Irish Sausage Friday Funnies #289

I got this email today that stemmed around an Irish sausage that I found to be absolutely hilarious! Now you may wonder what is so funny about an Irish sausage? Well it’s not the Irish sausage as much as the consequences that occurred around finding where they keep the Irish sausages? Here is the email in its entirety.

Irish Sausage & Racism

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream ‘racism’ these days. A customer asked, “In what aisle could I find the Irish sausages?”

The assistant asks, “Are you Irish?”

The guy, clearly offended, says, “Yes I am, but let me ask you something, If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?”

The assistant says, “No, I probably wouldn’t.”

The guy says, “Well then, just because I asked for Irish sausage, why did you ask me if I’m Irish?”

The assistant replied, “Because you’re in Bunnings.”

Yeah, some people are just way to sensitive. :wink:

Of course I know you guys expect more than just one funny joke for Friday Funnies which is why I used the Creator to put the following joke together for you.

Irish Sausage JokeI’m sure that for most of you these jokes are more than enough for a Friday Funnies post. Even so, there may be some of you who want more. For those of you who are new to Friday funnies you should check out the Friday Funnies category. If you like sports related jokes then check out my really funny sports jokes.

 

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2017

Fireman Sex Joke Friday Funnies #275

Today’s Friday Funnies begins with an email I got today entitled Fireman Sex. I’ve written the Fireman Sex joke as close as possible complete with images because I thought the fireman sex images made the joke.

If you’re wondering why I’m using the words ‘fireman sex so often it’s all to do with SEO. The images also have a ‘fireman sex tag and to top it all off I need to include it in th
Fireman sex joke

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, “You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we’re on the fire truck ready to go.

Fireman sex truck

“From now on when I say BELL 1

I want you to strip naked.

When I say BELL 2

I want you to jump in bed.

And when I say BELL 3

We are going to make love all night.
“The next night he came home from work and yelled

” BELL 1!” The wife promptly took all her clothes off.

naked woman

When he yelled “BELL 2!”, the wife jumped into bed.

When he yelled ” BELL 3!”, they began making love.

After a few minutes the wife yelled “BELL 4!”

“What the hell is BELL 4?” asked the husband?

naked fireman

“ROLL OUT MORE HOSE,” she replied “YOU’RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE.”
lauging mouse

To all you teetotalers out there did you know that drinking tea is more dangerous than drinking beer? This guy has proof! Here is what he has to say.

I got this other email that was full of saying that are found on signs all over the world. I don’t know how accurate they are but some of them are pretty funny. Here’s a sign that was found inside a Bangkok dry cleaner.

This of course is the perfect lead up to the following really funny video about a couple taking their clothes off in a laundromat.


That’s it for this weeks Friday Funnies #272. That’s a hell of a lot of Friday Funnies :wink_ee:

If you’re new to Friday Funnies why not tickle your funny bone with more Friday Funnies. Other than that check out these hilarious sports jokes.

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2017

Funny Surgeon Jokes Friday Funnies #221

For this weeks Friday Funnies I thought I would dedicate to a couple of really funny surgeon jokes.

Funny Surgeon Jokes About Toronto Surgeons

Three Toronto surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.

funny surgeon jokesOne of them said, “I’m the best surgeon in Ontario. In my favourite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident. I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.

The second surgeon said. “That’s nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident. I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold Medal in track and field events in the Olympics.

The third surgeon said, “You guys are amateurs”. Several years ago a man was high on cocaine and marijuana and he rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the man’s blonde hair and the Horse’s ass. I was able to put them together and now he’s running for President of the U.S.A!”

What makes this really funny is that you can totally relate it to the not so funny up and coming American election campaign for president.

Next we have a group of five surgeons discussion which profession is the best to operate on.

The five surgeons are discussing who are the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon said, “I like operating on accountants because when you open them up, everything inside them are numbered.”

The second responded, “Nah, you should try electricians! When I open them up I find that everything inside them is colour coded.”

The third surgeon said, “I reckon librarians are the best because everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”

The fourth surgeon chimed in, “Personally, I like construction workers because they always understand when you have a few parts left over in the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.”

It was the fifth surgeon shut them all up with this observation, “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s no guts, no heart, no spine and the head and butt are interchangeable.”

I reckon the fifth surgeon got it right and I just had to include this in my Funny Surgeon Jokes.

Finally, a Funny Surgeon Jokes image.

really funny surgeon jokes

That’s it for this weeks Friday Funnies! Of course you know you can always get more laughs from my really funny sports jokes.

Digiprove sealCopyright secured by Digiprove © 2016