I’m sure that I’ve included a sex joke or two in my Friday Funnies but I don’t think I’ve ever structured one around the sex joke keywords. As bloggers we all know how important keywords are to get noticed by the search engines. For this reason this week’s Friday funnies will include a sex joke or two.
Now we all know how our beloved postman are sometimes known for their sexual exploits. The thing is sometimes it’s not always their fault. This story relates such a time.
Postman Pat…A Sex Joke
It was Postman Pat’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a cheque for £50.
At the second house they presented him an 18-carat gold watch.
The folks at the 3rd house handed him a bottle of 15-year old Scotch whisky.
At the 4th house he was met at the door by a blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. They then went downstairs where the blonde fixed him a full English breakfast: Bacon,Eggs, Sausage & Tomato with freshly squeezed orange juice. As she was pouring him a cup of steaming coffee, he noticed a one pound coin in the saucer.
“All this is just too wonderful for words,” he said, “but what’s the quid for?”
“Well,” said the blonde,”Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what I should give you and he said, ‘Screw him, give him a quid.'” She smiled shyly and said, “The breakfast was my idea.”
This next sex joke is an oldie. It’s so old I heard it way back when I was in high school which is some 40 odd years ago.
Three Prostitutes Sex Joke
There are these three prostitutes who meet up for coffee one night after a grueling day at work. As is the norm they discuss their daily activities. One prostitute asks the question, “How do you know when you’ve had a good night? For me I like to get home and lie beneath some satin sheets and if I feel relaxed, cool and tingly I know that I have had a good night.”
The other prostitute says, “I like to pour myself a nice shot of scotch and if I feel warm and relaxed I know I have had a good night.”
The third prostitute looks at them as if they were from another planet. She says, “You gotta be kidding me! When I get home I just rip off my panties and throw them up against the wall and if they stick there I know I’ve had a good night.”
Of course you can always get more funny sports jokes over at my sports site.