Ok, I’m going out on a limb this Friday Funnies by offer you some funny sex jokes. Personally, I find these sex jokes to be very tame but I’m going to warn you all the same, just in case there are some of you out there who may find these sex jokes offensive.
Freddie can’t get an erection so he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells
him the muscles at the base of his penis are broken down and there’s
nothing he can do unless he’s willing to try an experimental surgery.
Freddie asks what the surgery is and the doctor tells him they take
the muscles from the base of a baby elephant’s trunk, insert them in
the base of his penis, and hope for the best. Freddie says that sounds pretty
scary but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier, so he says ok.
The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about 6 weeks
later the doctor gives Freddie the go ahead to “try out his new equipment”.
Freddie takes his wife Jenny, out to dinner. While at dinner Freddie starts
feeling incredible pressure in his pants. It gets unbearable and he
figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants. No sooner does
he do this than his penis pops out of his pants, rolls across the table,
grabs a apple from the fruitbasket, and disappears back into his pants.
Jenny sits in shock for a few moments, and then gets a sly look
on her face. She says, “That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?” With
his eyes watering and a painful look on his face, Freddie says, “Probably,
but don’t know if I can fit another apple up my ass.”
This next in our series of sex jokes is about a family of prostitutes.
Three prostitutes are living together, a grandmother, a mother and her daughter. On evening the daughter comes home looking very down.
“How did you do tonight dear?” asks the mother.
“Not too good,” replies the daughter. “I only got $20 for a blow job!”
“Wow,” says the mother. “Back in my day we were lucky to get $20 for a blow job.”
“Gracious me,” says the grandmother. “Back in my day we were grateful to get something warm in our stomach.
Finally, to finish off the sex jokes for today, I put something together using The Creator.