No one will argue the point that there is a wide gulf between how a man and a woman thinks. I doubt that there is a man alive you can truly say that he understands how a woman thinks. I also believe, though I have no proof, that every time a bunch of women get up to go to the toilet or any other time that you find a group of women together, that they are having a go at how insensitive or ignorant we are to their feelings.

There are probably a lot of jokes around having a go at either the male or female sex, and depending on who started the opposite sex is always on the receiving end. I got this one in an email recently and I reckon a bloke thought it up, and being a bloke I found it really funny.

NICKNAMES

  • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and  Sarah.
  • If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

  • When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
  • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

  • A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
  • A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she  doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS

  • A man has six items in his bathroom:  toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a  towel .
  • The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

  • A woman has the last word in  any argument.
  • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

  • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
  • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

  • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  • A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

  • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
  • A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

  • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a  book, and get the mail.
  • A man will dress up for weddings and  funerals.
  • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
  • Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

  • Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about  dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
  • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE  DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes.  There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Well, I hope that made your day, cos it did mine.

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Filed under: Just For Fun

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