British Humour Friday Funnies #261

Last weeks post was all about political jokes. This weeks post is about British humour. Why British humour? Great question and I am so glad you asked. It’s to show how British humour is somewhat different from the rest of the world. What you’re going to read next is a whole lot of actual classified ads that were supposedly placed in UK papers.

British Humour Funny Classified Ads

8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.

1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.

Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

Also 1 gay bull for sale.

Must sell washer and dryer £100.

Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is… ****

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

British HumourYep, that last one was a killer ad, that’s for sure.

I don’t think that was enough for this weeks Friday Funnies so I had to hunt for some more stuff that would make you laugh.

Have you ever heard of Billy Connolly? He’s a very popular Scottish comedian loved by millions. He has hundred of one liners and I reckon my favourite would have to be;

“If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, How come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time?

How true is that? It makes so much bloody sense that I may have to try that one on the wife. :tongue_laugh_ee:

Friday Funnies doesn’t usually offer my readers advice, but I’ve decided to change that for this one post. Only because this bit of advice is funny. It’s all about one of those recorded messages that you can leave on your phone :wink_ee:

I dialed a number and got the following recording: “I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life.  Please leave a message after the Beep. If I do not return your call, YOU are one of those changes.”

That’s it Friday Funnies fans. Hope you enjoyed this weeks Friday Funnies to share it with your friends.

If you’re looking for more laughs head on over to my funny sports jokes.

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British Humor Friday Funnies #103

Man, I love Fridays, especially when I have the weekend off  :drunk_tb: Of course theres always the fact that Friday’s also means there is a new Friday Funnies post to look forward to. Right?  :lol_tb: I figured that this time I’d introduce a little British humor.

A Little British Humor

On a crowded train, travelling from Paris to the South, a U.S. Marine on furlough walked the entire length of the train looking for a seat before realizing that the only seat available was currently occupied by a well-dressed, middle-aged French woman’s poodle.

The weary Marine asked, “Ma’am, may I have that seat?”

The French woman just sniffed, and said to no one in particular, “Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.”

The Marine walked the entire length of the train again, and discovered that the only seat available was in fact the one currently being occupied by the poodle.

Trudging tiredly back, the marine arrived once more before the French woman and said, “Please Ma’am, may I sit down? I’m very tired?”

She snorted, “Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant. Why should I care if you are tired?”

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