Friday Funnies has a lot of senior citizen jokes because they either do funny stuff or they use their wit to belittle the young whippersnappers of the day. One such senior citizen joke was called Senior Jokes over a year ago. I thought it was about time I came up with some more senior citizen jokes.
Senior Citizen Jokes And Technology
This young bloke attending a recent football game took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. ‘You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one, ‘the young bloke said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. ‘The young people of today are much more advanced than people your age. We grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, a man walking on the moon and the internet. We have cell phones, nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers, automated manufacturing, amazing. Technologies, …and,’ paused to take another drink of beer.
The senior took advantage of the break in his litany and said, ‘You’re right, son. We didn’t have those things when we were young Which is why we invented them. Now, you arrogant little shit, what are YOU doing for the next generation?’
The applause was resounding… I love senior citizens.
Now, you all know that I get all my Friday Funnies jokes from emails people send me. Not this next one though. I found the following of my senior citizen jokes here.
The Perfect Marriage
A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other, except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day, the little old woman got very sick, and the doctor said she would not recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside.
She agreed that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totalling $95,000.
He asked her about the contents. “When we were to be married,” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.”
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back the tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had just been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.
“Honey,” he said, “that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?”
“Oh,” she said. “That’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”