Funny James Bond Joke

It’s been so long since the last Friday’s Funny joke that I knew I had to make this a good one which is why I’m posting this Funny James Bond joke. In case you’re not in the mood to read this funny James bond joke you can listen to my James Bond Best Pickup Line.

Funny James Bond Joke To Make You LOL

A confident James Bond walks into a bar and sits next to a beautiful woman.
He glances at her, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

funny James Bonde joke

The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”

Bond explains, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”

The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?”

“Well, it says you’re not wearing any knickers.”

The woman giggles and replies, “Well, I don’t think the watch is working properly because I am wearing knickers!”

Bond smirks while tapping his watch and says, “Bloody thing’s an hour fast.”

Funny James blonde Joke

Other Topics To Keep You Entertained

My FitBit Pay not working on my Ionic has proved to be a popular post.

And now, for my customary self-promotion of my growing YouTube Channel. As you know, I’m always looking for new subscribers, so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel. My most popular video, with over 20k views, is the funny golf video. Wouldn’t it be great if the farmer’s daughter and his wife became as popular?

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image, you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip. I’ve also found LuminarA1 to be a fantastic photo editor.

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Funny Wisdom Jokes

I thought for today’s Friday Funnies posts, I write a couple of funny wisdom jokes. The first of the funny wisdom jokes take place in a pub.

Funny Wisdom Jokes
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Wisdom Jokes – Oversexed Girlfriend

These two young guys are sitting in a pub having a beer. One of the guys turns to the other and says, “Shit mate, you’re looking really tired these days!”

His mate replies, “Man, I am bloody exhausted. My new girlfriend wants sex all the time. It could be three, four and sometimes even six times a night. She wakes me up at all hours of the night to have sex. I’m not sure how long I can keep this up. I wish I knew what to do.”

An old bloke, probably in his seventies, is sitting a few stools down from them and overhears their conversation. He takes a sip of his beer, looks over at the two mates who are having the conversation and, showing the wisdom of all his years, says, “Marry her! That will put a stop to all that nonsense!”

A Wise Mother Superior

A 98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland, was on her death bed. All the nuns had gathered around her bed, trying to make her last journey comfortable.

They tried giving her some warm milk to drink but she refused it.

One of the nuns took the glass of milk back to the kitchen and remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior’s bed, she held the glass to her lips. The Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more, and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.

“Mother,” the nuns asked with earnest, “please give us some wisdom before you die.”

She raised herself up in bed and said, “Whatever you do, don’t sell that cow!”

Looking For More Laughs?

And now, for my customary self-promotion of my growing YouTube Channel. As you know, I’m always looking for new subscribers, so why not consider subscribing to my My Bonzer Channel. My most popular video, with over 20k views, is the funny golf video. Wouldn’t it be great if my funny Irish drunk joke became as popular?

If you ever wondered how to remove a background from an image, you should watch my Removing the background with InPixio Photo Clip. I’ve also found LuminarA1 to be a fantastic photo editor.

I’ve also added to my Laughaholics series with two new funny videos. The lazy husband video and my Girl Lodger joke are all about a young woman with no pubic hair. 

Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts.

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Father And Son Jokes

This has to be the first time I’ve posted a father and son jokes post. The following joke is what has inspired today’s father and son jokes.

Father And Son Jokes To Laugh At

 A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and asked his dad as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he’d make a deal with his son, “You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut. Then we’ll talk about the car.”

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he’d settle for the offer and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, “Son, you’ve brought your grades up, and I’ve observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I’m disappointed you haven’t had your hair cut.”

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