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Ranch Jokes Friday Funnies #200

Ranch Jokes that make people laugh. I came across some of these ranch jokes in my email the other day and they got me laughing so loudly that I had to include them in this weeks Friday Funnies. Seeing as how todays Friday Funnies is the 200th post of Friday Funnies I wanted it to be especially funny. I hope you find these ranch jokes as funny as I did.

A Female Ranch Jokes That Will Floor You

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher’s widow said to the hired hand, “You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick  your heels.” The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o’clock came, however, and he didn’t return.

Two o’clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher’s widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

“Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. “Now take off my boots.”

He did as she asked, ever so slowly. “Now take off my socks.”

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

“Now take off my skirt.”

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

“Now take off my bra.” Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, “If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired.”

For our second ranch joke I thought it only fitting that Sexy Sals thrills us with another of her hilarious blonde jokes.

ranch jokes Sexy Sals blonde jokes

Next we go to Montana for our final ranch jokes.

Old ranch owner John farmed a small ranch in Montana.  The Montana Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his workers and sent an agent out to interview him.

‘I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,’ demanded the agent.

‘Well,’ replied old John, ‘There’s my ranch hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a week plus free room and board. Then there’s the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night.’

‘That’s the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit,’ says the agent.

‘That would be me,’ replied old rancher John.

Don’t be shy now, leave a comment telling us which of the jokes was your favourite.

I hope you enjoyed this weeks Friday Funnies. Don’t forget to have a great weekend and to visit my sports jokes category for more funny jokes

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Peter Pelliccia

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This Post Has 10 Comments

    1. Twitter:
      Same here Rosa, although I have to admit that Sexy Sals joke was pretty good too.

  1. Thank you for making me laugh so hard :-) It actually took me a second to get the one with the gay cowboy ;-)

    1. Twitter:
      Hey Stefan, you and me both. It’s one of those rare jokes that just catches you by surprise :laugh_tb:

      1. I told this one to my buddies last night when we were playing cards.
        It made them laugh so hard :-)

        Please keep posting more!

  2. Twitter:
    I just discovered your website and these are entertaining! The result of the first is truly unexpected, and it made me roar with laughter!

    1. Twitter:
      Glad you liked it Arnabranjan. You should check out previous posts and come back for future ones.

  3. In the last line is interesting when she looked at him and said, If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired. That’s funniest.

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