Sex The Church And Virgins Friday Funny #119

A young couple wanted to join the church, the priest told them, 'We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must Abstain from sex for one whole month.' The couple agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church. When the priest ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed. 'You are back so soon...Is there a problem?' the priest inquired. 'We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month.' The young man replied sadly The priest asked him what happened. 'Well, the first week was difficult... However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, Prayer, reading from the Bible....anything to keep our minds off Carnal Thoughts. One afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it.When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat,' admitted the man, shamefacedly. The priest lowered his head and said sternly, 'You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church.' 'We know.' said the young man, hanging his head, 'We're not welcome at Bunnings, either.' Scary…

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Taking Off Your Clothes For The Greater Good

SEX! It doesn't matter where you are, it doesn't matter what your doing, sex is lurking somewhere waiting to pounce. There's sex on TV! There's sex on the Internet. There's sex in magazines, there's even sexting of which some say it should be illegal and some are just amazed it exists. There's sex in advertising, because everyone knows that sex sells. There's raunchy hot steaming sex and there's the quicky in the back seat of a car sex. People are either doing it, talking about it, wishing they were getting more or watching as it's happening all around them. Heck, I reckon if you looked hard enough you'd even find it under the kitchen sink. Image via Wikipedia There is so much sex that it's starting to create problems around the globe, especially because our kids are being exposed at such a young age. A lot of people blame the parents but honestly I reckon they've got their hands tied because there's no much they can do unless the lock their kids under the basement. If you want to blame someone then you just have to point your finger straight at society and all the do-gooders who are society's stumbling block because they won't let you do anything in case it may hurt someones sensibilities or rights. Well, I've had enough and I've thought of a way where we can put all this nonsense behind us, but I need your help, every single one of you, because the only way this will…

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My Passionate Encounter. It’s Not All About Sex

Some people ask me why I persist with writing poetry on my blog, especially as they don't elicit a whole lot of comments. I tell them its because I like using poems as a form of expression and that I love to share them with people. Even if one person happens to like what I wrote then I think it was worth the effort. I wrote this after a personal experience I had in what seems to be eons ago. Some of you may not agree with my experience, unless that is you are a hot blooded Aussie male, who more than likely experienced exactly the same thing I did. And so, without further ado, My Passionate Encounter! I got her home late one night Picked her up at a bar, without a fight I have wanted her, for so long I could not wait for the last song. Up the stairs we went, the door I locked I held her close, I was so hot. With a struggle I removed her top I gazed upon her form, I could not stop In desperation I tore off her wrap You could almost hear the dripping tap Perspiration covered her naked form The beads of sweat visible now the wrap was torn My feverish mouth claimed her own The sensation so great my mind was blown It was not long before she was spent In frustration against the wall she went Though short, for it did not last long I knew I did…

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