The Journey To Bloggersville

I woke up to the sounds of the bubbling creek singing in my ears. I looked over at Jandoram who was sleeping peacefully and decided to let him sleep a little longer while I prepared breakfast.

Fortunately there was lots of wood for a fire around our camping ground, and the presence of some wild apple trees made the gathering of some fruit quite easy. After starting the fire I took out some slithers of salted kangaroo meat a plopped them into the pan greased with pig fat. While that was sizzling noisily I deftly sliced some of the apples and threw them in with the roo meat, keeping the rest for later.

Just before breakfast was ready I started to whistle loudly, hoping that the tune “When the Saints Come Marching In” would wake Jandoram. To my reckoning, waking up to my lousy whistling was a whole lot better than being slapped around the face, something my dad was prone to do.

To my surprise he got up instantly, most likely hoping I would stop my infernal whistling. I stopped long enough to tell him to wash up at the creek, and then continued whistling aimlessly out of tune as he set off. I was just spooning my concoction into the plates as Jandoram sat down, all the while toweling his face dry. It was pleasant watching him shoving the food greedily into his face, and I thought to myself how nice it would be to have some company for a change.

After breakfast I showed him how to wash up and pack our bags so that they were evenly balanced which would make traveling that much easier. We then set of for Bloggersville, at town some 14 days away. We walked almost in silence as he was probably still brooding over what happened with the other day when I beat his stepfather senseless. I decided to get the ball rolling by kicking a lump of dried turd.

“Did you know that there are men, famous trackers, who could look at this bit of animal dung, and after examining it they would be able to tell you lots of information about the animal that left it. Things like the type of animal, how long it’s been sitting there and even the sort of food the animal ate. But in the end no matter what they are able to tell you about it, it’s still just a lump of shit.”

Jandoram walks silently by my side for awhile and then says, “Why are you telling me this Sire? Is it important in some way?”

“OK, let’s look at this in another way. There is many a man who does nothing more than boast of his great achievements; This could be the men he’s killed, the women he’s taken to bed or even the money he’s allegedly made. But when it all comes down to it, he’s usually just full of shit. The true hero does not need to shout his accomplishments for all to hear. He normally does not want his escapades to be known as it will draw unwanted attention to him.”

“But what has this to do with that lump of shit we left behind” says the exasperated young boy.

“Nothing much”, I replied, “just that one lump of shit is pretty much the same as the other. You know Jamdoram, not every story has to have a meaning, sometimes they’re good to just pass the time of day.” As I burst out laughing, thinking that after 600 odd years I would have stopped laughing at my own stupid jokes,  he threw me a puzzled look and then said, “Where are we going Sire?”

“Why, to Bloggersville of course.”

“Really? I didn’t think I would ever get to go to Bloggersville. What will we find there?”

“Ah yes, Bloggersville is filled with many wonders and delightful people.  Why, I remember hearing a story of a woman who resides there, I believe her name is Louise, who has in her possession the magical and much coveted Lottie Moon Cook Book, the recipes of which has brought some of the strongest of men to their knees as they begged to savor some of the delicacies it’s produced.  Then there is Holly who just happens to be the most ethical person in Bloggersville. Few will dare to cross her path while throwing ethics to the wind, as it has often been told that Holly can flay the skin off anyone who came within twenty feet of her limber tongue. Why there is not a word in existence that Holly can not put to good use when castigating those who get on her wrong side.

Then there is Heather the fumbling one who once put a magical potion in a cupboard that almost blew four homes into oblivion. Now let’s not forget Anne, formerly of Buttsville, who has devoted her life to finding a toilet seat that is warm to sit on. There are rumors that once she solves this problem she will devise one that lowers automatically once it has been raise.”

“But Sire, surely Bloggersville is not filled with women. Are there no men of valor there?”

“Surley Jandoram, but did no-one ever tell you that behind every great man there is a great woman? One should never discount the importance of a woman when it comes to shaping the world. But you ask of the men of Bloggersville. Let me see…..ah yes! There is the very hardy Jim,whom  many have said has traveled far and wide just to see how far in the known universe a blog will reach. Of course there is Zorlone who is well known for his wondrous cures as the city’s doctor, but I have heard that he would rather be a bard and poet, and that he frequents the bars telling far fetched stories of alien worlds where there exists the mystical Avatar.

But enough talking, lunch draws near and we need to catch some food.

Other posts in the Sire, The Wandering Bard series.


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Peter Pelliccia

I'm an Aussie blogger who loves to blog and share everything that I've learned on my blogging journey, including blogging tips and ways to blog for money. I am also trying to make my way on YouTube. You can follow my progress by subscribing to My Bonzer Channel.

This Post Has 34 Comments

  1. Wow! What a different type of post for you, at least since I’ve been reading Wassupblog. I find myself wondering if it’s purely fiction, or if some of it is real – did you really beat up his stepfather? Do you really like to kick poo? Do you really call your walking stick “Knick knack paddy whack, give the Sire a bone”?

    Thanks so much for the mention. LOL about your description of Holly & Anne o’ Buttsville. hee hee. :)
    .-= Heather Kephart´s last blog ..Zombie Attack Imminent! =-.

    1. I am a man of many talents, and not all related to blogging :innocent1_tb:

      So glad you liked the post.

  2. ::applause:: Tell us another!! Delightful post, Sire – and what wonderful use of title tags. ;) Together, we will bring the joy of discovery back to hypertext, and defeat the evil, subterranean empire that lurks in the sewers of Bloggersville!

    Can one have a “live carcass”? I thought that would be a contradiction in terms. Besides, it’s so much more fun to “flay the skin off” when the victim remains alive so I can watch them writhe. Good lord, man – what a vivid way to put it. But still, thanks for the mention. I think.

    Now, off to click those links since you made them so intriguing I can’t resist!
    .-= Holly Jahangiri´s last blog ..Merry Christmas! =-.

    1. Yeah I see your point, there’s not much chance of having a live carcass……no problem, all that is required is a minor editing, and now I have them getting flayed when they come withing twenty feet of Holly’s tongue, and that would take some doing :lol_tb:

      1. Holy Parseltongue, you’ve turned me into a she-snake! LMAO!!
        .-= Holly Jahangiri´s last blog ..Merry Christmas! =-.

        1. Yeah, ain’t it amazing what a few strokes of the keyboard can do? :smile2_ee:

    1. :lol_tb: Man, I totally forgot about that one :lol_tb:

  3. Me thinks he hasn’t finished his holiday cheer (booze) yet. ;)
    .-= Dennis Edell´s last blog ..EMERGENCY POST – MaxBlogPress Ping Optimizer plugin might be DEFECTIVE! =-.

    1. Must be the lingering effects of my home made wine Dennis.

  4. Wow Sire, I didn’t know you had such storytelling abilities! This blog never ceases to amaze me
    .-= Keith@NeedInformation´s last blog ..17 Must Have WordPress Plugins =-.

    1. Well, I don’t know if my story telling abilities are that good Kieth, but it’s nice of you to say so.

  5. Wow Awesome man! Cool story! and Thanks so much for the mention. You definately have an imagination! You should write a book.

    Hey just FYI I just got a trackback pingback or whatever you call those things from another site. It looks like it copied this post links and all.
    .-= Jim Hardin´s last blog ..Baked Stuffed Post =-.

    1. No worries Jim, I like linking to good posts and I also like doing it in different ways, this being one of them.

      Thanks for the heads up on someone stealing this post. It’s the same wanker that has been stealing the rest. I’ve just notified his host to see what they can do about it.

      1. Great post man!

        Dam people need to create their own stuff.
        .-= Jim Hardin´s last blog ..Baked Stuffed Post =-.

  6. This is so so so funny and creative, Sire!!

    Wonderful talent you have. But I guess you already know that?? I hope you do!!

    Ummn, is the part about eating kangaroo real? Like our rattlesnake and alligator over here? I was feeling hungry a while ago, but now am not so sure.

    :)
    .-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..I AM, Said I =-.

    1. Actually kangaroo meat pretty tasty and is really good for you as well as it’s low on cholesterol. Kangaroos are also good in that they don’t emit methane when they fart.

      I’ve never thought of myself as being talented Jannie, but it’s nice of you to say so.

      1. Great post man!

        Dam people need to create their own stuff.

        Kangroo meat? Is that the other white meat? Do you have McKangaroo other there…. :)
        .-= Jim Hardin´s last blog ..Baked Stuffed Post =-.

        1. Nope, no McKangaroo yet, but give it time mate. :laugh_tb:

      2. Any low methane meat is a double-treat in my books.

        And I know you’ve got more than your share of roos there, saw a documantary recently about just how prolific they are. Or do you only eat farm-raised roos?

        And yes, this post shows your writing talent well.
        .-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..I AM, Said I =-.

        1. Not sure we have farm raised roos Jannie, and thanks again for your kind words.

  7. Hi Sire,

    Nice story telling about the way to Bloggersville. The style was so different that I thought it must be a guest post at first.

    As I read on I realized it was really you narrating. I wonder how Bloggersville is going to develop in the future.

    Right now it seems like a fine town with great inhabitants.

    Vance
    .-= Vance@Get Blog Traffic´s last blog ..Get Blog Traffic Increase With Blog Comments =-.

    1. Vance, I like to include a variety of styles in my blogging, ranging from the serious instructional post to posts that are meant solely to entertain. Sometimes even those posts may have something of value thrown in for the discerning reader to pick up on.

      Thanks for your comment.

  8. What a delightful fun post. I look forward to your next journey through Blogsville. I’ll have to check out anne’s post now.
    .-= Rose´s last blog ..Odd Bathroom Gadgets- Gadget Obsessed =-.

    1. Thanks Rose. This post is actually a continuation of others in the storyline. You may be interested in those as well. Links are at the end of the post.

  9. What an excellent story, Sire! You saved the best parts for last. I can’t stop smiling from the scenes that were painted about Bloggersville and the ladies that were mentioned.

    You are a wicked story teller mate!

    Cheers to that.

    Z

    1. Thanks Zorlone. For me blogging has to be fun, but I also want to make sure that my readers have a good time while visiting, so I try to mix in entertaining posts along with the educational ones.

  10. Beautiful! My imagination’s running! I just learned that you normally don’t write such stories here in this post. Like you it helps to write such creative stories like this every once in a while, as long as it is still within the topic of your blog.
    .-= Gem´s last blog ..Mid-afternoon Snack with the LunchBreakBlogger =-.

    1. Actually the reason I chose this blog is because I can write about almost anything and still be on topic.

  11. Great story! When I first read the title I thought it was going to be about how you got started blogging. LOL

    1. Fooled ya! :lol_tb:

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