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Scottish Jokes For Friday Funnies #182

G’day WassupBlog readers and welcome to this weeks Friday Funnies.  :drunk_tb: For todays Friday Funnies I’m going to have another looks at some Funny Scottish jokes. I know we’ve tackled the Scottish before but they’re do bloody funny I’m sure you’d like a few more.

Scottish Jokes The Blood Donor

A wealthy Arab Sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his type of blood in case the need arose.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally, so the call went out.

Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, in appreciation for giving his blood, the Arab sent the Scotsman a new BMW, 5 carats of diamonds, and $50,000 dollars.

A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery.

The hospital telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate more of his blood again.

After the second nd surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Black Magic chocolates.

The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had before.

He phoned the Arab and asked him: “I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another BMW, diamonds and money …
but you only gave me a thank-you card and a box of chocolates.”

To this the Arab replied: “Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins.”

Come on! You just have to love that one.  :tongue_laugh_ee:

Scottish Jokes The Scottish Jew

An elderly Scottish Jew decided to slow down and take up lawn bowls, so he applied for membership at the local club.

After a week he received a message that his application has been rejected. He went to the club to ask why.

Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish bowls club?

Scot: Aye, but I am as Scottish as you are, McTavish.

Secretary: This means that on formal occasions we wear the kilt.

Scot: Aye, so do I.

Secretary: You are aware that we wear nothing under the kilt?

Scot: Aye, neither do I.

Secretary: But you are a Jew?

Scot: Aye, I be that.

Secretary: So you are circumcised?

Scot: Aye, I be that, too.

Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable with that.

Scot: Ach, away with ya, man. I know that you have to be a Protestant to march with the Orangemen. And I know that you have to be a Catholic to join the Knights of Columbus, but this is the first time I’ve heard that you have to be a complete prick to join a bowls club.

Finally, I’ve put together a funny Scottish Jokes Image!

Scottish Jokes

I hope you enjoyed this weeks Friday Funnies about Scottish Joke. I also hope that you help this post by sharing it with your friends.

Wanting more jokes, why not visit my Funny Sports Jokes.

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Peter Pelliccia

I'm an Aussie blogger who loves to blog and share everything that I've learned on my blogging journey, including blogging tips and ways to blog for money. I am also trying to make my way on YouTube. You can follow my progress by subscribing to My Bonzer Channel.