It’s been awhile since I’ve included any funny blonde jokes for Friday Funnies so this weeks Friday Funnies is dedicated to funny Blonde jokes.
More Funny Blonde Jokes
The first funny blonde joke happens in a bar.
The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde woman’s boobs and splashes all over them. The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the beer off her boobs.
This happens every time the blonde calls for another beer. So after the third beer, a guy decides to help the bartender out. The next time the bartender hit her boobs, the man jumps up and starts to lick her breasts. She decks him!
He is lying on the floor moaning, ‘Jeez, lady… Why do you let the bartender do it and not me?’
“Helloooo!”, says the blonde. ‘He has a licker license!’
I reckon you’ll get a kick out of the next in the funny blonde jokes series.
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from the Gold Coast in Australia when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, ‘Are you going to the Gold Coast?’
‘Sure,’ answered the blonde, ‘do you need a lift ?’
‘Not for me. I’ll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the Gold Coast Zoo. They’re a bit stressed already so I don’t want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me ? I’ll give you $100 for your trouble.’
‘I’d be happy to,’ said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde’s car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of the Gold Coast when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. ‘What the heck are you doing here ?’ he demanded, ‘I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo.’
‘Yes, I know you did,’ said the blonde,’ but we had money left over — so now we’re going to SeaWorld.
Sexy Sals Funny Blonde Joke
Of course it would be a funny blonde jokes series without some input from our own Sexy Sals. Without further ado I give you Sexy Sals latest in her funny blonde jokes series.
Hope you’ve enjoyed this weeks funny blonde jokes. Don’t forget to share it with your friends and remember theres always more funny jokes on my sports site.
There are so many blonde jokes out there I said to myself why not another blonde joke. I figured people out there loved blonde jokes and that being the case they deserved another blonde joke to make them laugh.
Another Blonde Joke To Make You Laugh
A contestant, Sally, on ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire?’ had reached the final plateau.
If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money.
And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover..
It was, ‘Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds?
A) the condor
B) the buzzard
C) the cuckoo
D) the vulture
The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. She had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline.
She hoped she would not have to use it because her friend was, well, blonde. But she had no alternative.
She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.
The blonde responded unhesitatingly : ‘That’s easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo.’
The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Meredith any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering her friend was a blonde that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced.
‘I need an answer,’ said Meredith.
Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, ‘C: The cuckoo.’
‘Is that your final answer?’
‘Yes, that is my final answer.’
And Meredith replied, ‘That answer is…. Absolutely correct!
You are now a millionaire!’
Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.
‘Joni, I just do not know how to thank you,’ said the contestant.
‘How did you happen to know the right answer?’
‘Oh, come on,’ said the blonde…
‘Everybody knows that cuckoos don’t build nests. They live in clocks.’
Of course what’s the point of having another blonde joke if we didn’t get Sexy Sal to make another blonde joke contribution.
And to top off this weeks Friday Funnies I have another blonde joke from Sexy Sal and her mate.
And so ends another Friday Funnies. Sure hope you got a kick out of it. I know I did. Don’t forget to brighten up a friends day by sharing this joke with them. You’ll find the social media icons at the bottom and on the side of this post.
It’s been quite some time since I’ve featured some blonde jokes for Friday Funnies. That’s why this weeks Friday Funnies has some of the funniest blonde jokes that I could find.
The first of the funniest blonde jokes is about a blonde driver who drives, like a blonde ;)
Collection Of Funniest Blonde Jokes
A blonde has just picked up her new Ferrari. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does.
The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up the Ferrari’s leather seats. He turns around and sees her smiling. This infuriates him so he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and giving the Ferrari a new panel beating job. He looks back only to see that the blonde laughing.
He’s really pissed now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she’s laughing so hard, she’s about to fall down. He demands, “What’s so funny?” She says, “Every time you weren’t looking, I I was jumping in and out of the circle!”
We haven’t seen Sexy Sal for awhile so I figured it was time for her to earn her keep. So, for your pleasure she’s come up with some of her funniest blonde jokes.
The next in the funniest blonde jokes is about a blonde and her boyfriend.
A blonde and her boyfriend are out on a date, where they go to see a movie. Her boyfriend gets up to go to the snack bar and asks her what she wants. She asks him to please get her a bag of M&Ms. He brings her the bag and she proceeds to throw all the brown colored candies onto the floor. Wondering why, her boyfriend asks her, “honey, why are you throwing away all the brown ones?”
Without skipping a beat the blonde places a hand on his shoulder and says, “oh, honey. You know I don’t like chocolate!”
Now for Sexy Sals second funniest blonde jokes.
Our final funniest blonde jokes once again takes place at the cinema.
A biggish bloke was sitting in an aisle because it felt roomier than the other ones. The feature was just about to start when a blonde from the centre of the row gets up and starts working her way out.
“Excuse me, pardon me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.” By the time she got to the biggish bloke at the end of the row, while blocking his view and obvilously frustrated he said, “Couldn’t you have done this before?”
“No!” says the blonde in a loud whisper. “They just flashed the ‘TURN OFF YOUR MOBILE PHONE PLEASE’ message on the screen and mine is in the car.”
And so ends another Friday Funnies. I hope you liked my collection of funniest blonde jokes enough to share it with your friends.