I’m a red-blooded Aussie, and I have to admit that I love sex jokes. The thing is that sex jokes don’t have to be vulgar and be full of swear words. To prove my point, I’ve come up with this Safe For Work Sex Jokes post. Now and again, I will be linking to one of my YouTube videos that I believe are also safe for work sex jokes.
Funny Safe For Work Sex Jokes
A typical macho bloke married a regular good looking lady, and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules. “I’ll be home when I want if I want, what time I want, and I don’t expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner. I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my buddies, and I don’t want you to give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?”
His new bride said, “Nope, that’s fine with me. As long as you remember that there will be sex under this roof every night at seven o’clock, whether you’re here or not.”
Which brings me to my first safe for work sex-related video, my Walk In A Bar Sex Joke
Sex Ad Result Safe For Work
A lonely woman places an ad in her local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed.”
Two days later, her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won’t run away.”
“What makes you think you are great in bed?” the woman retorts.
Tim replies, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”
Safe for work sex-related video. Trouble getting a hard-on joke
Funny Sex Worker Joke
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads, “Ham & Cheese Sandwich: $2.50; Chicken Sandwich: $4.50; Hand Job: $10.00.”
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three beautiful blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. “Yes?” she enquires with a knowing smile, “Can I help you?”
“I was wondering,” whispers the man, “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?”
“Yes,” she purrs, “I am.”
The man replies, “Well, go wash your hands. I want a ham & cheese sandwich!”
Ok, the next video isn’t really about sex, but it does have the word sex in it. Funniest sexist joke.
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Of course, you know you can always get more laughs at my Friday Funnies posts.