Bar Jokes Friday Funnies #323

For today’s Friday Funnies, I have a couple of bar Jokes. The first if my bar jokes is one of Sexy Sal’s blonde jokes but because it takes place in a bar I reckon it passes as one of my bar jokes.

Sexy Sal’s Blonde Bar Jokes

bar jokes Sexy Sal bar jokes

4 Men In A Bar Joke

Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Yuma, Arizona. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, “Old Timers Bar – ALL drinks 10 cents.” They look at each
other, and then go in, thinking, ‘This is too good to be true.’

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, “Come on in and let me pour one for you! What will It be, gentlemen?”

There’s a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini. In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis – shaken, not stirred – and says, “That’ll be 10
cents each, please.”

The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can’t believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.
Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying, “That’s 40 cents, please.” They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them.
They’ve each had two martinis and haven’t even spent a dollar yet.

Finally one of them says, “How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?”

“I’m a retired tailor from Phoenix,” the bartender says, “and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the lottery jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this
place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer – it’s all the same”

“Wow! That’s some story!” one of the men says. As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can’t help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don’t have any drinks in front of them and haven’t ordered anything the whole time they’ve been there. Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the bartender, “What’s with them?”

The bartender says, “They’re retirees from Australia. They’re waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price.”

That’s it, guys. Hope you enjoyed this week’s Friday Funnies! Don’t forget to check out some of my other hilarious Friday Funnies. You’ll also get heaps of laughs watching some of my really funny videos.

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Two Blonde Genies Friday Funnies #156

Two Blonde Genies Grant Three Wishes

two blonde genies

Blondes come in many shape and forms. Probably the most famous blonde genie would have to be Barbara Eden in the I dream of Genie Series, speaking of which you can actually buy the I Dream of Jeannie: The Complete Series.

If you remember that series you would know that she was a typical blonde. That brings to todays Friday Funnies about two blonde genies.

A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes.

The guy makes his three wishes and the two blonde genies disappear. The next thing the guy knows, he’s in a bedroom, in a mansion surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house.

Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor is covered in $100 bills.

Then, there’s a knock at the door. . . He answers it and standing there are two persons dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits. They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he’s dead.

As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods; it’s the two blonde genies.

One blonde genie says to the other one,” I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire. But why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me.”

I don’t know about you but I wasn’t prepared for that punchline at all.

Hope you liked this weeks Friday Funnies about two blonde genies. If you did why not share it with your friends.

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Vicar Sexy Sal Blonde Joke Friday Funnies #120

 This weeks Friday Funnies is all about a small town who just love their Vicar and can’t stand the thought that they may lose him to a bigger congregation. The following joke just goes to show how much they love the guy.

At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation.

No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

How Do We Keep The Vicar

Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Glasgow, stands up and proclaims, ‘If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Mercedes every year and his wife with a Volkswagen mini-van to transport their children!’ vicar joke

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, if the Vicar will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education for all of his children!’

More sighs and loud applause. 

Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, ‘If the Vicar stays, I will give him free sex.’

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her, ‘Mrs Jones, you’re a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?’

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