Something that I have wanted to do for a very long time is to actually do a video of myself and host it online for all to see. The thing is that I don’t really want to be on public display, being such a shy bloke and all, but I figured, seeing as how it is the new year and all, what the heck.
This particular video will demonstrate my sick sense of humor. It has sexual overtones so if you think that you may be offended don’t watch. No, there is nothing that involves the sexual act, no naked breasts or hot steaming thighs. There is not even a hint of copulation, or even the slights glimpse of sexual organs!. But even so, there is a hint of some form of sexual content so just remember, You Have Been Warned! How’s that for keyword stuffing? 
Remember, if you want to see more of this stuff, simply get everyone you know to promote it using Digg, Stumble, Tweet or whatever means they like. I need all the encouragement I can get to do another performance of this magnitude.
You may also want to take part in the poll. You can make two selections in this poll.
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Dan
7 Jan 2009YAY VIDEO SIRE! :D
I quite liked that Sire, I have one that you might like that I have used to great success:
Me: Did you know, that 20% of women masterbate in the shower, and the other 80% sing? Do you know what they sing?
Women: Ummm, no? (little creeped out)
Me: Oh…you must be in the 20% then…
Has worked like a charm for me, as its completely unexpected! Normally gets a great reaction, and sometimes them trying to ‘prove’ to you that they aren’t…ahh good times back then :)
Am stumbling away Sire, stumbling away
Dan´s Last blog post..18 Steps To $180 | Free Champagne
Sire
7 Jan 2009Hey Dan, I can see how that would work, and maybe because I am slightly biased, but I much prefer mine…lol
Unfortunately I don’t think the wife would approve of me trying your line on anyone and so I can only go by experience. Perhaps I should get my son to try them both out and see which works the best.
Oh, on a side note, did you forget to stumble, I checked and yours wasn’t there.
Dan
7 Jan 2009I did – I actually saw the time and had to go into ‘work mode’ as I had to perform a release for my employer tonight. When I finished I had forgot. Tis rectified now though my dear Sire!
Dan´s Last blog post..18 Steps To $180 | Free Champagne
Sire
7 Jan 2009Damn stupid thing isn’t working then Dan, I just had another look and the only vote is from Christine. Oh well, thanks for trying mate.
Dan
8 Jan 2009Hmmm, that is odd…I definatly put it through! Had to sign up and everything though
Dan´s Last blog post..The Magic Of Finding Blogs To Comment On
Sire
8 Jan 2009No problems Dan, it’s obviously some sort of damn bug. Don’t worry about it mate.
Christine Senter
7 Jan 2009LOLOLOL, funny.
I think you should do more videos. You’re a natural. LOL
Christine Senter´s Last blog post..Michael Geffner-Wednesday’s Writer-1-7-09
Ben
23 Jan 2009This I have to agree.. Sire you have good sense of humour there!
Sire
7 Jan 2009My dear Christine, I knew you would like it. We share the same sense of humor. As you naturally live in the States, I hope my using that particular finger didn’t spoil it for you. I will be more careful in my next video, which as stated above will only happen if the popularity of this one takes off.
Christine Senter
7 Jan 2009No sweat. Not the first time I’ve seen that particular finger used, just for different, ummmm, reasons???
I know full well that what is meant in one part of the world, doesn’t always mean the same things in other parts of the world. Not everyone keeps that in mind. Just remind me never to give the peace sign in England. LOL
Christine Senter´s Last blog post..Michael Geffner-Wednesday’s Writer-1-7-09
Sire
8 Jan 2009OK, now why is that a problem unless you have your fingers facing the wrong way, because if you do, even in Australia it ceases to be a peace sign.
Mark Smith
20 Aug 2009And if you make the peace sign in a bar in Rome, they may just bring you 5 beers. For me, still not a problem. Ha ha.
.-= Mark Smith´s last blog ..Comment Spam Detective Trick =-.
Sire
21 Aug 2009I’m with you on that one Mark, and thanks for taking the time to leave a comment.
stratosg
7 Jan 2009i wouldn’t say hilarius but funny. this is for one reason. if i’m not lucky when i show the finger i might get kicked you know where and that not only ruin it for me and her but for the whole night or even worse nights :D
stratosg´s Last blog post..BloggerBuddy: Now on Beta version (v0.4)
Sire
7 Jan 2009I can live with funny stratos, but I can tell you that in real life it had many people in stitches, probably because you just deliver the line and are not instructing people how to do it.
stratosg
8 Jan 2009i didn’t want to hurt your feelings in any way! i just know that i am not fit to deliver the line and i will definitely end up on the ER of some hospital :D
stratosg´s Last blog post..BloggerBuddy: Small update to v0.5
Sire
8 Jan 2009No need to worry about that Stratos, I am pretty thick skinned so it take a fair bit to hurt my feelings.
Jeremy from Listen To Me Bitch
7 Jan 2009Well done sire, quite humorous, although I think I would choose to use a different finger here in the states. Although the underlying humor may work in a bar setting, me giving them the finger almost assuredly would not.
Dan-
I’ve always liked that line but never used it. I feel like at this point I have missed my chance since it’s somewhat mainstream, so they may already know the punch line.
I look forward to episode 2 and did some digging / stumbling for you.
Jeremy
Jeremy´s Last blog post..Tips for Unnecessary Services: What Happened to Tipping?
Sire
7 Jan 2009Now, therin lies my problem Jeremy, I used that particular finger because it’s the one I use, if you get my drift, and it just automatically popped up. I must remember when I visit the States to pay more attention to which finger I use for that line. Not to pick anyone up mind you, just as a joke.
Dan
7 Jan 2009Yeah I wondered about the finger, but it’d be the one I use too.
Luckilly over here in the UK its not too mainstream yet, hurrah! Havent used it in a while though, seeing as I’ve been seeing my current girlfriend for over a year now…might throw it about at work tomorrow, just for a laugh! lol
Sire
8 Jan 2009That’s the way Dan, keeping it for the one that you love mate is always a good policy.
Yan
8 Jan 2009LOL….. one thing is certain. You look good in the video so perhaps your pick line has a better conversion rate than mine. But what a minute? usually I’m on the receiving end… if you know what I mean… you feel me, don’t you?
Yan
Yan´s Last blog post..The Ultimate WordPress Theme for SEO
Sire
8 Jan 2009I feel you Yan, and with a light adjustment to the pick up line with a change of had gesture a woman could actually use this to pick you up, which probably wouldn’t be that hard, right?
Yan
8 Jan 2009Hahaha….. I’m not too sure the modified version is workable in my local area or if it sounds better without the Aussie accent. Let me get the sunglasses first…. a black one, right?
Yan
Yan´s Last blog post..The Ultimate WordPress Theme for SEO
Sire
9 Jan 2009That’s it Yan. Say, did you get that email I sent you with the link to the Theme I chose for winning the November competition?
Yan
9 Jan 2009No I did not. I’m guessing it must have dropped into my spam folder. On last count, it has 1541 spams on my Gmail.
Which theme, Sire?
Yan
Yan´s Last blog post..The Ultimate WordPress Theme for SEO
Sire
9 Jan 2009When I came back from Sydney my Spam folder had over 10,000. Way too many to go through so I deleted the whole lot. Anyway, this is the theme that I thought I may be able to use for a new blog I have planned for the near future.
Yan
9 Jan 2009I’ve just sent you an email. Go and grab it while it lasts…. I trust you.
Yan
Yan´s Last blog post..The Ultimate WordPress Theme for SEO
Sire
9 Jan 2009Thanks Yan, it’s done. I will let you know when it’s up.
Mitch
8 Jan 2009Twitter: mitch_m
Goodness Sire, you’re a sight for sore eyes, that’s for sure. I gave you a vote for funny and crude; not sure that one would get you far in the States, especially with today’s modern woman. But I like how you delivered it. I’m trying to figure out how I missed it until you sent me the link.
Mitch´s Last blog post..My Search Engine SERP Tests
Sire
9 Jan 2009I’m not surprised at all Mitch with all the research you’ve been doing lately for your posts. I actually tried that line today on one of my customers, not as a pickup, more as a joke. At first she had this shocked look on her face and then she burst out laughing. Her assistant was laughing too, but not at the joke, as she thought it hilarious that I posted something on YouTube. What’s with that, am I too old for YouTube?
Still waiting for all those Stumbles and Diggs, definitely won’t be any repeat performance unless it gets way up there somewhere…LOL
Sheryl Loch
9 Jan 2009Hey Sire,
Wish you would have used that line in my bar. Would have been funner than shit to see you get your arse kicked by a bunch of “ladies”.
I will say that I love the accent! Just hearing you talk made me smile. Well, maybe it was the groovy glasses and hat that set it off.
I do think it is great that you have made a video. It is one of my goals this year. I just have nothing to say and when I do, well, people seem to get offended.
I think ya’ are superstar material!
Sheryl Loch´s Last blog post..Tracking Blog Comments on BackType
Sire
9 Jan 2009Hi Sherryl, I never try the line on more than one lady at a time as I’ve noticed they can tend to gang up on you when in numbers.
I have an accent? I’m glad you like it and the hardest part of doing the video was getting started. It takes a few goes but it was pretty painless, except for my daughter who feels that I am going to ruin her reputation. I just don;t know where these kids get their weird ideas from.
Sire
9 Jan 2009Believe it or not Missy, I am quite shy offline and religious as well, but honestly I don’t see the harm in having a little fun. I have never really tried that line as a pickup at all, have actually never tried any line to my knowledge. I have however said it to a whole heap of people and it’s always gone down well.
As for the props, the glasses are my prescription ‘sunnies’ and the hat is one that my wife doesn’t like me wearing but one that I am quite fond of.
app
10 Jan 2009Gee, and here I was thinking that the thing that attracted your wife was your sense of humor…and that you probably used that line on her and it was love at first laugh.
I am not sure who in my house laughed more…me or my daughter. (and we love your accent!)
Please, we’d love to see more vids.
I shared it on Friendfeed, if it makes you happy enough to make more.
Sire
10 Jan 2009I am so glad that you guys loved the video. It’s nice to know that I was able to span the generation gap. Thanks for that Friendfeed link. I do believe I first saw it on your blog but I still haven’t taken the time to join. Sometime soon I hope.
And what’s all this about an accent?
Peter
10 Jan 2009Hey Sire,
I like your video because now when you comment on my post I could ‘hear’ you speaking through the words you write. It just shows that videos are so powerful. You only revealed 90% of your face though since you had those playboy sunglasses on (are those yours or your son’s). Yeah I give you more credit for your acting than the joke, although it was funny. Hope your video does well. I just stumbled it, yeah that’s one for the finger.
Peter
Peter´s Last blog post..Blog Carnival of Link Building, Blogging Tips,Traffic Secrets
Sire
10 Jan 2009Thanks for the compliment Peter and for the stumble review. I returned the favor for one of your posts. That’s the way mates help each other out.
As for the acting, I reckon I can do with a bit of practice, and those glasses are my prescription sunglasses LOL
Missy from VegetarianBlog
9 Jan 2009Hi, Sire:
I don’t go to bars and i’m only wild online. Offline i’m shy as a bat. I was raised quire religiously, so not sure that line would work on me. lol.
But i give you mad props for the video and going out on a limb. Well done.
Missy.
Brian D. Hawkins
10 Jan 2009Twitter: hotblogtips
Sire, you may have a future in Hollywood. I’ll be your agent ;) That was a smart thing to do making that video. Now we can feel like we know you better. Hey, why couldn’t I vote for funny AND I Want To See More? That’s my vote.
@ Sheryl – I won’t get offended, record that video :)
@ Missy – Sire said he was shy too and he looked anything but.
BTW, Who’s the affiliate for Elegant Themes, you or Yan? I was thinking about signing up for that. Someone send me an affiliate link.
Brian D. Hawkins´s Last blog post..100 Dollar Domains – Special Offer
Sire
10 Jan 2009Thanks Brian, if I need an agent I will look you up mate, and you can actually vote on two of the selections. Thanks for the stumble too, I need a whole lot more if you guys are to persuade me to do more videos.
As for the Elegant Themes, that would have to be Yan, certainly not me as I’m sure I would remember.
Oh, I am too shy!!!!
Yan
10 Jan 2009Brian
I don’t recall I send you an affiliate link. I usually don’t do that. That said, I’d not mind if you use mine though…. ;-)
Brian D. Hawkins
10 Jan 2009Twitter: hotblogtips
Thanks Yan, I was just reading into the comments.
Brian D. Hawkins´s Last blog post..100 Dollar Domains – Special Offer
Sire
10 Jan 2009Don’t make fun of my hat mate as I picked that up in New Zealand some thirty years ago, so if you make fun of that you make fun of NZ (WAPITI) handicrafts…. I may wear the cork hat on another day, when there are more flies around.
peter petterson
10 Jan 2009Crudely funny. What’s with the pommy stetson,mate? I thought you would be wearing one of those hats with all the corks?
Cheers,
KIwi Peter
The Knowledgelady
11 Jan 2009I saw your comment over on John Chows’ blog and thought the by line looked familiar, low and behold it’s Aussie Sire! It’s been awhile since I checked in on your blogs. This time I am glad I did since I finally got to get a view of you as well. Love the accent! If the joke was done by an American it would be more crude, the accent and slang sells it.
Just an old buddy from BlogFeast-
The Knowledgelady´s Last blog post..What toys have you given up on?
Sire
11 Jan 2009I’m glad you liked it but I must admit you have me stumped. I don’t remember any ‘The knowledge Lady’ from Blogfeast? You wouldn’t be “The Riding Fool’ by any chance?
The Knowledgelady
12 Jan 2009You got it right on the button. “Riding Fool” would only fit a horse blog so that “by” line had to change. The email addy was a dead giveaway wasn’t it? I am actually up to the point where my family can almost live off of the money I earn blogging. It only took 3 years to get there.
The Knowledgelady´s Last blog post..What toys have you given up on?
Sire
12 Jan 2009Actually I worked it out by your My Zimbio page, and it’s great that you’ve taken your blogging career to the point where it can almost support your family. That must be a very satisfying feeling.
Bill
13 Jan 2009Great pick up line. I could see that working a lot. good work. I thought it was hilarious and would love to hear more.
Sire
14 Jan 2009You really want to see more? Then make sure you stumble or digg it, because it ain’t going to happen unless I see some real interest in it. :tongue_wink_ee:
Other than that, I am glad you liked it.
Andrew from Andrew's Breakfast
15 Jan 2009Hahaha! I applaud you, as I am not sure I would have the guts to say that to a woman in a bar! I think using video here was a good choice, and it works well for you, as others seem to mention as well. That joke/pick-up line just wouldn’t have worked in type . . .
Andrew´s Last blog post..Kölsch in North Carolina!
Sire
15 Jan 2009Maybe if you had a few Kölsch’s in you it would be a different story. You just have to be careful that you don’t slur your words.
fasblog
16 Jan 2009Nice video there. It would be nice if you could share the steps it took you to make it?
Make Money Online Tips´s Last blog post..Affiliate Marketing For The Newbie Marketer
Sire
16 Jan 2009No major steps really, just me, the video camera and some production work to get the titling done and then uploaded it to YouTube.
Make Money Online Tips
17 Jan 2009What software did you use to edit the video?
Make Money Online Tips´s Last blog post..How To Write A Successful Business Plan
Sire
20 Jan 2009It’s called Cyberlink Power Director. I should have guessed that was what you meant.
Bulk sms
18 Jan 2009Your warning forced me to saw this video and I think you did the right trick by posting those warning. Remember we would love to see those movies which have the mark of 18+. Your case was similar to that … lollzz
Sire
19 Jan 2009I am glad you found it amusing, after all, that was the purpose for creating the video.
T Edwards
19 Jan 2009Hey Sire
It is so cool and refreshing to see someone with a real personality and a sense of humor. Well done and keep the jokes coming!
T
T Edwards´s Last blog post..My To Do List Is Complete…Almost
Sire
19 Jan 2009Thanks Mr.T, all it would take is a whole lot more stumbles for that to eventuate, I have nothing but time whilst I wait for that to happen.
Sire´s Last blog post..Financial Advice To Remedy Last Years Economic BS
Khaled
22 Jan 2009Nice to finally see a video think it was a great idea!! would never have the balls to deliver that one myself though.
Sire
23 Jan 2009To tell you the truth Kahled, I have told many a woman this joke, but have never tried it as a pickup line. I’m glad you enjoyed the video.
Donace
23 Jan 2009Brilliant man! I know a few aussie chicks and I can just imagine their reactions to this joke!
I’ll let you know how it goes ;)
Sire
23 Jan 2009Don’t forget to let me know what happens Donace, and make sure you take a good photo of any bruises you may receive.
Ben
23 Jan 2009Lol seems like you’re getting sexier with your language these days huh.. I doubt I can use that in my country..
Ben´s Last blog post..Are You Afraid Of Recession?
Sascha Partnersuche
29 Jan 2009Funny, i will share it!
A market researcher called at a house and a young woman answered his knock with three small children running around her. He asked her if she minded replying to his questions and she agreed. He asked her if she knew his company, Cheese borough-Ponds. When she said no, he mentioned that among their many products was Vaseline and she certainly knew of that product. When asked if she used it, the answer was “Yes.” Asked how she used it, she said, “To assist sexual intercourse.” The interviewer was amazed. He said, “I always ask that question because everyone uses our product and they always say they use it for the child’s bicycle chain, or the gate hinge; but I know that most use it for sexual intercourse. Since you’ve been so frank, could you tell me exactly how you use it?” “We put it on the doorknob to keep the kids out.”
Sire
29 Jan 2009That’s pretty good Sascha, I never would have thought of using it in that way. Perhaps, if I am still able, I can try it when I have the grand kids around.
Sascha Partnersuche
29 Jan 2009Thanks a lot! I ll send you some more!
Sprinkler
29 Jan 2009Mate your warning in text scared me and I was expecting some porn kind of video. But this one was below that one and you are looking smart and handsome in your look.
Sprinkler´s Last blog post..Outdoor Services Home changed
Sire
29 Jan 2009Hey, you never know how some people relate to certain topics that have sexual connotations so I just figured I would post a warning that would cover a broad spectrum of people.
Trey - Swollen Thumb Entertainment
2 Feb 2009That doesn’t offend me, but I just don’t see that as being a successful method of picking up women. Maybe the women are different down in Austrailia, but here in America, I just feel that IF i was able to finish that joke after I held up my middle finger, I’d still get slapped across the face.
Trey – Swollen Thumb Entertainment´s Last blog post..Who What Where When Now!
Sire
2 Feb 2009It was never actually used as a pickup line at all. I’ve only ever used it as a joke, and I have never been slapped once as I always started off with, “Do you want to hear a good joke?” The pick-up line thing was just an attention getter and I thought went well with the theme of the video.
Kikolani from Blogging, Poetry, Photography
9 Mar 2009I’m not sure how I missed this post originally, but this is funny. Not crude, but I am all about crude and pervy humor, so I can’t really judge whether others would find it offensive. But I love it! And the accent! :)
~ Kristi
Kikolani´s Last blog post..Fountain Park in Fountain Hills, Arizona
Sire
12 Mar 2009Thanks Kristi, I know how some people may have a different opinion, but I am glad that you liked it.
コンタクトレンズ
14 Mar 2009Who says that this is offensive … this one is spices for food and reason to live this life. Really cool videos dude … keep it up and post as per your will … After all you are here to express your self and that should not be decided by others …
What do you think ???
Sire
15 Mar 2009Thanks for the compliment, and yes I will post as I see fit, hoping that along the way I do not offend anyone. A character flaw that I have.
Jamie
25 May 2009I like men who have a kinky sense of humor. Chances is that you’ve probably already been hitched with your stand up comic antics.
Alejandro Seguros Coche
12 Jun 2009Nice video!
It was really funny. Maybe I post one of myself one day.
cheers
Sire
12 Jun 2009@ Jamie and Alejandro, glad you liked it as it makes it all worth while.
Jean Amoureux
17 Jun 2009It was really good video. I looked it twice.
You had really good idea making this.
Maybe I will follow your idea
Thanks
Sire
17 Jun 2009Thanks Jean, I’m glad you liked it. Making your own video is a good idea.
Jamie
8 Jul 2009Sire, that’s a really weird pick up line. Hope you have luck with it.
Sire
23 Jul 2009John from Solar power man
19 Jul 2009Love the aussie accent. I used to have an aussie friend who was talking about “Sheelahs” all the time :D Took me some time to figure out what he meant :D
.-= John@Solar power man´s last blog ..The Sun =-.
Sire
23 Jul 2009I’m glad you like it John
Alejandro
27 Jul 2009Awesome video!!!! It was a funny video of you. I also want to make my own video to see how I am in front of the camera :)
I am now thinking of a topic which would be interesting for everyone, so that I can have more public.
cheers
.-= Alejandro ´s last blog ..Es hora de tomarse un descanso =-.
Sire
27 Jul 2009Well let us know when you have it up so we can have a look.
.-= Sire´s last blog ..Flowers Make For Great Photos =-.
Mark Smith
20 Aug 2009Sire,
Great joke, and great video. You have inspired me to build on the success of your entry, and tweak it a bit for a follow up to a post on our website. Next week, Doug & I will post a video with some funny jokes and give our viewers a forum to share their own. I realized we did a post on adding video to your blog, then failed to add any video to that specific post. I did a little research and found your Icebreaker Video on youtube. Classic. Imitation is the greatest form of flattery, so I hope you are fine with my next post.
.-= Mark Smith´s last blog ..Comment Spam Detective Trick =-.
Sire
21 Aug 2009Are you kidding? The suspense is killing me. I can’t wait.
Pickup Lines
4 Sep 2009Proof that it really is all in your delivery. Like some others said, I would like to see this in person in the states. It just goes to prove that it’s not what you say, necessarily it is how you say it (and who says it)!
Ned from Baltimore Investing
11 Sep 2009That’s funny. I don’t think I would have the courage to use a line like that – well OK maybe with someone I know.
I stumbled this for you.
.-= Ned@Baltimore Investing´s last blog ..2009 Baltimore Tax Sale Results =-.
Sire
11 Sep 2009Thanks Ned, I’m glad you liked it enough to go through the hassle of stumbling it. Thanks mate.
Sandra
14 Sep 2009Hahaha. That was just funny!
You’re kind of cute as well Sire :)
.-= Sandra@1800PetMeds Blog´s last blog ..Why Does My Dog or Cat Scratch So Much? =-.
Sire
1 Nov 2009Why thanks Sandra, that made my day.
Anne from AnneOnLife
28 Dec 2009And this is what happens when I go snooping through other people’s blogs!
:cheese1_ee:
.-= Anne@AnneOnLife´s last blog ..2010 Wish List ~ Non-Resolution Style =-.
Sire
28 Dec 2009Well Anne I hope it was worth snooping around and that you liked my performance.
vinnybillups
16 Jun 2011This is funny and it made my day by far,lol.Great sense of humor.
Janis Gagliardi from ormond beach real
19 Sep 2011Sire,
What I like is your great sense of humor :) Do you have some green thing, you just made my day.
Janis Gagliardi recently posted…Daytona Beach Realtors Offer Advanced Website Features to Home and Condo Buyers
Bill Gassett
8 Jan 2012Sire that was pretty funny! I am enjoying making my way through your site today. Video is always a nice way to capture your personality.
Bill Gassett recently posted…Real Estate For Sale By Owner’s Usually Fail
Sire
16 Mar 2012Hey Bill, sorry for the late reply. Glad you enjoyed the site, it makes it all worth while.
Craig
16 Mar 2012Hahaha! Good one, SIre! You’re really a natural. I loved it! Can you post some more videos like this or maybe get some people to video actual responses, it’ll be hilarious! Also, Dan, I liked that joke!
Sire
16 Mar 2012Glad you liked it Craig, and just so you know I have posted some new ones.