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Funny Dating Episodes Friday Funnies #317

Dating can be stressful, but sometimes it can also be quite amusing. Todays Friday Funnies is about a couple of funny dating episodes. The first of the funny dating episodes started off well but the upcoming second date was ruined, and it was all Googles fault.

Funny Dating Episodes Googles Fault

A man takes a lady out to dinner for the first time. Later they go on to a show. The evening is a huge success, and as he drops her at her door, he says ‘I have had a lovely time. You looked so beautiful, you remind me of a beautiful climbing rose. May I call on you tomorrow?’

She agrees, and a date is made.

The next night he knocks on her door and when she opens it she slaps him hard across the face. He is stunned. ‘What was that for?’ he asked.

She said… I looked up “beautiful climbing rose” on Google last night and it said…..”Best suited for rooting against a brick wall or fence, no good in an open bed.”

Yep. It’s time like these that Google sucks!  :cool:

funny dating episodes

Funny Dating Episodes #2 Meeting In The Park

A man and a woman have a chance meet in a park and decide to meet up that night for a meal.
Going so well after the meal they go for a drive in his car to a romantic cliff top.

There’s not a cloud in the night sky. All the stars are shining brightly, and they both jump in the back seat.

While having fun, the woman stops and says “I’m really sorry about this and should have told you earlier, but I do this for a living and if you want to go all the way it will cost you £50”.

“WHAT!, you’re telling me this now when I’m all up for it knowing that of course, I’ll pay you.”

The man pays and to be fair had a fantastic time.

Afterwards, they both get in the front seats and just sit there, hearing only some crickets in the background the woman said, “shall we get a move on then?”

The man said, “I’m really sorry I should have told you earlier, I’m actually a cabbie it’s going to cost you £55 to get home”.

I have a funny feeling That I may have posted the last of the funny dating episodes before, but who cares. It’s so funny I don’t think anybody will mind if it’s resurrected.

Get more laughs by checking out my the rest of my Friday Funnies. Better still, why not check out my Hilarious Laughaholics videos.

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Crazy Jokes Friday Funnies #316

Yep, it’s Friday Funnies time, and that means its time for some more crazy jokes. Todays first crazy joke is about this guy who miraculously gets offered this brilliant job as a chauffeur.

Crazy Jokes: The Chauffeur

A young scouser with his pants hanging half off his ass, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched up to the counter and said, “Hi. You know, I just hate drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job. I don’t like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing.”

The social worker behind the counter said “Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You will have to drive her around in his 2017 Mercedes-Benz SEL, and he will supply your clothes.”

“Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas travels. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her
mid-20’s and has a rather strong sex drive.”

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, “You’re bullshittin’ me!”

The social worker said, “Yeah, well… you started it.”

Crazy Jokes WD40 Ad

This isn’t really a joke as such. It’s actually an original WD40 ad which was released in 1964. It’s pretty funny, so I’ve included it as part of my hilarious jokes. Read the rest of this entry

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Funny Images And Videos Friday Funnies #252

Funny Images That Make You Laugh

For today’s Friday Funnies I thought I would post some funny images and videos. Some of the funny images were put together with the aid of The Creator.

The first of the funny images is one of Myla the Mini Dachshund, my daughter and her partners little baby.

Funny Dachshund funny image

The photo was taken yesterday during the Australia Day celebrations. Luckily for Myla they hadn’t actually fired up the barbie yet. Myla is the funniest pup out there. If you love dachshunds you should visit Myla’s Instagram page by clicking the link above.

The next of my funny images is a little late as far as Christmas is concerned but I love it because it has a go at our politicians and has a lot of truth to it. :tongue_laugh_ee:

Funny Images

I had a funny thing happen to me today. I was sitting on a bench next to a homeless man, I asked him how he ended up this way.

He said:   “Up until this last week, I still had it all !!! A cook cooked my meals, my room was cleaned, my clothes were washed, pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV, Internet, I went to the gym, the pool, the library, I could still go to school. . … ”

I asked him,   “What happened?  Drugs?   Alcohol?   Divorce?”

“Oh No, nothing like that” he said, “No, no … I just got out of prison !”

Funny Videos

Now for the first of my funny videos.

That video is funny because women are supposed to be so bloody good at multi-tasking. :hey_you:

I love the next video, partly because it has a really hot sheila in it but mainly because its so bloody funny. It’s actually a commercial.

Finally, the last of the funny images.

I hope you enjoyed these funny images enough to share them with your friends.

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Friday Funnies #53 The Smart School Kid & More

Anyone reading last weeks Friday Funnies and noticing the low amount of comments would assume that it wasn’t all that popular when in reality it was extremely popular. The reason for the low comment count was because I had to delete the majority of the comments as people did not follow the one rule set at the end of the post. All they had to do to get their comment accepted was to like my Facebook fan page. This is extremely easy to do, just follow the bouncing link, which is only possible with the SoreThumb plugin, to my page and click the Like button. Or you could click on the Gift Giving Jokes tab to view some really funny gift giving jokes, which will only be revealed if you have liked the page  :devil_tb: Once you’ve done that feel free to leave a comment.

Now, it’s time for this weeks Friday Funnies which I know you’re going to really enjoy.

What Starts with F and ends with K

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, ‘Harry, what’s your problem?’

Harry answered, ‘I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!’

Ms.. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

‘What is 3 x 3?’


‘What is 6 x 6?’


And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, ‘I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade’

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, ‘Let me ask him some questions..’

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms… Brooks asks, ‘What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?’

Harry, after a moment: ‘Legs.’

Ms Brooks: ‘What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?’

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: ‘Pockets.’ Read the rest of this entry

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