Irish Blonde Joke Friday Funnies #203

Yep, it’s Friday Funnies time again and I’m about to thrill you with an Irish Blonde joke. We all know that people love to laugh at the Irish. We also know they love laughing at blonde jokes, so when I found an Irish blonde joke I knew it would be a hit.

Irish Blonde Joke At The Casino

An attractive blonde from Dublin arrives at the casino and bets twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.’

With that, she strips from the neck down, rolls the dice and yells, ‘Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!’

As the dice came to a stop, she jumps up and down and squeals ‘YES, YES, I WON, I WON!’

She hugs each of the dealers and then picks up her winnings, her clothes and quickly leaves the Casino. The dealers are left staring at each other, completely dumb founded.

Finally, one of them asks, ‘What the hell did she roll?’ The other answers, ‘Stuffed if I know, I thought you were watching.’

Of course there is a moral to this story. Not all Irish are stupid and not all blondes are dumb. But men are men and it just takes a couple of bouncing tits to distract the hell out of them.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

Come on you gals, I know you liked this joke, so why not share it with your friends and make their day.  :smoke_tb:

OK, put your thinking cap for this next blonde Joke.

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

‘How did this happen?’ asks the emergency room doctor.

‘Well, I was trying to commit suicide,’ the blonde replied.

‘What?’ sputtered the doctor. ‘You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?’

‘No, silly’ the blonde said. ‘First I put the gun to my chest, &  then I thought, ‘I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants! No way I’m not shooting myself in the chest.’

‘What then?’ asked the doctor.

‘As I put the gun in my mouth I thought, ‘It cost me $3,000 to get my teeth straightened so I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.’

‘So the you shot yourself in the finger?’

‘Nope, I had just put the gun to my ear, when I thought, ‘Man, this is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.

OK, think about it for a minute and I’m sure you’ll get the funny side of that blonde joke. :wink_ee:

Finally, I’ve managed to get Sexy Sal to contribute one of her Sexy Sal’s blonde jokes.

Sexy Sals Irish blonde joke

Don’t forget to check out my sports jokes if you’re looking for more laughs.

So, which was your favouriteIrish Blonde joke

 

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Vicar Sexy Sal Blonde Joke Friday Funnies #120

 This weeks Friday Funnies is all about a small town who just love their Vicar and can’t stand the thought that they may lose him to a bigger congregation. The following joke just goes to show how much they love the guy.

At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation.

No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

How Do We Keep The Vicar

Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Glasgow, stands up and proclaims, ‘If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Mercedes every year and his wife with a Volkswagen mini-van to transport their children!’ vicar joke

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, if the Vicar will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education for all of his children!’

More sighs and loud applause. 

Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, ‘If the Vicar stays, I will give him free sex.’

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her, ‘Mrs Jones, you’re a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?’

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Friday Funnies #80 Elderly Sex Hopeful

Yep, it’s Friday which of course means it time for this weeks Friday Funnies. As usual I need you guys to jump through a little teeny weenie hoop in order to get your comment approved. All you need to do is to hop on over to my latest YouTube video, leave a comment there and Like it for me. You do that by clicking the thumbs up Icon. I need the comment in so I can see you actually liked the video.

Usually I delete or spam any commenter who did not follow instructions as by neglecting to do so shows they didn’t read the post and therefore do not deserve a link to their site. For this post I’ve decided to simply remove then link to their site so everyone can see the people who are simply not reading my post. After all, if they’re not reading my post they’re probably not reading your either. OK, enough of that, it’s joke time. The first one is about a old bloke who still has sex on his mind.

Elderly Man Still Wants Sex

An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.  Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.  They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. 

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. 

‘How do you feel about sex?’ he asked, rather tentatively.

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