I’m calling this post random jokes because that’s exactly what they are. They don’t fit into any category at all, they’re just random jokes.
Random Jokes Blonde Style
I haven’t had a blonde joke for quite some time, so the first of my random jokes is going to be a blonde joke.
A blonde wanted to sell her car, but no matter how hard she tried she just couldn’t find any buyers. She calls Suzie, her friend for advice, and her Suzie asks her how many miles she had on the car.
The blonde tells her she had over 235,000 miles on the clock.
Suzie says, “That’s your problem. You’ve got way too many miles showing. I have a mechanic friend who can help you with that,” giving her his card. “Just tell him to turn back the miles to whatever you want.”
So the blonde goes to the mechanic and tells him to put the miles to 40,000. A couple of days later the Suzie rings and asks if she’d sold the car since her friend dropped the miles. The blonde told her, “Are you kidding? Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!”
Random Jokes Morgue Style
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. After he examines the bodies the coroner calls the police to tell them his results. “First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure whilst making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector”, says the Coroner.
“Second body: “Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.”
The Inspector asked, “What of the third body?”
“Ah,” says the coroner, “This is the most unusual one. Paddy from Belfast, 30, struck by lightning.”
“Why is he smiling then?” inquires the Inspector.
“He thought he was having his picture taken.”
Sexy Sal Blonde Joke
That’s it for this weeks Friday Funnies, but don’t rush off just yet. Have you seen my first try at performing a stand-up comedy