way you look at it. This was much more fun, though, Sire – and a tiny bit less exploitative for being, at least, an entertaining good tale.
Holly Jahangiri recently posted…A Marathoner- Not a Sprinter
Twitter: AussieSire
Holly, I’ve never heard of Themestream and other than the word spears I’m not sure what broccoli had to do with Brittany, but the main thing is that you enjoyed the post. Coming from you that means a lot.
Sire recently posted…Creating Headlines That Have A Truly Emotional Impact On Your Readers
It took WAY TOO LONG for me to get this one!
Kissie recently posted…Nonsensical
Twitter: AussieSire
Really? What part of it all kept you guessing Kissie? :huh_tb:
Sire recently posted…Don’t Mess With Mature Women
Ahhh, apparently it has something to do with zb block – but why is it blocking MY site? I guess it’s blocking traffic from your (suspicious) site (containing “ad word boob”) TO my site.
Oh, whatever. Prissy thing! I’d kind of forgotten all about it.
http://www.spambotsecurity.com/forum/
Holly Jahangiri recently posted…Harry Potter and the Dastardly Content Cadgers
Twitter: AussieSire
Not blocking your site Holly, it’s blocking anyone visiting from this post because it has a thing against boobs, the puritan.
Oh well, at least we got that sorted out.
Goodness Sire, aren’t you the one! lol I actually had to read it a couple of times before I fully got it all as well; that’s a shame. Of course, you have one line there that didn’t help: “that anyone who the leafy breast would find good fortune”.
Now let’s see if Google picks on your blog because of this one, though it might take them a year (weasels).
Mitch recently posted…Are You Planning For Your Success
Twitter: AussieSire
Oops, well in my defense when I wrote that post it was way past midnight. Never mind, I made a slight adjustment and I think it may make more sense now.
If they do decide to pick on it the they belong in the dark ages.
Yes, it makes a lot more sense now, and of course gets you in more trouble than before.
As for the dark ages comment… look what they did to me. 
Mitch recently posted…I’m Supposed To Ask You To…
Twitter: AussieSire
Hey, since when was nipple a dirty word? It so happens I have a thing for nipples and if that bothers Google they can take a running jump and hopefully land on a cactus bush.
Sire recently posted…Testing Market Samurai’s Keyword Research Tool
On my post all I said was “cleavage”; go figure.
Mitch recently posted…Bad Writing Kills Sci-Fi Shows
Twitter: AussieSire
Just goes to show that these guys have rocks in their heads. I’m currently testing another adsense type site that’s aimed at American and Canadian traffic. So far it looks pretty good. It’s called Chango and it seems to be affiliated with yahoo.
Yeah, that’s an affiliate link :tongue_rolleye_ee: Will do a post on it soon
Sire recently posted…Creating Headlines That Have A Truly Emotional Impact On Your Readers
You might have to change the spelling then, because the link says it’s Chango.
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Twitter: AussieSire
My mistake, I was thinking of using Tango in the heading of the post which I will be working on soon.
I do enjoy Sire’s fairy tales.
Holly Jahangiri recently posted…A Marathoner- Not a Sprinter
Whew, must have been thinking about where the h**l the “hot” stuff was going about. Took a while for me to get this too, must be my brains this morning, not functioning properly.BTW, Googleless is still on your CSE.
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Twitter: AussieSire
Gee, I just don’t understand why people aren’t getting this post. Maybe it’s just my Aussie humor.
Sire recently posted…Testing Market Samurai’s Keyword Research Tool
Great story telling skills you have there Sire.
By the way, nice double nipple bush :D (double the awesomeness )
Alex recently posted…Masini suv 3D
Twitter: AussieSire
Glad you liked it Alex
Sire recently posted…Creating Headlines That Have A Truly Emotional Impact On Your Readers
I feel out of my chair reading this my brother Sire. Greatwork with the bush. You should decrease the middle part a little so that it will really look like a booby! A friendly advise from a booby expert lol! Just kidding pal!
Jhong Medina recently posted…Pacquaio Vs Margarito Fight Date Experience
Twitter: AussieSire
Glad you liked it Jhong. Unfortunately my wife would have my balls if I made it look like a boob again.
Sire recently posted…Do You Want Increased Income Chango Could Be The Answer
Hilarious story Sire. I’m not surprised that your wife didn’t like your boob bush. With a nice looking boob bush like that, what woman wouldn’t be jealous?
Twitter: AussieSire
LOL. Yeah, and I sure miss giving it that rub for luck, now it’s only a distant memory. :)
Hi Sire:
I see only one. Where is the other one out of the pair? Looked differently, it also looks like a woman standing with huge puffy frocks ! By the way, are people still coming to rub the bush? You could charge them money for luck. Nice side income, eh!
Was interesting reading. Thank you.
Twitter: AussieSire
I only ever made one, two was always more than I could handle, and no, I was the only one that got to rub it
Great fairy tale.
Maybe you should do a whole garden in this theme, then you can charge people to see it.
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Twitter: AussieSire
Seeing as how it’s my front garden Danny I can’t see how anyone will pay for it when they can see it for free.