Wife Jokes

This is my first wife jokes posts, and the reason for posting is to help promote my latest Laughaholics video, which is all about funny wife humour. Please, if you haven’t already seen it please take the time to watch my video as I’m sure you will get a kick out of it. While there, why not subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Wife Jokes Man Meets Wife In Heaven

Three men are outside Heaven’s gates waiting to be interviewed by St Peter before going through to Heaven. St Peter tells them “Your way across the bridge to Heaven all depends on the length of time and your faithfulness, to your last partner”.

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Duncan And Norm’s Big Day Out


This post is for all my Yankee mates that usually catch me out when they use an expression that only a fellow American would understand.  While we Aussies don’t tend to use this much slang in a normal conversation I think it’s a real shame because we are losing a great part of our heritage. So, without further ado I present to you, Duncan and Norm, a couple of true blue Aussies.

This is a yarn about two mates who lived back of Bourke. Though one of them was a Banana Bender, Duncan, and the other an Apple eater, Norm, they were both real ocker sorts, and their relationship was simply ace. They never got aggro with each other and loved a bit of the ol’ Amber fluid.

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A Woman’s Mind At Work

Welcome to this weeks Friday’s Funnies readers but before I tickle your funny bone I want to thank all my kind readers for emailing their jokes and explain to them why I haven’t included them as part of the Friday Funnies series. Simply put, I didn’t find them funny enough.   :ponder: If they don’t make me laugh then it’s not good enough for my readers. Keep sending them though because the moment I use one of your jokes I will link to your site within that post.

When I first started the series I thought it would be a simple copy and paste procedure with a little added blurb by yours truly for SEO purposes as well as a way of introducing the posts. Man, if only it was that easy. It takes time to go through them all deleting the ones that aren’t funny and putting the others in the ‘possibly’ funny pile. Not to mention the extra joke I send to all my subscribers.  Still, even though it does take a lot of work its all worth it because I love all the feedback I get from you guys.

OK, enough banter, lets get on with the joke telling.

A Woman’s Mind At Work

A man wakes up at the Austin Hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the Hume Highway.

You’re going to be ok, you’ll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn’t find it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis.

They work great but they don’t come cheap. It’s roughly $1000 an inch.”

The man perks up. “So,” the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want.

But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife.

If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.”

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?”

“Yes I have,” says the man.

“And has she helped you make a decision?”

“Yes” says the man.

“What is your decision?” asks the doctor.

“We’re getting granite benchtops.”

You can hear me telling this joke on YouTube.

Yeah, you just have to love how the woman’s mind work don’t you  

You May Find The Following Of Interest

You should check out my YouTube Channel which has my joke Funny British Postcards. As you know I’m always looking for new subscribers so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip.

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts, not to mention my Heaps Of Jokes.

Jokes aside I reckon you’ll like my latest video Luminar 4 Review which show just how easy it is to replace a dull sky for a truly dramatic one in your photos.

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