The Differences Between Male And Female

No one will argue the point that there is a wide gulf between how a man and a woman thinks. I doubt that there is a man alive you can truly say that he understands how a woman thinks. I also believe, though I have no proof, that every time a bunch of women get up to go to the toilet or any other time that you find a group of women together, that they are having a go at how insensitive or ignorant we are to their feelings.

There are probably a lot of jokes around having a go at either the male or female sex, and depending on who started the opposite sex is always on the receiving end. I got this one in an email recently and I reckon a bloke thought it up, and being a bloke I found it really funny.

NICKNAMES

  • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and  Sarah.
  • If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

  • When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
  • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

  • A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
  • A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she  doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS

  • A man has six items in his bathroom:  toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a  towel .
  • The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

  • A woman has the last word in  any argument.
  • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

  • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
  • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

  • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  • A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

  • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
  • A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

  • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a  book, and get the mail.
  • A man will dress up for weddings and  funerals.
  • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
  • Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

  • Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about  dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
  • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE  DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes.  There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Well, I hope that made your day, cos it did mine.

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Peter Pelliccia

I'm an Aussie blogger who loves to blog and share everything that I've learned on my blogging journey, including blogging tips and ways to blog for money. I am also trying to make my way on YouTube. You can follow my progress by subscribing to My Bonzer Channel.

This Post Has 39 Comments


  1. Twitter:
    I like these, but the bathroom one is a killer!

    By the way, did you change the font sizes on purpose? The funny stuff is way bigger than everything else.

    Mitch´s Last blog post..I’ll Write Articles For You; For A Price

  2. I could say that I heard that your eyesight wasn’t all the best and so I did it just for your convenience but that would be a lie. Truth be told it’s just the way it turned out after I copy and pasted it from the email.

    You know though Mitch, there is a modicum of truth in a lot of these, wouldn’t you say?


    1. Twitter:
      Some of those I would have to say are close to accurate; that’s the best you’re getting out of me. That bathroom one, though, is spot on!

      Meanwhile, I just finished watching one of your videos of where the term “Amazon” came from. It was an interesting video for more than one reason. lol

      1. Oh come on now Mitch. You can’t leave me hanging like that, you are going to have to tell me what you learned from that video.


        1. Twitter:
          You mean to tell me you’re not watching your own videos? lol Basically, Amazon is the combination of two words, the first literally meaning “warrior”, which most people know, but the second actually means “breast”, which is how it translated to women. And the video had a lot of nice, uhhh, imagery. :devil_tb:

          Mitch´s Last blog post..Ten Websites I Find Interesting And Fun

          1. I don’t watch all the videos, but I would have if I’d know it contained a lot of nice ‘imagery’. :devil_tb:

  3. Haha, I love the marriage stuff. Funny but all of it are true (as far as I know)

    Ron´s Last blog post..Tnomeralc Web Design Toys

    1. I’m glad you liked it Ron, it made posting it worthwhile.

      1. It made me smile while I am having a real hard day today.

        Cheers!

        Ron´s Last blog post..Tnomeralc Web Design Toys

  4. The one about marriage and the items in the bathroom – oh so true. And the shopping part too! I get suckered into buying things on sale because I think I might need them someday, might as well get them cheap.

    ~ Kristi

    Kikolani´s Last blog post..Fetching Friday – Resources Mashup, PageRank Updates

    1. Hey Kristi, in regards to the shopping part, there is nothing wrong with buying things on special as long as its things that you use. When I find necessities like toilet tolls and stuff on special I’ll buy them in bulk, especially the way my family goes through them.

  5. Great ones, Sire, as usual! I must borrow them?

    1. Sure, I don’t own it but it would be nice to let people know where you found it.

  6. I’m not sure if I get less space in the closets or bathroom cabinets. I must admit it has done wonders for my zen outlook.

    Gennaro´s Last blog post..Lao Fishermen On The Mekong

    1. I know I have less space for almost everything including my office which is harboring a whole lot of stuff the wife doesn’t want in the rest of the house.

    1. Only 10, still have 10 years to catch up to me mate, hang on a second, that’s right, you’ll always be 10 years behind :jittery_tb:

    1. Cool, a good laugh certainly brightens up your day stratos, and no matter what part of the world you are from, we’re all just ‘blokes’.

      1. That’s what brotherhood is all about – blokishness

  7. Sire you are in big trouble – my girlfriends and I are rounding up a posse as we speak and are preparing to flame your blog…

    yours
    Kiwi-ettes

    Kiwiette´s Last blog post..Kiwifruit Eating World Smashed by Kiwi (Video)

    1. Good one Greg, when did you decide to start wearing a skirt? :laugh_tb:

  8. Great post for men and women differences! These are most facts and we can’t hardly deny it!

    1. It’s all in good fun John. I’m glad you liked it.

  9. Haha this is great, thanks so much for posting it. I love the one about paying the 32 dollar bill, and everybody just paying a 20. I do that everytime lol, these are wayyy too true.

    Jonathan Muller´s Last blog post..House Keeping Issues

    1. Glad you liked it Johnathan, and thanks for commenting. You make sure you come back now, won’t you. :cheese1_ee:

      1. Lol I will try my best Sire, I will certainly try my best.

        Jonathan Muller´s Last blog post..House Keeping Issues

  10. There IS some truth in all of these (although I know a few men who are really into their kids). The most important one is under the heading Marriage – that is absolutely true and the cause of much unhappiness.

    I’ve known men who were insisting their wives were not allowed to change and most women do think they can turn a man into the perfect husband. They’re all wrong.

    There are a few of us who don’t fall for needing 337 items in the bathroom, don’t head to the bathroom in packs, don’t wear makeup or spend hours trying to change what we look like.

    Making yourself look different in those ways does not necessary mean you look better and it certainly means you’ll be less healthy. I don’t remember what decade I last put on makeup for a wedding.

    InternetStrategist´s Last blog post..Do YOUR Blogging Goals Include Monetization: Benefits Our Readers Receive

    1. Hey IG, it’s great to have your input. Naturally the post was all tongue in cheek but depending on the individual I reckon that a lot of people will find some truth in it, and some of those won’t be willing to admit it. :tongue_laugh_ee:

  11. Man, what did they ever do without mobile phones? :doh_tb: :laugh_tb: Thanks for that Lena

  12. Absolutely true :-) I work part-time in a restaurant and the post is absolutely right – the women do bring out their phones to calculate how much they each owe for the meal.

  13. A man never worries about his future until he gets married .. hahahaha True that

  14. Mate!

    As I was reading this I started thinking: OMG, Sire’s been watching my life! And the further I read, the more convinced I became that you must be spying on me somehow. So ‘fess up! where’s the cameras and mics?

    Loved it! Wiser and more truthful words have never been spoken.

    1. :lol_tb: So glad you liked it Steve. As you can see it’s an old post, but I thought it was good enough for another little tweet. :innocent1_tb:

      Oh, and thanks for tweeting it again.
      Sire recently posted…Learning How To Use Market SamuraiMy Profile

      1. Oh, I didn’t know this was an old post. Didn’t even look at the date of it.

        I always knew that truth was timeless. :-)

        1. One of the wonders of Twitter mate is that you can virtually resurrect an old post without having to change the date, especially when you have mates such as yourself who help it along with another tweet.

  15. I couldn’t stop laughing at the jokes. :) Thank you for sharing them, it absolutely made my day!

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