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Sexual Jokes Friday Funnies #194

Sexual jokes or jokes of a sexual nature can be pretty funny. That’s why this weeks Friday Funnies is all about sexual jokes.

Sexual Jokes Anniversary Style

Our first sexual joke takes place on a couples 50th anniversary.

On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired military man, and asked, ‘Honey, do you remember this?’

He looked up from his newspaper and said; ‘Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married’

She said, ‘Yes, that’s right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?’

He nodded and said ‘Yes dear’, I said; ‘Oh baby, I’m going to suck the life out of those boobs and shag your brains out.’

She giggled and said; ‘So now it’s fifty years later, and I’m in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight?’

He looked her up and down and said; ‘Mission Accomplished”

You can just tell that this guy had to be ex-military because most blokes wouldn’t have the guts to say something like that.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

You can almost imagine this next sexual joke taking place in someones home.

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life.

She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband sipping a
glass of wine.

At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs wide
enough that her husband asks,

“Are you wearing crotchless panties?”

“Y-e-s,” she answers with a seductive smile.

“Thank God – I thought you were sitting on the cat.”

He never saw the wine glass coming!

So, what do you think of this blokes bravery, or perhaps just a total lack of common sense.  :doh_tb:

Speaking of pussies, have you ever wondered what a cat would think of us calling that part of a woman’s anatomy a pussy?

sexual jokes

For our last joke of a sexual nature we go to Africa! A couple on an African Safari witnessed a small antelope being chased down by a cheetah.  The wife told the husband, “If that antelope survives this one, I’ll make love to you every day for the rest of your life.”  

Check out the results.

And so ends another Friday Funnies. Sure hope you enjoyed it. Don’t forget to visit my  Sports Joke site for more laughs and above all have a great and safe weekend.

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Peter Pelliccia

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Twitter:
    damn hilarious!!! i love the jokes. Promise a man sex for the rest of his life and see his inner-man come alive. LOL
    I still wonder where you get your jokes from.

    Have a nice weekend.

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