Senior Humour Friday Funnies #345

Todays Friday Funnies is about senior humour. I've written a lot of seniors jokes, and they always go down well. One of my favourite bit of senior humour would have to be Senior Jokes Friday Funnies #128. Todays senior humour take place in a courtroom after a senior was caught stealing a can of peaches. Senior Humour The Shoplifter A cranky old woman in her so-called "senior years" was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store.  This old duck gave everyone a hard time, including the store manager, the security guard and the arresting officer who took her away.  She didn't stop complaining, the whole she was in custody and criticized everything and everyone throughout the process. When she finally appeared before the judge, the judge asked her what she had stolen from the store. The senior citizen defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches, you old fool." The judge then asked why she had done it. "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store," she huffed. The judge asked how many peaches were in the can. She replied in a nasty tone, "Nine! But why do you care about that?" The judge answered patiently, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach." As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's long-suffering husband raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak. The judge said, "Yes sir, what do you have to add?"…

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Seniors Make You Laugh Friday Funnies #198

Before I get to our Friday Funnies, did you know that eBay has some great deals on joke books and stuff? Lets face it jokes about seniors make you laugh. I'm sure most times when seniors make you laugh that it's not entirely what they intended. It's just that they do stuff for whatever reason and some folks out there find it incredibly funny. I've done a lot of Senior Citizens Jokes including  Friday Funnies #162 and Friday Funnies #45 Senior Citizens & Sexy Pranks and they've always gone down really well. Which is why I'm adding another Seniors Make You Laugh jokes to the collection. Seniors Make You Laugh Stuff They Go Through The other day I went over to our nearby Pharmacy. When I got there, I went straight to the back of the store to where the Pharmacists’ Counter is located and took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter. The pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me. I said, "Yes! Could you please taste this for me?" Being I'm a senior citizen … I guess the Pharmacist just went along with me and picked up the spoon and put a tiny bit of the liquid on his tongue and swilled it around. Then with a stomach-churning look on his face he spit it out on the floor and began coughing. When he finally was finished, I looked him right in the eye and asked, “Now, does that taste…

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Friday Funnies #45 Senior Citizens & Sexy Pranks

Well, I reckon this is going to be the last Friday Funnies for the year so I really hope you enjoy it. Don’t worry, I’m going to continue the Friday Funnies in 2013. How could I not seeing as how they’ve turned out to be so popular. You know, I think that, seeing how it’s the last one for the year and all, I’m going to give you a treat by posting two jokes instead of one.  :drunk_tb:

The first one is to do with the actions of a senior citizen, and like the other jokes about the elderly that I’ve written about on this blog I’m sure you’re going to like this one.

The Senior Citizen & The BMW Z4

A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z4 convertible out of the car showroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 120mph enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

2003 BMW Z4 Photographed in Greenwich, CT.

“Amazing!” he thought as he flew down the M4, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

“I can get away from him – no problem!” thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 140mph, then 150 then 160. Suddenly, he thought, “What on earth am I doing? I’m too old for this nonsense!” So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.
Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up the driver’s side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I’m taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.” (more…)

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